Home defense weapon for the wife.

My recommendation would be a SA/DA sig 229 in 9 and some aftermarket rubber grips. Out of my collection, that is what all the women I have taken to the range lean towards. For some reason they like how it fits in their hand. Some find it a little heavy but the do better with the extra weight and recoil absorption compared to a lighter gun, ie. glock or smith. From my experience, most women don't handle 40 well unless they are experienced shooters.
 
ATN082268 said:
O.K. I have pretty much settled on my home defense weapon FNX-45 Tactical. Now I am looking for a home defense weapon for my wife. I realize she will probably have to practice with a few and it will ultimately be her choice but I wanted some suggestions on where to start. She isn't very mechanically inclined and doesn't handle stress very well (and it is not based on gender either), so, unless you have some very strong arguments for an automatic, she will probably use a revolver, at least for the near future. What would you suggest for a home defense weapon for my wife? Price isn't an issue unless you get really silly. In both our cases, we are going to wait for most of the holiday financial dust to settle before our handgun purchases. Thank you.
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With all due respect, I honestly think you need to step back a bit.

Look back at your threads and at how you settled on the FNX. Your wife needs to make the same decision making process on her gun. That includes whether or not she wants one.

James Yeager is as controversial as gun trainers get, but his video on women and firearms is worth watching: "Women are too Stupid to Choose Their Own Gun" (yes, the title is tounge in cheek).

If you are keeping a loaded handgun for home defense, there should be no difference between a DA revolver and a DA autoloader other tha capacity. Both fire when you pull the trigger. The mechanics on a firearm are not that complicated, and can be learned by most anyone, espcially if you go with a more simple autoloader like a Glock (Full Disclosure: I hate Glocks. They work well, but that doesn't mean I have to like them). I keep a revolver by my bedside, and so does my wife- because that's what each of us wanted.

I also echo the comments above, espcially about her getting training from someone that isn't you, and the use of long guns (either a rifle, shotgun, or pistol caliber carbine) in home defense.
 
I agree with those whove said to let her pick the gun, however your mention of her lack of experience and indirectly stating that she might not be willing to train with a gun leave the revolver as the best option.

no failure to feed training, no failure to fire training, no failure to eject training, no tap rack bang training, no "safeties" to disengage, no magazine disconnectors, no slide to rack.....

this is not a condemnation on the semi-auto, just bare in mind that one is best left for those will to learn a little something about them.

also, should she choose a semi-auto, the fewer gizmos, gadgets, levers, and locks it has the better.
 
I believe that for a woman the revolver is more than fair.
the .38 is ok
you have to think that even a very strong caliber can cross the walls of the house and the loud noise stuns and makes you lose your mind.

a subsonic caliber would be even better.

Finally, a revolver to keep in your pocket and use when needed


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That article recommends that beginners should purchase the most uncomfortable, most difficult to shoot gun of all possible variants. It makes this recommendation based on incorrect and really silly ideas such as "policemen frequently carry revolvers," you "can't see your sights" when you shoot for self defense, and you won't ever need to defend yourself at a distance greater than 7 yards. It also recommends that these novices should purchase a not-a-holster product that fails to protect the trigger or hold the gun securely.

Worse, it implies that it's perfectly okay to buy a deadly weapon without any intention of learning anything about how to use it safely and effectively.

Not a fan.

pax
 
I think the OP answered his own question with his seeming inclination for a revolver to fill the role of Wife's HD gun. Then my follow-up question would be will it be used in the capacity of her CCW as well?

If not, I am all about practicality in terms of narrowing my selection of any new firearms to those that match the ammo storages that I have on hand (for example, I would not purchase a .41 mag, .32ACP etc. simply and only because I have no corresponding ammo--now if money were no object I would buy guns like our gals do shoes but it ain't happening in the "real world"). Here's a thought as I know a couple of people that have them, if .45auto is your primary ammo on hand and you desire a revolver, how about a S&W Governor (again, for HD only) as it will serve up .45auto, .45LC or .410Buckshot...? Taurus makes a similar revolver but it shoots .45LC not .45auto (S&W stole the ideal and improved upon it). You have a revolver/410 shotgun capability all in the same revolver.

