Own both & would favor the 23 if I could only have one. Recoil can be stout w/ this light of a pistol firing say 155gr Silver Tips or 155 GD's. However, w/ 180gr loads (which I prefer), IMO, recoil isn't much worse than my 19 firing 124gr+p GD's for instance.
The 19 will be easier for most to shoot well, & when I carry mine, it's usually loaded w/ 124+p+ Hydra-Shok's, & I don't feel the least bit "outgunned".
Best advice I can give, go w/ the one you feel most comfortable with, & feed it with a good factory jhp & practice!
Best...long shot!