Pond, James Pond "Am I being unrealistic about what I should expect any pocket/snub gun to be capable of? "
In terms of durability or power?
Here is some chrono data I've collected over time (average for 5 shots)
In ascending order of power:
Ruger LCP: 90 gr. Hydra-Shok @ 878 fps / 154# KE
Ruger LCP: 95 gr. Ranger T @ 876 fps / 162# KE (This is a hot 380 load)
S&W 442 (Mag-Na-Ported) Winchester 110 Silvertip @ 821 fps / 165# KE
S&W 442 (Mag-Na-Ported) Winchester PDX 130 gr. +P @ 848 fps/ 207# KE
The 380 achieved 78-93% of the power produced by the ported 38 snub depending on load.
Glock 26: Winchester Ranger T 124 gr. +P @ 1,162 fps / 372# KE
Glock 27: Winchester Ranger T 165 gr. @ 1,071 fps / 420# KE
Glock 33: Winchester Ranger T 125 gr. @ 1,280 fps / 454# KE
The Glock 27 and 33 are capable of delivering over double the power (KE) of the 38 snub even when it's loaded with +P.
However, there is a compromise in size and power that is pocket carry material.
I had a Kahr PM9, probably should have kept it; I had likely fired over 500 rounds through it (mostly +P) which doesn't qualify as long term durable, but anyway...
Kahr PM9 with the hottest loads I chronographed:
Winchester Ranger T 124 gr. +P @ 1,094 fps / 329# KE
Federal 115 gr. +P+ @ 1,149 fps / 337# KE
Cor-Bon 115 gr. +P @ 1,215 fps / 377# KE
The PM9 may or may not have long term durability, but it is pocketable and can deliver over 300# KE with the right load.