I recently had a routine encounter with an urban panhandler. Nothing happened, but I had an uneasy feeling afterward and realized that I had screwed up tactically in several ways. I'd welcome feedback from TFLers, even though some is likely to be critical.
It was about nine PM, and I was scanning the junk food offerings in a gas station/convenience store. I was carrying a Kahr .40 in a fannypack. This guy came out of the men's room behind me and mumbled some kind of greeting as he passed me, which I thought was odd. Then he went outside. When I got through paying, I left the store and started walking toward my car, which was parked alongside the building.
The guy who had walked out of the men's room was in front of me, walking toward the parked cars also. Then I noticed that he looked over his shoulder to see if I was following -- the impression that came to mind was that he was "following me from in front".
As I approached my car, this guy comes up to me and says "I come in peace, what's your name?"
In hindsight, my first mistake was in allowing him to get too close. This guy might have been streetwise enough to guess what was in the pack, and I was too close and in the wrong stance to react properly if he had grabbed for the "ripcord". He then starts his speech--"I'm not asking like I'm weak, or like you're weak, but I wonder if you could help me out...." This intro gives me the creeps. Then he claims that the car parked next to mine is his, and needs transmission fluid.
I did what most people do in this situation -- decided to buy some peace and quiet for a dollar or two. (This probably was mistake number 2.) I took out my wallet (mistake number 3), thinking I had a couple ones. Obviously, if he had been more aggressive it would have been entirely too easy for him to snatch my wallet. He might have chosen not to due to my size (5'11, 225) or the fannypack.
Anyway, no ones, so I gave him about $1 in pocket change, and got in the car while he was bitching about my lack of generosity.
In hindsight I feel uneasy for several reasons. I did not listen to my gut nearly enough about the way he was clearly positioning himself to "meet me" near the parked cars. I could have ended up looking down the barrel of a pistol instead of listening to his BS about transmission fluid. Many self-defense trainers suggest never letting a suspicious person get within 25 feet, and like many TFL'ers I have seen Ayoob's training video of the guys with the rubber knife closing 21 feet in 2 seconds. I should have either stopped in my tracks when I saw that I was being "headed off", or moved to get the cars between us.
In addition, I regret having given him money. I hate panhandling, but all too often I continue to subsidize it by giving money. Why do I do it? To buy the approval of some wino or crackhead?
Last but not least, I had a bad feeling about the guy. He was a big and fairly hard-looking guy, and I wonder if he would have done his "I come in peace" rap if I had been female or 75 years old. I should have called 911 and reported suspicious behavior. He may just have been wanted for something.
I just wanted to throw this out for other people to comment on or learn from.
It was about nine PM, and I was scanning the junk food offerings in a gas station/convenience store. I was carrying a Kahr .40 in a fannypack. This guy came out of the men's room behind me and mumbled some kind of greeting as he passed me, which I thought was odd. Then he went outside. When I got through paying, I left the store and started walking toward my car, which was parked alongside the building.
The guy who had walked out of the men's room was in front of me, walking toward the parked cars also. Then I noticed that he looked over his shoulder to see if I was following -- the impression that came to mind was that he was "following me from in front".
As I approached my car, this guy comes up to me and says "I come in peace, what's your name?"
In hindsight, my first mistake was in allowing him to get too close. This guy might have been streetwise enough to guess what was in the pack, and I was too close and in the wrong stance to react properly if he had grabbed for the "ripcord". He then starts his speech--"I'm not asking like I'm weak, or like you're weak, but I wonder if you could help me out...." This intro gives me the creeps. Then he claims that the car parked next to mine is his, and needs transmission fluid.
I did what most people do in this situation -- decided to buy some peace and quiet for a dollar or two. (This probably was mistake number 2.) I took out my wallet (mistake number 3), thinking I had a couple ones. Obviously, if he had been more aggressive it would have been entirely too easy for him to snatch my wallet. He might have chosen not to due to my size (5'11, 225) or the fannypack.
Anyway, no ones, so I gave him about $1 in pocket change, and got in the car while he was bitching about my lack of generosity.
In hindsight I feel uneasy for several reasons. I did not listen to my gut nearly enough about the way he was clearly positioning himself to "meet me" near the parked cars. I could have ended up looking down the barrel of a pistol instead of listening to his BS about transmission fluid. Many self-defense trainers suggest never letting a suspicious person get within 25 feet, and like many TFL'ers I have seen Ayoob's training video of the guys with the rubber knife closing 21 feet in 2 seconds. I should have either stopped in my tracks when I saw that I was being "headed off", or moved to get the cars between us.
In addition, I regret having given him money. I hate panhandling, but all too often I continue to subsidize it by giving money. Why do I do it? To buy the approval of some wino or crackhead?
Last but not least, I had a bad feeling about the guy. He was a big and fairly hard-looking guy, and I wonder if he would have done his "I come in peace" rap if I had been female or 75 years old. I should have called 911 and reported suspicious behavior. He may just have been wanted for something.
I just wanted to throw this out for other people to comment on or learn from.
Just suppose