funniest hunting stories

C

chemist308

New member
Well, I've got a couple that I know of and would like to share. If you have any or know of any through friends, share:

PA Flintlock Muzzleloader season: A guy at work I know came in after a couple days of flintlock hunting and had his thumb completely wrapped in white guaze bandage. We asked him what had happened and I'll never forget the story he told. He was out and saw a beautiful buck. Shouldering the rifle he pulled the trigger, and as many flintlock hunters have experience--click, spark, nothing... Well the deer wasn't going anywere so he tried this a couple more times eventially getting a shot off. The shot must have been at an off angle, as it immobilized the deer by breaking one hind and one front leg. The down deer seemed docile enough so he thought rather than go through the hassle of a reload, and the possibility of not getting another shot off anyway...well why not take the deer Jim Bowe style--that is slit it's throat with his hunting knife. From what I understand the buck was going along with the plan allowing his horns to be taken in one hand until...the knife was lain against it's throat. At that point the buck did raise at least one objection turning head quickly and tearing our friend's thumb with the antlers as it turned. To conclude the buck did eventually make it to the freezer after taking another round from a flintlock, but not without getting at least one good lick in, and the friend took some stitches in his thumb and has a story for the grandkids in 30 years :)

The other story involves my dad, shortly after coming home from Vietnam, 4 deer and Mosin Nagant rifle. More to come on that later...
 
Lee-Enfield and a big white tail.

I was whitetail hunting with some cousins and I got lucky enough to down a big bad five pointer who came running out of the bush. He was followed however by a bigger badder six point. my cousins dad calmly asked for a gun and was handed his old .303 from the guy stuck in the back seat. he was standing up and took careful aim at the buck which had stopped at 150 yards and pulled the trigger... nothing. he worked the bolt and there was no round in the chamber so he closed the bolt and tried again... nothing. the buck took off never to be seen again and buddy in the back seat pipes up saying "oh would you like this" as he stuck the magazine out the window. followed by "geez it was only a deer" when he was told it was a good thing he was in the truck or the barrel would have been wrapped around his ears had he been standing outside.
 
Tree Top Pheasant

I was pheasant hunting at a club with my dog. I winged a flushed bird. I was not sure if the bird was going to go down or not. As I was planning another shot, he made into a tree. He landed near the top, about fifty feet off the ground. My dog was trying to climb the tree to get at the bird. I thought and thought about how I was going to get this bird down. I had no choice but to shoot him out of the tree. The bird almost landed on top of my dog. The dog gave me a look as to ask if this will be our new method of hunting.
 
Well this was deer season about 3 yrs ago and me and my father were on some propetry that we had been given premission to hunt and I had bugged him for about 2 weeks to hunt his stand well he finally aggred and he was to hunt mine. In order to get to my stand you must go up a great big hill and when it rained you could not hardly walk up it well he wanted to drive up it well he wound up slidind off into the trees and nocking off the mirror and putting o huge dent in the side well in the mean time I am hearing all of the comition on the other side and paying attention to all of that this buck walks out and I dont even notice him he startled me and 45 yrds from my stand stood a giant 8-point needless to say i shot him and wound up killing the biggest deer that has ever been killed on that property at a 145 7/8" deer and my dad was not too happy either
 
i usually use a 168g .308 running about 2600fps (i THINK). but gun season was over so i used a 52,500,00g F250 running almost at 88fps last year to take a medium-small 8 point...

i called the sheriff because the deer wasnt dead. i had only broken its back and i didnt want to touch off a round without anyone clearing it first. especially since that would be ILLEGAL...

the sheriff came out and popped a round in its noggin' and went back to his car to fill out the kill tag. when he came back down the hill to where the deer had crawled before being shot, i had my 2 Dcell flash light and folding box cutter out. he asked if i planned to gut it right there (on the periphery of someones yard) and i said i sure was because my wife would have a fit if i did this in MY front yard...

he said hed never seen it done and would it be okay if he watched since his son had just taken a hunter safety class with his father in law. i said sure but just be aware that i had only SEEN it done ONCE, THREE years ago...

i ended up with some super tasting deer and about 200 foot long sticks of sausage. its easier to share with co-workers than a handful of raw hamburger :p

my only hunting story worth telling...

the deer scored a 55 on some score thing and there wasnt a mark on the truck or on the deer. other than the .40cal hole in the back of his head...

deer2.jpg

david
 
Last year while pheasant hunting a blew the head off of the bird, literally, I have a picture too, bird, puff of feathers, head. I find it very funny.
 
