fitfighter ~
Okay. So she's had some experience with semi autos and hasn't had any real trouble with them. That being the case, I'd suggest sticking with a semi auto unless she has a strong affinity for revolvers. You don't say anything about her hand or finger strength, but my experience suggests that roughly half of the women out there --and not always the ones we expect! -- have difficulty running a DA trigger well, and that's another factor to include in your thinking. Not insurmountable if she prefers revolvers, but no reason to push her that direction that I can see.
You say she'll be most comfortable with 9mm or below; to me, that suggests sticking with a 9mm unless you know something about her recoil tolerance that you're not sharing (esp since most .380 guns, particularly "concealable" .380s, are physically uncomfortable to shoot). Once we get below the .380 line, we're no longer in defensive caliber land. Although a smaller caliber might indeed do in a pinch, unless there's a compelling reason to go smaller (such as arthritis or some other physical injury), it's something to be avoided.
Since the gun will be primarily for home defense and for becoming a better / more experienced shooter (you don't even know for sure that she'll want to carry), I'd suggest concentrating on firearms that are first and foremost comfortable to shoot. Yes, that's going to rule out a lot of the superlightweight teeny-tiny guns people suggest for concealed carry. But for the most part, those tiny lightweights are
not appropriate for beginners. The smaller and lighter the gun, the more painful it is to shoot and the less likely she is to enjoy practice or want to do more of it. That's exactly the opposite of your primary goal here, unless there's something else you haven't mentioned yet.
Obviously, you do have carry in mind down the road, so we should avoid suggesting anything ginormous that would be too large to carry. That's do-able. Since you suggest that she'll carry in her purse, there's NO reason at all to stick with the tiny lightweights in any case: if you're going to go to the trouble and hassle of putting a gun in your purse instead of conveniently on your body, the size of the gun absolutely doesn't matter a bit. (The weight does, but not the size.) If she does decide to carry in her purse, I'd suggest stopping by
www.usgalco.com,
www.coronadoleather.com,
www.designerconcealedcarry.com, and
www.guntotenmamas.com to look at some of the holster purses that are available. I'm right now working on some purse reviews for the Cornered Cat website, but they aren't up yet.
Okay, now the gun itself. For simplicity, I'd suggest sticking with either a striker-fired or one of the lighter DAO triggers. Yes, some people do learn to shoot on DA/SA guns, but most people really don't put in the practice to become truly skilled with these trigger types; they often shoot them only in SA and refuse to master the transition from DA to SA on the first two shots. That's bad juju on a defense gun. Similarly, a gun that absolutely
requires the safety to be engaged every single time (as a pure SA gun does) really isn't the best learning gun, because beginners do forget to engage that safety a depressing percentage of the time. So I suggest a simple DAO with a fairly light trigger or a striker-fired gun.
You don't say anything about her hand size, so I'm basing my recommendations on my own medium female hands. If her hands are very small, some of the guns below won't be appropriate for her.
Here are some guns that fit the bill that she might want to consider:
Glock 26
Glock 19
XD9 SC
XD9 C
Kahr P9, K9, T9 (
avoid PM9 & esp avoid PM40 -- too painful for beginning hands to avoid flinch habits)
Kahr CW9
M&P 9C
And now, having educated you about choosing a handgun for someone else, I'll tell you the truth: it doesn't matter what you choose. You're going to get it wrong. You cannot step inside her skin and feel what she feels when she handles the gun or pulls the trigger. Your hands are not the same size as her hands, and gun fit really
matters in a self defense gun. (See
www.corneredcat.com/FirstGun/tryongun.aspx for how to check gun fit.)
Also, by doing the research without her, you are cutting short her learning process. Facing the type of questions that come up while looking for a gun really helps a person become mentally prepared to defend herself when she needs to. If she herself faces the question of "semi auto or revolver?", she'll have to ask
herself whether she intends to practice with the gun and really learn how to run it. She'll have to ask
herself whether she'll be content to just throw it in a drawer somewhere or whether she'll want to get some training. If she herself faces the question of "big or small?" she'll come face to face with whether she really wants to carry it with her -- or if she's willing to think about doing that down the road. By making those decisions for her, you're robbing her of the opportunity to make those decisions for herself and cutting short her growth process.
Instead of choosing a gun for her, I strongly recommend that you give her a gift certificate for her birthday -- two of them, in fact. One for the gun, one for a training class.
But that's just me. Good luck to both of you.
pax
Just curious for those of you with wives and g/f's that carry, what do they use? I know what I am planning on getting but there is always something you don't think of ya know? All advice is welcome!
Your wife isn't women-in-general. She is herself, with her own abilities, challenges, and preferences.
If she decides she wants to go through with getting a CCDW then I have guys I work with who are instructors to do the work with her. I learned when we were dating that I don't have the patience to teach her myself. I realise my initial post may have seemed to be just shooting from the hip so to speak but it really was not meant that way. I was more just curious on what experience others in my shoes have had.