Here's another thing, one seldom thought of, but possibly making a difference in the "feel" (but not the energy). In a semi auto, other than the last round, you also have the force of the slide going
forward.
We all have felt that little "jar" in the hand when letting the slide run shut. That force is opposite the direction of recoil, and happens when the gun is still recoiling in our hands, so it has to have some effect on the perceived feel in the hand.
And its all about feel. This is most influenced by the design characteristics of the gun used, with the way your hands fit the grip being the other main factor.
Some times, the difference is subtle, sometimes not. One 9mm that I had, a Cobray M11/9, had more felt recoil than any other 9mm pistol I have shot, outside of the pocket size guns. The Cobray was big, & heavy, being the semi auto version of a SMG (Mac 10 style). Firing it with a normal grip, with its vertical grip, under the center of the gun, with a big, heavy bolt bouncing back and forth gave it more muzzle flip, and more felt force in the hand that the much lighter and smaller duty class pistols, (1911, HiPower, etc).
Energy in the guns was exactly the same, (same ammo) but the effect of the design on the
feel of the recoil was very noticeable.
Another example, many people say the 9mm has less "kick" than the .45ACP. Why is that? Taking the standard FMJ ball loading in both the energy of both is virtually identical (368ft/lbs +/-). And you can get them in the same guns (1911, Sig, etc.)
Something makes a difference in the feel, so people think its less. In my hands, the total amount either one jumps is the same, the 9mm just seems to get there "quicker". I don't think the 9mm recoils less, it just feels different. But, that's just me...