I know that it is big selling point for "frangible" ammunition, but I'd religiously avoid anything that won't make through a few a sheets of drywall without breaking up since it won't reach the vital organs/structures of an assailant especially if that frangible round has to defeat an
barrier enroute to the bad guy's anatomy.
Since it is unlikely that an intruder or assailant will stand still in the open awaiting such crippled incoming ammunition (the moment you shoot at him he's going for cover unless he is stone cold stupid) frangible ammunition won't cut it.
Best advice that I could give the OP is to invest in 200 - 300 rounds of a premium JHP design (Gold Dots, HST, PDX1, Hornady TAP/XTP, etc.) run 50 to 100 through your SD/HD weapon to assure reliable functioning and keep the remaining 100 or 200 for the role of protecting you and yours.
The following loads all demonstrate outstanding terminal performance and can be considered acceptable for duty/self-defense use:
9 mm:
Barnes XPB 105 & 115 gr JHP (copper bullet)
Federal Tactical 124 gr JHP (LE9T1)
Speer Gold Dot 124 gr +P JHP
Winchester Ranger-T 124 gr +P JHP (RA9124TP)
Winchester Partition Gold 124 gr JHP (RA91P)
Winchester Ranger-T 127 gr +P+ JHP (RA9TA)
Federal Tactical 135 gr +P JHP (LE9T5)
Federal HST 147 gr JHP (P9HST2)
Remington Golden Saber 147 gr JHP (GS9MMC)
Speer Gold Dot 147 gr JHP
Winchester Ranger-T 147 gr JHP (RA9T)
Winchester 147 gr bonded JHP (RA9B/Q4364)
Check out the following link for a professional perspective on SD/HD ammo selection:
http://www.m4carbine.net/showthread.php?t=19887
Stay clear of the DRT, Magsafe, Extreme Shock junk. It is nothing more than a very expensive novelty load that may cost you a lot more than just money.