BTW, I love the S&W 625 .45auto but it's really expensive relatively speaking
 
On average, women's hands are smaller than the average man's hands.

Also on average, most women do not have as much strength in their hands as a man does. For instance, my wife cannot pull back the slide on my 1911. So there would be a problem with her chambering a semi-auto or clearing a jam/stovepipe round or case caught between the slide and the barrel, all of which could get her killed in a self defense situation. She also isn't that mechanically inclined.

But she can handle a double or single action pull on a revolver. For that reason I got her a .38 special S&W 2 inch barrel "Airweight" in nickel. She can handle that just fine and I don't have to worry about her not being able to clear a jam.

Some people who don't know any better and have fallen prey to "wonder nines", as well as the Dirty Harry "magnum is better" mentality, "pooh pooh" the .38 special, but its case capacity is larger than a 9mm and it is on average more powerful than a 9mm and was used for many decades by law enforcement agencies in the U.S. Both your wife and my wife would not be undergunned using a .38 special.

I also myself frequently use a blued, .38 special Rossi model 68, with two inch barrel and it, along with a Taurus are nice copies of a S&W and are also good choices (and less expensive options than a S&W or Ruger) for you to consider for your wife. I got my Rossi less than a year ago, unfired like new in the box off Gunbroker for $325.00 The trigger pull and slickness is a little better on my wife's S&W than it is on my Rossi, but only a little and I could always slick up my Rossi's trigger to be just as slick if I felt the need, but it's okay like it is.

So for what ever my opinion is worth, in cases where the lady isn't particularly mechanically inclined, isn't interested in repetitive training to learn to clear a jam and doesn't have the adequate strength in her hands to chamber a round or clear a jam, then a revolver in my opinion is the best choice. Also because she can keep it near her (or on her) and grab it quickly and it isn't as bulky as a shotgun. Plus if the cylinder is loaded and she has a primer failure all she has to do is quickly squeeze it again, plus there is no safety to have to remember to disengage in the adrenaline rush of a self defense situation.
 
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On the issue of hand strength, here's what I've written elsewhere:
Over the past ten years, I’ve worked with thousands of women as they learned to shoot. To this day, I have literally never met a healthy adult woman who could not be taught how to rack the slide on a semi-auto with less than an hour on the range — and the overwhelming majority of those women took less than 5 minutes to learn the simple technique that makes racking the slide an easy no-effort thing. Racking the slide is almost entirely a matter of technique, not strength, which means it’s something that almost anyone can easily learn how to do.

In contrast to this, I have met dozens of women who did not have the hand strength to reliably pull the trigger on a double action revolver for more than a few rounds even after repeated efforts. ... The tricks you can use to make pulling a heavy revolver trigger less difficult for someone with low hand strength nearly all require you to do something contra-indicated in a self defense situation.
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If you're concerned about weak-handed women, you're better off learning how to teach someone to rack a slide, so you can hand those women the more appropriate weapon for their physical abilities.

"She won't learn how to use the gun anyway" is far too often a self-fulfilling prophecy. The newcomer's reluctance to learn anything can be caused by your own low expectations, and it's also often driven by forcing her to use a gun that's difficult to handle or uncomfortable for her to shoot. Many of the small, lightweight, difficult-to-shoot guns traditionally recommended as especially suited for women fall into this category.

pax
 
pax,

I am a tech college instructor and you are exactly right that in a vast majority of cases people will either rise, or sink, to the level of expectation of the person instructing them.

My wife is no giant, she is 5'3" tall, but she can handle my 1911A-1 like nobody's business. It is HER choice for a home defense weapon. She is comfortable its operation, can rack the slide, change the magazine, and put rounds on target reliably out to 15 yards. She doesn't practice farther than that because in reality it is farther than she would most likely shoot anyways.

