A S&W 360PD w/ CT for everyday carry - meets the OP's criteria for small/light enough that it WILL be carried, it is reliable, powerfull enough, etc. I still shoot up a box of my carry ammo (buffalo bore 158gr low flash/recoil tactical) during range visits just so I know what to expect. I continue practice with a S&W 637 w/ CT shooting WWB just to hone skills. The 360 is a hand smacker - but if you practice good grip skills, it is very controllable. I never want to have to use it - but should there be no other options - I have every confidence that I would be able to deploy and use the little handgun without worrying whether it is going to hurt my hand!? Anyone that is concerned about controllability, recoil pain, second shot, whatever - you might be best advised to move on to a different weapon system. The last thing you would want to be concerned about in a SHTF situation is whether the recoil is going to hurt.