JenniPooh,
At my wife's suggestion I bought an 1858 Remington replica by Pietta on July 5th this year. I didn't know anything about what a cap & ball revolver is (it's not actually a muzzleloader), anything about maintaining or firing it, and my wife expected I'd hang it on a wall somewhere.
I got online, found this forum and another one where there were knowledgeable people, and learned how to use it. Frankly, I *LOVE* my gun (I even named it after my momma and my wife).
Yes, I had to buy some supplies - every gun needs them.
Yes, I had to learn how to load and maintain it - every gun needs this, too.
Yes, I clean it after I use it (basic cleaning after each use and a good thorough cleaning every now and then) - every gun has to be cleaned, too, though maybe not as often.
Frankly I've enjoyed shooting it more than the more modern pistols that use chambered cartridges. At this point I've shot over 700 rounds through her, and the joy and pleasure of seeing the smoke & flames belch out of "Judy Kay" - as well as the looks of awe I see on the faces of other people at the shooting range - is well worth the time spent loading or cleaning it.
I've found that though it takes me more time to load her, I get to savor the experience of shooting her at the range a lot more than those people who simply show up, shoot BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, as fast as they can and then leave. She's accurate and pretty (I have a brass frame), and contrary to what's been suggested by some, she's a *real* gun.
I've made a ton of new friends. I go out every couple of weeks with a group of "Cowboy Action Shooters" - many who have 1851s. We have a great time shooting!!!
People have their preferences, and I have no idea what your husband will or won't like. I don't blame you at all if you want to fight for the right to return it and get another kind of pistol (there are many great ones out there). However, for my part "Judy Kay" has been one of the best things my wife has ever given me!!