I think too often men want to try and pick the gun for their wife out of some macho, I know more than you do, attitude. When the reality is if you pick her gun and she doesn't like it she will not want to practice and never get good or become confident in the operation of the handgun.

Don't underestimate your women guys. Mine is a pretty good shot and the worst thing to say to her about almost anything is "you can't do that!" She will prove you wrong.
 
Pax wrote:
On the issue of hand strength, here's what I've written elsewhere:

Over the past ten years, I’ve worked with thousands of women as they learned to shoot. To this day, I have literally never met a healthy adult woman who could not be taught how to rack the slide on a semi-auto with less than an hour on the range — and the overwhelming majority of those women took less than 5 minutes to learn the simple technique that makes racking the slide an easy no-effort thing. Racking the slide is almost entirely a matter of technique, not strength, which means it’s something that almost anyone can easily learn how to do.

In contrast to this, I have met dozens of women who did not have the hand strength to reliably pull the trigger on a double action revolver for more than a few rounds even after repeated efforts. ... The tricks you can use to make pulling a heavy revolver trigger less difficult for someone with low hand strength nearly all require you to do something contra-indicated in a self defense situation.
Click to expand...


If you're concerned about weak-handed women, you're better off learning how to teach someone to rack a slide, so you can hand those women the more appropriate weapon for their physical abilities.

"She won't learn how to use the gun anyway" is far too often a self-fulfilling prophecy. The newcomer's reluctance to learn anything can be caused by your own low expectations, and it's also often driven by forcing her to use a gun that's difficult to handle or uncomfortable for her to shoot. Many of the small, lightweight, difficult-to-shoot guns traditionally recommended as especially suited for women fall into this category.

pax
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Kathy, my post was not intended to be demeaning towards women and I hope you did not take it that way. My post reflected MY experience regarding the size and strength (on average...as I stated) regarding woman's hands.

Nowithstanding what you've "written elsewhere" Kathy, (and I have read some of your blogs at your "Cornered Cat" website), I believe I know my wife's hand size and strength better than you do, and do not believe I would be "better off learning how to teach someone to rack a slide"....as you stated, (at least regarding my wife).

I know very well how to rack a slide Kathy. I was racking the slides on .45 acp 1911's in the Marines during Vietnam decades likely before you were born. I have been shooting and working on guns for 50 years since I was 10. I carry and use a variety of semi-autos as well as revolvers myself. I know the different "techniques" for racking slides such as holding the frame stationary and simply pulling back on the slide, holding the slide stationary and pushing forward on the frame, or the best way to maximize force using both those techniques wherein one pulls the slide back as one also pushes the frame forward at the same time. I have tried to teach my wife how to rack a slide.

However my wife is very small and petite at 5ft 2in. Standing behind her I can rest my chin on top of her head and even then I have to scrunch down a bit to do that. Her hands are very small and she doesn't have much strength in them. My 13 year old granddaughter's hands are bigger and have more strength in them than my wife's. Just yesterday she brought me a pickle jar to open that I opened right up that she didn't have the strength in her hands to get the lid off. She said getting the lids off jars and things off the top shelves that are too high for her 5 ft 2 in height,....is why she keeps me around Lol.

My wife isn't into guns like I am. She is only interested in just knowing enough to be able to operate her S&W airweight .38 special and that's it. She doesn't care about going to the range and shooting otherwise, and try as I might, she just has no interest in guns other than that. I'm grateful she even has THAT much interest because some woman don't even like guns. At least my wife has enough interest in them that she took a handgun course and learned to shoot hers and accepted my help in teaching her to shoot hers. However, she'd much rather be at home sewing and making curtains and doing "girly" things. And also we are most of the time together, so she has her "junk yard dog" to protect her and she would only have to resort to her S&W revolver (that she keeps handy) if I were incapacitated.

I have tried over and over again to teach her how to rack a slide. I have shown her how she can maximize her force by pulling back on the slide while at the same time she pushes forward on the frame. She just doesn't have the strength in her 62 year old hands (and arms) to do it....period. And she didn't have the strength even when she was much younger when I was trying to teach her. I had the same experience with my aunt when she was in her 60's and was telling me she couldn't even operate the slide on her .25 acp semi-auto she had inherited and asked me what gun she should get, and I also steered her to a 2 inch Rossi .38 special that she can operate just fine.

