This is the best, most cogent, article that I've seen dealing with nonverbal communication and positional dominance.
The following is an article written by Greg Hamilton. Greg is the founder of Insights Training Center (www.insightstraining.com) Make sure and visit their site.
Part One
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There are four categories of responses to any situation: Fight, Flight,
Freeze, or Communicate. Fight refers to life and death combat fighting not hierarchical I’m bader than you (see posturing.) Flight is just that running away. Freeze is the lack of any action, i.e. the inability to fight, flee, or posture. Lying on the ground, covering your head is not freezing it's communicating. Communication is the assumption of stances, movements, eye contacts, and verbal interactions to cause an effect upon the person you are communicating with.
Communication is manipulation.
We communicate with three postures.
There are three postures that are assumed by people: submissive, assertive, and aggressive. People attract attention because of the first and last. With the first it is obvious that you have no boundaries or you don't enforce your boundaries well. In the case of aggressiveness you are forcing your boundaries upon others. It's pretty obvious that if you have weak boundaries someone will test them. What doesn't seem as obvious is that if you project your boundaries too strongly you will also attract negative attention in the form of a hierarchical conflict. This model could be seen as a scale with
assertive being in the middle or as interlocking rings where each has some overlap with another, and all three overlapping in the center. You could also integrate the Parent-Adult-Child communication model with it. Everyone uses different postures depending as much on whom they are interacting with, as what the interaction is. Contrast your postures in the same situation with the actor changed from child to priest to female to male to homeless to rich.
Since it seem everyone on this list loves to make military analogies. I
would like to define camouflage: that which hides, blends, or deceives. In other words if you don't want to be a target, don't put out target
indicators or be noticed for any reason. Be like everyone else. Be part of the invisible mass. The invisible posture is assertiveness. Assertiveness is only about you, it doesn't compromise anyone else's boundaries or status. It is a live and let live posture. It is also a posture that says, "I don't compromise my boundaries or status. If you invade my boundaries I will be forced/will be glad to respond.” The difference between forced and glad to would depend on your position on the sub to aggress scale. Remember hide, blend, and deceive.
Military Target Indicators are defined as: movement, noise, contrast,
outline, and shine. Being submissive or aggressive is contrasting in daily life to everyone else.
As for eye contact, it will also be interpreted within the same model. If you avoid eye contact, or make short eye contact and then look down, this is submissive. On the other hand if you hold eye contact longer than it takes for the other person to see that you have seen them, that is aggressive. Assertive eye contact is just long enough that everyone knows that everyone knows. If you add in a nod or greeting to another hunter/meat eater and they respond, you have built some rapport and have set a bit of a truce. I.e. I see you, you see me, we are both dangerous, but we don't have a problem with each other. This is a tipping the head up nod, which is a nod of recognition. It can be used across wide distances and close up. Close up add in “how’s it going?” But even in a crowded bar if as you scan the surroundings you see someone looking at you and they don’t immediately look away submissively, add in this head nod, check for response, and then
casually look away to one sides or the other 45-90 degrees while checking that they are doing the same. Don’t keep looking at them and don’t turn your back on them immediately. Turning your back on people you are having a conversation with is considered rude. Wait until both sides have decided the conversations is over before turning your back. If the individual keeps staring you may have a problem. Either leave or find out for sure if you are the problem. They could just be staring into space or they are looking at someone in front of/ behind you. Move off the line of sight forward or backwards and casually follow their eye contact. If it continues: leave, fix the problem, or attempt to avoid it. I’m not big on leaving every time someone makes me uncomfortable (to submissive) On the other hand “Hey buddy, what’s your problem?” is to aggressive and will start a fight were one may have existed. So, either let it play out and see if it goes away (remember
it may just become camouflaged and come back when you’re not ready) or make an assertive contact. I.e. “Excuse me, I don’t know if I’ve done something to offend you, but I’ve got no problem with you.” Hands should be in between question mode and truce mode (elbows at sides, hands 10-12 inches apart, fingers spread, palms moving from facing in, to 45 degrees up, to 45 out, gesturing slightly to show relaxation.)
