Buying new guns and staying out of the doghouse

Tinbucket

New member
How do you bring a new treasure into the gun case without the wife's knowing or seeing the bill etc without serving some nights in the dog house?
 
I just make sure it isn't once a month, and shooting is well established as my hobby with my wife. If it doesn't screw with household budget or vacation funds, we are good. In fact my wife bought me my last gun for Christmas.

She is not for sale or otherwise available, I'm keeping her.
 
Years ago I started putting my spare cash into what I call my 'bullet fund'. By "spare", I mean dribs and drabs of change, profits from selling something of mine, doing a quick side-job, buying something cheap with a quick profit in-mind, etc. The 'fund' has grown into a few grand, and I try and add to it when possible. That is the source of all my gun purchases, and I don't have to ask for permission or disclose any of my financial dealings. Guilt is never an issue.
If you can get one started, and keep it going, it helps keep both your hobby and marriage alive!

An added benefit is that she has no clue how many guns I actually have. I think she guessed 15 a couple of years ago. It was all I could do to keep from choking! I did get an odd look the other day when making shooting plans with my son. I actually said that I would bring "one of my AKs" before I caught myself. Ooops.
 
Years ago I started putting my spare cash into what I call my 'bullet fund'. By "spare", I mean dribs and drabs of change, profits from selling something of mine, doing a quick side-job, buying something cheap with a quick profit in-mind, etc

Exactly; add throwing my loose change every day in a bowl and then cashing it in. As often as possible with small bills or the change get it back in the form of $100 bills as I am less likely to break them and thus keep it in my gun fund. Amazing how much you can save when you quit smoking, cut back on going out or eating out or drinking.
 
What new guns? Don't ask, Don't tell.

Since I do most of the grocery shopping, I always pull an extra 20 or 40 cash out when I pay. That money gets put into one of my gun safes for "future use"
 
No need to hide anything for me. She merely says 'do you need another one?'. Followed by ' just make sure you use it'.
 
Been happily divorced for 11 years. If I have the money and I want it I buy it. If my kids want to start complaining about the guns I buy they can start paying the bills. Probably will not happen, my youngest daughter tries to talk me into buying more guns. Probably because she will end up with most of them someday.
 
I try and buy a bigger one each time just so shell tell me "that's too big". After I hear this the doghouse is worth it:D. Seriously she makes money all her own and so do I and we each have spending money as long as bills get paid and we don't come up short.
 
Take an empty gun case with you. When asked, tell her you’re selling one. Return with new gun. When asked, tell her the guy backed out of the deal so you brought it back home.
 
I don't have a wife, my girlfriend loves guns and doesn't care if I spend my whole paycheck on one. She owns her home and i own mine so no fighting over the bills either.

I guess what I'm saying is; Girlfriends are better than wives, once you put a ring on her she will try to control you, a girlfriend wont because she cant.

I'm never getting married(again) LOL! :D
 
My wife has never complained about anything I've bought, and as a matter of fact she bought the last gun purchased
 
The answer to the question starts with marrying (if you choose to do so) the right kind of person. Some things are just plain deal breakers, either for her or for you.
 
Agreed. And for a lot of people, routinely being lied to by a spouse, especially about something as important as where joint funds (grocery money, for example) are going, would be a deal-breaker right there. :cool:
 
The answer to the question starts with marrying (if you choose to do so) the right kind of person. Some things are just plain deal breakers, either for her or for you.

This ^.

And has been added, lying to a spouse is a big no-no. Shrug. Golden Rule time...would you like it if they lied to you?
 
I might add that I think BOTH people in a marriage should have some of their 'own' money that they can spend however they wish. Having to go hat-in-hand to the other for every purchase seems like it would get very old very fast-kind of like having to continually justify your existence-you really shouldn't have to do it.
 
My wife said she doesn't like when I come home with expensive things without discussing it with her first. She's been saying that for years and I've been listening up until recently. I came home with a gun a few days ago and she saw the credit card charge before I was able to tell her about it. I'm new to gun ownership but have bought 3 guns in the last three months...she thought something broke loose in my brain until I explained myself. The reason I'm stocking up on guns? She wants to move to CA (where her family is)...that means I'm going to be giving up gun rights, but I won't tell her she can't live near family. So I plan to stock up before we move. I told her to imagine herself in my place, with her having to give up the chance of carrying (CCW or open carry), giving up the chance of buying a non-approved CA gun, giving up the freedom of going into a gun shop and coming home with it half an hour later. I told her I've a list of eight (8) guns that I want to get before we move, as I won't have the chance to buy them via retail once we're in CA. None of those guns break the bank by themselves. Then I spoke of her occasional trips to the local casino...I reminded her that I never ask how much money she's spent but I bet I can buy at least two decently priced handguns with the money she's spent. I'm a car guy as well, and I like to modify my vehicles (I do a little autocross too)...CA has ridiculous EPA laws and their gas is crap...I'll be giving up modifying my car and won't tune on their crap pump gas.

She now understands that I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing and why. I've been married 20 years to a military veteran. That means I've been both a mother and father to my kids whenever she deployed. I'd been a home father for at least 4 years (because I had to), with my wife deploying and me being a new father. I work my butt off for the family and don't ask for anything in return (a proper husband and father wouldn't, IMO). Now, every person needs some type of hobby. My hobbies are tooling on cars and (now), shooting and gun ownership...it seems I've to be extremely limited on both of those fronts in this move. It sucks, but it can make a bit of a difference if I can get the guns on my list before we move, so that's what I'm going to do.

There's no dog house in my yard. We discuss things and if I feel strongly about doing something, I'm probably going to do what I think is right. I've been on the other end of such things as well, where she wants something expensive and I don't and it works out for her...it can work for me as well. :)
 
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How do you bring a new treasure into the gun case without the wife's knowing or seeing the bill etc without serving some nights in the dog house?

When she walks into the house I say, "Got a new xxxx today." Her response is generally, "Great! When do you want to go shooting?"

She has nine guns of her own, and shoots action pistol & action revolver. We don't have a problem with new guns.
 
My wife is not a shooter. She is not anti-gun by any means as she sees their importance in defense (she has her CCW and did it without me), exercising 2A rights, and she loves venison and wild waterfowl. But she does not enjoy them as hobby like I do, and she thinks that once you have a carry gun, HD weapon, and a gun to hunt with, why do we need more?

But she also respects and loves me, and understands that I enjoy shooting as one of my two hobbies (I am a huge golfer as well, another "not-cheap" hobby).

As such, I have never hidden a single gun purchase from her, or deceived her on how much they cost. I do not seek permission beforehand either. But I am also not sacrificing funds that should be spent elsewhere. If all the bills have been paid at the end of the month and we have put the agreed upon minimum into the various savings accounts/retirement funds/etc., and there is some extra cash left, I will pull some of it aside. After a couple months if I have enough for the gun I want, I will go buy it, or go stock up on reloading components, or go buy that new putter that will finally save my golf game. Conversely, I do not get upset when she comes home with that new handbag or a bottle of wine that costs as much as a surplus Mosin.

We both work hard, and we make pretty much the same amount of money, so money issues are never really an issue for us. We both recognize the need for limited independence from each other, whether that be financial or just time away doing something we enjoy without the other person.

We are expecting our first child in 10 weeks, so I would imagine that a lot of that "disposable income" will be re-allocated, but we plan on the principle not changing. It may take me 6-8 months to save up for a new gun instead of 3, but life is a series of trade-offs, right?

In the end, it comes down to trust. We both know and trust that the other would never do anything that would put us in a precarious situation, and we are open and honest about it at all times.
 
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