Art Eatman
Staff in Memoriam
De-escalation is not in the same book as dealing with an attack. Two different things, so let's stay on topic, please.
the people involved don't become criminals until the violence happens.
This is a very limited subset of the possible situations where deadly force might become necessary.1. Wanting to be treated with Dignity and Respect have nothing to do with a person who is determined to carjack you.
2. Being asked or told what to do is irrelevant to the guy waiting in the bushes to jump you at the ATM machine.
3. Providing someone with options or second chances to make things right - not a factor when a couple of armed individuals are quickly approaching you in a dark parking lot.
Based on statistics on assault and murder it is quite likely that an attacker may be an acquaintance or family member. That's obviously a situation where most people would try to de-escalate before opening fire.
Then you should spend a lot of time learning how to de-escalate effectively given that you have made a firm decision to not resort to deadly force in these situations. De-escalation is probably one of the best possible responses in a situation where the deadly force option is off the table.I've already come to my personal conclusion that I will never use a gun on an attacker who is an acquaintance or family member of mine - not even if my own life is in danger. As far as I'm concerned, for me these situations are "gun-off-limits."
I don't think you understood my post at all. I don't think your decision about deadly force and family/friends is unique, and that was my point. Most people would have a difficult time using deadly force against a family member or acquaintance even if they were in serious danger from such a person. Combine that fact with the statistics which indicate that attackers are often family members or friends and it becomes obvious why it is important to learn de-escalation skills.If you think I'm being too narrow minded about this, please give me some situations where you think I might consider using a gun on an acquaintance or family member?
Then you should spend a lot of time learning how to de-escalate effectively given that you have made a firm decision to not resort to deadly force in these situations. De-escalation is probably one of the best possible responses in a situation where the deadly force option is off the table.