A good hunting partner of mine goes moose hunting every year in Northern Ontario (we go deer hunting together and we have been friends for a long time).

Well like every moose season he goes off for a month out in the bush with his hunting party. Well 3 years ago he went hunting for moose like every November and he was feeling mother nature calling him so he unloaded his rifle and he went to do his bussince alittle away from were he was waiting. He doesnt till the last minute that 2 moose walked right from the far edge of the clearing towards him when they are 30 yards away. He was scared and he quicky loaded his rifle and got them both "cowboy" style shooting from the waist. :eek:

He even has one of the mooses racks still. Keeps it in his living room its huge :eek:

Dimitri
 
Several years ago, my dad and I went on a Mule Deer hunt in west texas at a college buddy of his's ranch. There was another guy there hunting as well. I have no idea who he was or where he was from, but from his actions, I would say East Texas. Anyway, we all returned around noon time from the morning hunt. The guy was alittle upset, but didn't want to say why. After awhile, and several people asking questions, he told us. Apparently, he had got ahold of something bad the day before. He was out walking that morning when mother nature called. So he found some bushes and dropped the coveralls that he was wearing. Only problem, he didn't get the coveralls completely out of the way and took a crap in them. He didn't relize it, so he finished his business, put the coveralls back on and continued hunting. Took him awhile to figure out why the smell kept following him around!!! :eek:
 
Similar story, But the guy, I hate to admit it, was a good friend of mine. Wearing a 1 piece zip up outfit, dropped a steaming pile in his hood. He didnt realize it till hours later back at camp. He just said he was glad it wasnt colder or he would have put that hood on.
~z
 
Not really a true hunting story, but here goes:

Last season my girl and I were half asleep, in our bed, at home, in her basement apartment in the city. My girlfriend gets up, and goes to the bathroom. When she came back, I asked her excitedly "Did you see any?" She looks left, looks right, then asks me "Um...see what?" To which I responded with an annoyed tone "D-E-E-R, what else??"

Hahahaha...talk about having deer on the brain...she laughed it off, but one day I know she's gonna get tired of my hunting obsession...
 
...she laughed it off, but one day I know she's gonna get tired of my hunting obsession...
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And you can bet that several years later, she'll bring this up :)

Well as promised, the second story: My dad had come home from 2 tours in Vietnam and before much time had passed it was deer season and my mom's friends wanted to take him hunting. He didn't have a rifle and had never hunted before, but someone loaned him a mosin nagant so he didn't object--no money out of his pocket. The nagants are the Russian surplus bolt action, five round in the clip gun.
They get out in the woods about a mile or so and split up a little. A small heard of deer come in range and before anyone can determine antlers my dad starts shooting. Well...no-one told him you could only shoot one deer and that it had to have antlers :o The cool but kinda not cool part is he got off all five rounds and anchored four deer. Ran toward the downed deer and attempted to reload while on the run for the others, but they quickly slipped away. Upon reaching the downed deer he noticed the first one was still moving and attempting the stand on shattered legs or shoulder so he gave the poor thing the nagant's metal but plate. Seemed very surprised when 2 blows didn't finish it off, so he ended up shooting it. I believe his words were something along the lines of 'they must be tougher than people.' The guys driving came up asking who was using a semi-automatic and there he stood with the bolt action nagant. :cool:
They had to field dress the deer and cover them because they were doe ended up going back after dark with flashlights to recover them. At least the venison didn't go to waste...
 