No doubt there are many women that can handle racking a slide, clearing a stovepipe jam and remembering to take the safety off....just fine in an emergency situation. And you no doubt are one of those and are obviously a knowledgeable and experienced shooter Kathy, but as I said, I believe (on average as I previously stated) many women have less strength in their hands and are not as easily able to operate a slide nor as mechanically inclined as most men are (again....on average).

I disagree with your assertion that if a woman can't rack a slide then she likely can't operate a double action trigger either. Unless the double action handgun she is trying to operate is a cheap one, with an atrocious double action trigger pull, or an old war surplus Webley .455 with its also attendant atrocious double action pull. It is my experience and opinion that it is much easier for the on average woman to pull a double action trigger than it is for them to rack/operate a semi-auto slide....and or clear a jam on a semi-auto. Your experience may differ, but that's MY experience. Nothing demeaning towards women regarding my opinion and experience.

My wife doesn't have the strength to rack a slide, nor the inclination to train to try and gain that strength no matter what technique I try to use to teach her. Lacking that training (that would kick in in an emergency situation), I wouldn't WANT her attempting (and failing) to rack a slide or try to clear a jam and for her to try and remember to disengage the safety on a semi auto. But she likes her simple, pretty much goof proof (point and squeeze) S&W .38 special airweight and can operate that just fine in double and single action in spite of her lack of strength or more advance training. And that works for her self protection if I'm not around. And ultimately finding out what works for one's body and self protection, is what personal protection is all about.


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A high quality 3-4 inch barrel medium frame 38 Special or 357 magnum loaded with 38 Special +P ammo is a difficult handgun to beat. Back that up with a high quality 18-20 inch barrel 20 gauge pump action shotgun and you have a nearly unbeatable combination.
 
G17 or 34, soft shooting 9mm. Just keep it loaded so all she has to do is grab, point and pull the trigger since there's no thumb safeties and all that extra stuff.

Or something like a GP100 loaded with 38 Specials, but it's only got six shots opposed to having 18 (3x that much) in the G17/34.
 
Pump shotgun with an 18 to 22 inch barrel. If she later shows enthusiasm for a pistol than a Lady Smith or Airweight. take her to the range as often as you can.
 
I have to ask why the person that knows his wife the best is asking strangers what weapon would be best for her for HD use and none of us knowing her?:confused:
I would think a question best answered by her.
 
AK 47!

Millions of illiterate peasants can learn to use one in 1 hour or less, and you should NEVER go for a handgun when you can go for a rifle or shotgun!

Note that no army on earth gives handgun to its soldiers as a main infantry weapon.
Now why do you think that is?

The AK kicks very little, is SUPER reliable and very deadly and not horribly expensive.
With HP ammo it doesn’t over penetrate much worse than high powered handgun rounds.
 
I can not think of a worse gun for a new shooter, male, female, old or young, with oven mitts or Kindergartner's hands, than a lightweight 5 shot snubby revolver..... unless maybe it was a 2 shot lightweight Derringer ......

Low capacity, slow to load, short sight radius with almost unusable sights, horrendous trigger pulls ...... Wrong Answer.

IME, The easiest firearm for a new shooter to make hits with and learn to operate quickly under pressure is a youth model 20 guage pump shotgun .... the only drawback being they are hard to operate (covering a door) while you are on the phone speaking to the 911 dispatcher ......

An AR-15 pattern carbine takes a bit more training to master than the shotgun, but loaded with varmit bullets, penetrates walls less than the shotgun's buckshot, is easier to manage one- handed, and with a standard capacity magaizine, should not need to be reloaded in any typical home defense problem ......
 
Just a thought, but if the OP's wife doesn't handle stress well, maybe she should pass on the gun and take a martial arts class instead. Perhaps a better, and safer, option for her than carrying?

Laura
 
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