The difference is a reloader plays by the book, loads exactly what the book says to, and turns out as many rounds as possible in the shortest amount of time, without worrying about 20% of the loads being off a little, or the bullets not seating the same. A handloader is someone who works up their own loads, for specific guns, and meticulously measures each and every round for powder weight, case length, and cartridge length.
I like your definition of the difference and I would have to say that my work at the bench sounds similar to yours, or at least seems like we see it in a similar fashion. I will also add that in a LOT of years of handloading and researching handloading, I've never seen a difference between the terms clearly defined... For my own use, I've always thought of a "reloader" as a person who does it because they
have to and a "handloader" as a guy that is deeply involved in the hobby of it and does it because he really, really wants to, for any of a dozen different reasons.
I'm one of those guys who if he couldn't shoot any more, would probably find a way to keep handloading. I know there are many like me.
When I started reloading, I would have considered myself a beginning
reloader. I loaded one thing -- .38 Special. I had
one powder, used dippers and had no scale. Had no brass tumbler. I used
one bullet,
one brand of primers. I was really taking the same 250 pieces of .38 Special brass and re-loading that brass.
I got in to reloading not to save money... my Mom was paying my ammo budget and she began paying my reloading expenses, also. I was 16, with no internet and no mentor. My complete knowledge base was a Speer #11. My Dad had passed away and I began reloading because I wanted to learn more about the reloading I had been reading so much about in the magazines. It began as a hobby that also resulted in a consumable product.
These days, it's a hobby that's something I enjoy as much/more than shooting. 17 different calibers... some much, much more than others, of course. There are some rifle rounds that I handload a couple of times in a calendar year... but my handgun stuff is a constant process and I'm always doing something in those chamberings.
Still loading single stage, these days on a Lee Classic Cast. I've burned through about 5,000 primers since Thanksgiving. That's at least twenty thousand pulls on that lever.
For you folks that don't reload, but would like to, or would like to talk to handloaders face to face -- just look for the guys on the range with plastic flip-top boxes. That's a dead giveaway to someone that handloads. Either that, or look for guys who buy 4 or 8 pound jugs of smokeless powder at the gun store.