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A few years ago my Dad was hunting wild boar in Central California. My Dad likes to find a spot take a nap and wait for the pigs, sure enough one came by. When my Dad opened his eyes the pig was about 175 yards away so he shouldered the trusty .270 Weatherby and let him have it, one shot the pig dropped dead.

Dad drives the truck over to pick him up and he finds two dead pigs, they were standing side by side and the bullet went through the first and killed the second as well. :D
 
Chemist that was a funny story :D

5 bullets and 4 deer in under a minute that must be a record with a bolt action or even a semi auto without a scope :eek:

Dimitri
 
5 bullets and 4 deer in under a minute...
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Yep, that's impressive. I think it was a lot less than a minute. Owning one myself, I tend to think the shape of the bolt handle might make it easier to reload and the open sites for faster targeting--I don't think he used many scoped rifles in the military.
Anyway i got that story out of him when I told him I was buying a nagant. He proceeded to say they were junk, but then told me about his experience...I guess he thought they were junk because he didn't get all 5 deer--lmao. Now if he'd had the model 44, at least he wouldn't have had to shoot that wounded deer a second time :D
 
Two funny stories.

in the years of antler only seasons and NO doe tags bucks on public land were rare in parts of Minnesota...I had decided that having six guys standing in the 200 or 300 yards in front of my deer stand was not going to work so I climbed down and moved to the other side of the hill. fairly soon a buck starts walking toward me. Nice small 6 pt deer, I get all set to shoot him when i see him look over his shoulder and I peeked over nad there was a HUGE 10 pt deer walking up the hill too. I swung my gun over and took the shot, using a 7600 rem in 308. The buck stumbled and landed on both knees, but did not look like it was anchored so i popped it once more and it dropped to its side, maybe 4-6 seconds between shots, I looked over and the 6 pt was still standing there so I shot it, and it took off, two more shots and it fell just near the top of the hill laying against a log.

now this is on a hill side forested with all Oaks and a few basswood. no ground brush at all, so here laying on it are two deer plain as day. I sit stil make sure they both are dead and not scaring them into running and just waiting. fifteen maybe twenty minutes later i have finished my sandwich and hot cocoa, i pull my pack out and grab my knife and little saw and decide to get the job overwith. as I walk to the ten pointer I see another pumpkin suit walking over the hill to see me. I am no more than fifteen feet from the big deer and fifty yards from the second. he steps over the dead fall that the small deer was leaning against and stops a ways from me and asks "did you get one?" He was wearing a HUGE rambo style knife strapped across his chest and had a really shiny wood stocked weatherby with a HUGE scope on it... I look at him, the other deer, and then the one just behind him and say "nope he was running, just missed" I said. He was sort of confused and started to walk back and had just about stepped on the second deer when he stopped and shouted "you got one!!"
I kind of chuckled and said "yup," and he turns and reaching for the knife asks me if I needed any help gutting it and starts to pull out the big knife...Nope I say, "I need the practice" and walk over, he starts telling me all the different things i needed to do to "clean" the deer. at that time i used to use a little canadian pattern skiner about 3.5 inches long and by the time he was ready to tell me what i needed, I had finished the deer. i took out a stone and touched up the edge and said i can manage from here...walking away he walked within 10 feet of my big deer and never saw it...

second story, it was COLD about 5 above and it had rained and frozen the existing snow a few days before...we had decided to get some hot food for lunch so my brother was firing up the coleman stove, his brother in law was digging out the food and i was building a little fire to warm us up to.

all of a sudden the brother in law whispers loudly "DEER" and runs to get his rifle. i look up and there is a big deer with a runt rack just standing in the road looking at us....the brother in law gets about half way to his gun and slips and goes face down hard onto the frozen ground, my brother is trying to get his hands free and I am loading my rifle. brother in law grabs his rifle and trys to run around the Waggoneer and just as he gets to the road he slipps again and goes down this time butt first hard again spilling all his rounds from his hand in the process. Brother tries to get his marlin loaded stuffing rounds up the tube, decides to take a shot and thumbs hammer back and "click" nothing in the barrel. He tries to work the lever and somehow gets a doublestack jam. All this time deer is just standing there in the middle of the fireroad. I take my time and place the cross hairs on the chest and BLAM deer flops over dead on the road not a twitch not a kick just a dead deer. I am gloating and raising a rucus and i look at brother, in his haste to clear the double stack jam in his rifle he has really slit his finger badly. His brother in law is almost crying and he has a bloody eyebrow from falling the first time and he bit his lip on the second fall. NO one but me is very happy and all i can do is just gloat.