The following is an article written by Greg Hamilton. Greg is the founder of Insights Training Center (www.insightstraining.com) Make sure and visit their site.
Part One
---------------------------------------
There are four categories of responses to any situation: Fight, Flight,
Freeze, or Communicate. Fight refers to life and death combat fighting not hierarchical I’m bader than you (see posturing.) Flight is just that running away. Freeze is the lack of any action, i.e. the inability to fight, flee, or posture. Lying on the ground, covering your head is not freezing it's communicating. Communication is the assumption of stances, movements, eye contacts, and verbal interactions to cause an effect upon the person you are communicating with.
Communication is manipulation.
We communicate with three postures.
There are three postures that are assumed by people: submissive, assertive, and aggressive. People attract attention because of the first and last. With the first it is obvious that you have no boundaries or you don't enforce your boundaries well. In the case of aggressiveness you are forcing your boundaries upon others. It's pretty obvious that if you have weak boundaries someone will test them. What doesn't seem as obvious is that if you project your boundaries too strongly you will also attract negative attention in the form of a hierarchical conflict. This model could be seen as a scale with
assertive being in the middle or as interlocking rings where each has some overlap with another, and all three overlapping in the center. You could also integrate the Parent-Adult-Child communication model with it. Everyone uses different postures depending as much on whom they are interacting with, as what the interaction is. Contrast your postures in the same situation with the actor changed from child to priest to female to male to homeless to rich.
Since it seem everyone on this list loves to make military analogies. I
would like to define camouflage: that which hides, blends, or deceives. In other words if you don't want to be a target, don't put out target
indicators or be noticed for any reason. Be like everyone else. Be part of the invisible mass. The invisible posture is assertiveness. Assertiveness is only about you, it doesn't compromise anyone else's boundaries or status. It is a live and let live posture. It is also a posture that says, "I don't compromise my boundaries or status. If you invade my boundaries I will be forced/will be glad to respond.” The difference between forced and glad to would depend on your position on the sub to aggress scale. Remember hide, blend, and deceive.
Military Target Indicators are defined as: movement, noise, contrast,
outline, and shine. Being submissive or aggressive is contrasting in daily life to everyone else.
As for eye contact, it will also be interpreted within the same model. If you avoid eye contact, or make short eye contact and then look down, this is submissive. On the other hand if you hold eye contact longer than it takes for the other person to see that you have seen them, that is aggressive. Assertive eye contact is just long enough that everyone knows that everyone knows. If you add in a nod or greeting to another hunter/meat eater and they respond, you have built some rapport and have set a bit of a truce. I.e. I see you, you see me, we are both dangerous, but we don't have a problem with each other. This is a tipping the head up nod, which is a nod of recognition. It can be used across wide distances and close up. Close up add in “how’s it going?” But even in a crowded bar if as you scan the surroundings you see someone looking at you and they don’t immediately look away submissively, add in this head nod, check for response, and then
casually look away to one sides or the other 45-90 degrees while checking that they are doing the same. Don’t keep looking at them and don’t turn your back on them immediately. Turning your back on people you are having a conversation with is considered rude. Wait until both sides have decided the conversations is over before turning your back. If the individual keeps staring you may have a problem. Either leave or find out for sure if you are the problem. They could just be staring into space or they are looking at someone in front of/ behind you. Move off the line of sight forward or backwards and casually follow their eye contact. If it continues: leave, fix the problem, or attempt to avoid it. I’m not big on leaving every time someone makes me uncomfortable (to submissive) On the other hand “Hey buddy, what’s your problem?” is to aggressive and will start a fight were one may have existed. So, either let it play out and see if it goes away (remember
it may just become camouflaged and come back when you’re not ready) or make an assertive contact. I.e. “Excuse me, I don’t know if I’ve done something to offend you, but I’ve got no problem with you.” Hands should be in between question mode and truce mode (elbows at sides, hands 10-12 inches apart, fingers spread, palms moving from facing in, to 45 degrees up, to 45 out, gesturing slightly to show relaxation.)