In general, I'd say the .357sig is tops for most defense uses(sub compact, CC size, duty size).
It offers great specs with most barrel lengths, feeds well and has high KE levels.
Recoil & muzzle blast are the only - things you ever hear about with the .357sig.
The 9x19mm(9mm Luger) is the next "best" subcompact/duty size caliber. It also feeds very well, offers a large # of rounds, & the +P/+P+ 9mm rounds has good power/KE.
The .40S&W is okay but not as well engineered as the .357sig round, IMO.
For DA/DAO revolvers, the .44spl offers a lot. The .41 & .357 magnum rounds are proven loads too. For deep concealment or 2nd gun use, the .38spl +P is fine. Many modern JHP & special pupose loads are now out there.