Here is a copy of an editorial that I wrote for english class.

Brian -
I'm assuming (always a dangerous thing, but here goes anyway) that when you say this was an editorial for English class, the assignment was to write an editorial. Coineach already addressed the specious logic therein, so I'll comment on the comments. Keeping in mind, of course, this was an editorial.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gun_brian:
mk86fcc,

Thank you for the complement. I am in the eleventh grade. My english teacher gave me an 88% on this paper. Here are the comments that she wrote:
"Good to begin with the amendment itself."
Agreed, excellent attention grabber.
"They wrote so interpretations could change
with the times!"
Irrelevant.
"But times/circumstances have changed..."
Irrelevant.
"Your logic is one sided - consider...
had George Harrison lived in the U.S.,
he'd be dead.
Of course your logic is one-sided, it's supposed to be an editorial for cryin' out loud.
What is the homocide rate of England?
Again, irrelevant in an editorial format, unless it further bolsters your point.
Compare/contrast it with Baltimore's."
You can't compare/contrast. You can compare, or you can contrast. And in this particular case, only a comparison would be valid.

[/quote]

All-in-all, I would probably have given you somewhere in the neighborhood of a 95-96%. Why not 100%? Well, just a few errors in syntax - that's about it.

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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein

[This message has been edited by mk86fcc (edited February 03, 2000).]
 
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gun_brian:



"Your logic is one sided - consider...
had George Harrison lived in the U.S.,
he'd be dead.

[/quote]

Are knife wounds more deadly in the US because of our constitution? (sarcasm) I.E., there is no discernable logic in this critical comment by your teacher.
Gun_brian, you wrote a good paper. I suggest you forget the grade and do a simple response for yourself to the comments within the framework of the original work (for yourself). It won't change the world today, but might help make you an even better thinker and writer and we need all of you folks that we can muster. Thanks for sharing it with us!

[This message has been edited by G-Freeman (edited February 03, 2000).]
 
Brian, did you or your teacher add the extra "o" to homicide? The way she wrote it, it could probably have a different connotation.

I've been there too. Any teacher who assigns an editorial or a persuasive paper and then faults you for not showing the other side is just disagreeing with you. They just happen to be doing it in a dumb way brought on by being too comfortable with having power over you. Reasoning with this woman will be pretty pointless but try anyway; you never know who's listening.
 
Brian:

Tomorrow is a Friday in-service in our district and I have to spend the whole afternoon scoring writing assessments for the junior class. The folks who came up with writing as a component of the school improvement plan should be drawn and quartered. We should have done marksmanship skills instead of writing. Targets are easier to score. Oh well, I might as well warm up on your little essay.

Well Brian, I have scored your essay using the scoring rubric adopted by our school district and the assessment tool used by the state for scoring the five writing traits. According to our district standards for a junior you score “exemplary”. On the state standards your writing makes the cut for “expert”. Your only deficiencies are in the area of conventions and the problems are very minor. It is refreshing to see a student who is both literate and gutsy enough to share his work with the rest of the world.

As we both know, your teacher occupies a little higher position on the food chain than you do. Subjective grading can suck. Oops, teachers don’t use that word do they? Don’t worry about the grade. You don’t have ownership of the problem.
 
Two things: Welcome to our group and good job on the article. You have a good head on your shoulders.

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Ne Conjuge Nobiscum
"If there be treachery, let there be jehad!"
 
Man, Brian, I wish you were in my class.

That was some paper. You're good. If my students wrote half as well as you, I would be so thrilled that I would probably start howling with joy and be unable to stop. An 88? Just what kind of high school is this? I've reviewed college papers for friends that were not as well done as yours and got higher than 88. I suspect someone might have played fast and loose with the subjective grading concept there.

Oh, and Ankeny....teachers use the word "sucks" a lot, especially around report card time! My boss has had to remind me more than once that "he sucks" does NOT count as constuctive criticism in that little comment box on the report card :rolleyes:

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*quack*
 
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