Walking to the deer, there is not a visible bullet hole I run my hand all over its chest and find nothing...till i lifted its head and finding that i had hit it in the eye and the bullet left out the opposite ear. Not a single hair on its head was touched just an in and out eye to ear. I pulled that shot about a foot and a half high....I have never lived that down they have lived down the falls and the cut
 
well after 30+ years of hunting with the gang that couldn't straight and elmer fudd there are many gut busters. One year in the early 80's while hunting upper vermont for 2 weeks with relatives of an aquaintence I discovered a group whose family tree had NO branches. The first incident was when the father of this group shot a 4 pt deer and had it hanging in his garage at his trailer. After showing us his deer he turned around and promptly walked into the half open garage door and knocked himself out.

The next day one of his sons was checking the safety on his rifle and shot the radiator of my friends van. We were staying in a cabin 2 miles in the woods on a powerline and the son showed up with a friend wearing white carpenter pants, and sneakers to hunt deer in 15 degree weather. Then another one tries to drive to the cabin in his blazer, gets stuck and all I could here was an engine screaming for 30 minutes until they buried it almost up to the window and had to crawl out. Found out after they burned up the tranny and had to have a farm tractor come pull it out and bring it to the road. During the night carpenter pants got up and tripped and fell and knocked the woodstove almost totally over, the stovepipe fell off and smoked us half to death. he had no cot and kept trying to get in our cots and let him lay next to them rather then the floor. When he got to me I pretended to be asleep, rolled over and knocked him off onto the floor, he ended up with the floor as his sleeping partner.

We had about a 25lb box of hotdogs (we got for free from a drive-in rest) outside as we had no fridge due to no electricity. I got back to the cabin to find a bear had gotten into them and ate 1/2. That night I had to go out to relieve myself and as I was in the process I heard a bunch of crashing very close to me and I ran back inside peeing as I went fearing the bear had returned for seconds! Then a game warden who had checked our license twice already stopped us on a mountain to check them yet again, it was a day of freezing rain and as he approached he fell on his a$$ and slid right past us. he then got up and as he walked by he said, you boys are OK and got in his truck and left. He had to know who we were as our van had a stovepipe coming out the roof for the oil burning stove the guy had inside.

I rarely break the speed limit, but driving back home to N.H. I averaged about 20 over most of the way, especially getting out of VERMONT!!!!!!
Some day I may get up the courage to cross the stateline again, but DONT count on it! I don't remember their last name but am now wondering if it was DEAN!
 
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one of my dads friends was partrige hunting and shot at one with a 410 and missed it flew so fast and hard it flew into a tree and died:D
 
Bear encounter

Just before whitetail season last year, I was scouting my favorite oak grove. I had found various tree rubs and several bedding areas. I decided to sit down and relax and enjoy the fresh mountain air, hoping I could see a few deer. I had just begun to go to my old blind when I heard the brush crackling, so I just stepped behind a briar thicket and squatted down. Well, to my surprise a big old black bear stepped into my path just about 10 feet from my concealed location. This big fella must have weighed at least 500 lbs. He was just lumbering along when he stops and looks right at me and then he sniffed the air, I know he was on to me being there. I wasn't scared but I was concerned due to the fact I only had a Gerber knife, hiking staff and cell phone. Just as was about to investigate me, a squirrel jumped from a tree above the bear, and I swear it looked said squirrel jumped on the bears head. Well this scared the bear away and he turned and went the opposite direction, he sounded like a D-8 bulldozer going off that ridge. I didn't know squirrels could be guardian angels.........

Doc
 
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