Any handgun bought for carry must be expected to experience the consequential holster wear and grip dings and scratches, but, for me, it's hard to contemplate the idea of a nice new sidearm (or any tool for that matter) being marred until it finally happens, then it becomes easy to accept. After that point, if it's a cherished tool, one can fantasize about how to refinish it and what grips to dress it with, a fantasy that can realistically come true, because refinishing isn't prohibitively expensive (gold plating aside).
As to the thought of losing one's sidearm to the authorities in the aftermath of a shooting incident, I think the only reasonable course of action is to own at least two carry handguns, one of which is kept at home in case the carried piece is confiscated. That way you always have a gun to carry, which may well be more important after a shooting where you might be in further danger from revenge seekers.