I carry 13 in my XDM Compact, nothing in the chamber. I have, on occasion, carried a spare mag in the glove compartment. But generally its 13 self-defense rounds.
Since it's a trade-off between easily carrying a gun and large round capacity, I go with 7 rounds of 9mm in a pocket-sized gun. Not what I'd choose for home defense, but probably good enough for carry.
I don't know if I am a "pig", but I carry my S&W SD40VE for my EDC. Its slim, and I can carry 15 rounds if I want. But usually I carry 14 rounds so I can put the one, in the "pipe", away in the magazine if needed.
13+1 in my Springfield Armory Mod 2 9mm. Don't feel a need for carrying an extra mag with that many rounds in my Mod 2. For me it's more about accuracy, reliability, how it feels in my hand, my confidence in my CC handgun and my ability to shoot it.
At some point, the bulk and weight of the larger gun will lead to it staying home. A slim thin small pistol with 6-8 rounds can be carried effortlessly and thus is more likely to always be carried.
I switch between a Glock 19 (15+1) and a Glock 42 (6+1) for EDC, based on the level of concealment needed. I carry a spare mag for the 42, but not for the 19.
5 in my J frame is fine. Anything more just adds more weight and bulk to the equation. Of course that's just my opinion, but I've come to that conclusion after reading numerous police log reports in my area. Can't remember when I've read one where more than 3 shots were fired. YMMV
Since we've dropped into cliche land again and just reports of I carry this or that, we are not adding anything that hasn't been said on every gun forum, blog, or whatever since this issue first came up.