This thread was started a year ago and just revived. Interesting comments so far.
A home invasion happened very near to my home, and I live in a nice gated community. It is still accessible to the public, but license plates are taken down and recorded by video. My community is connected to an even nicer community where there are multi-million dollar homes. So for T. O'Heir's comment's, we can't all afford to live on Star Island or Tahiti Beach. As for the statistics he quoted, I guess we don't need to carry guns either.
As for MTT TL, I'm not sure that it is wise to post online that your children had guns in their own rooms at 12 years old. That is against the law in most states as it violates
safe storage requirements.
On to the actual question at hand... What to do in a home invasion if your wife and kids are in different rooms. That would really depends on the situation. The incident that occurred in my neighborhood involved several intruders. The homeowner was doing some work outside of his house and left the garage door open. The intruders entered the garage door and grabbed the first person they saw, which was one of the kids. Kids are a lot easier to control so it was probably a calculated move on their part. They marched the parents around the house collecting valuables and then tied them up. The reality is there probably wasn't much that could have been done at that time. The lesson is to always close the garage door and make sure you are armed at all times.
There are so many scenarios that leave one with few options other than compliance. Imagine if you are just walking around the neighborhood with the family and a couple of guys drive up brandishing weapons. They tell you to get in the car and hold your kid at gun point. Are you going get into a gun fight in the middle of the street with your family in the crossfire?
So back to the home invasion scenario. If you hear a loud noise and the alarm goes off, what do you do? I have a pistol in a quick access safe right next to my bed. I would grab that first and move towards my kids' rooms. All of our rooms are on the same side of the house. You have to determine if the intruder has already passed your room based on your home's layout. I would move as quickly as possible to the kids rooms and listen for the intruder. If the intruder has not reached their rooms yet, then grab the kids, and have them follow you back to the safe room. Hopefully the wife has grabbed the home defense shotgun or rifle and you barricade in that room. If the intruder(s) have reached the kids' rooms, you have to decide if it is safer to engage or to comply. That is a highly personal decision that is based on the circumstances and your skill level.
I don't think there is some broad "one size fits all" solution.