hmmm, even with .357mag? I guess i should hav mentioned i had a .357mag j-frame in mind with this. I'd expected everyone to suggest some kind of .38+p for range and 2legs, and maybe a .357 for 4legs? Iknow, I shouldn't be trying to do it all with one weapon, but my wallet dictates otherwise
You have the .357mag j-frame in mind? Do you have one or do you plan to get one?
I ask, because if you need to find a "one gun fits all" sitiuation for a while, I don't think the J-frame is the best choice. If you don't already own it, you may want to consider something else.
First, if you don't have a lot of revolver experience it is not the best place to start. Recoil out of a J-frame snub can be a bit much for many people, even with .38+P. It is better to build your way up to it. Also, a 2" J-frame snub is one of the hardest guns to become proficient with, many people have trouble getting accuracy down with these so practice is important (and with the recoil many don't want to do the practice).
Second, while a great concealment weapon, it is niche specific and not nearly as good for other needs. The short sight radius and small size means it is harder to aim well under stress. The lightweight limits the power of ammo you'll be able to really handle (limiting you in "critter" defense). Also, the recoil will limit your range time which you need to get good with it.
Last, there are much better options for a "one gun for all options" kind of gun.
If you haven't already bought your gun I'd strongly suggest a K-frame S&W, Taurus or a used Ruger Security Six/Speed Six (the new GP100 is a bit big). In a 2 1/2" or 3" barrel these guns are highly concealable and quite handy and pointable and just light enough for comfortable OWB or IWB concealment. They are a bit heftier and heavier so they can handle much more powerful ammo (.357mag loads are pretty comfortable in my 3" S&W 65LS) and you will find it easier to spend more time at the range practicing. Heck, many/most people can conceal a 4" K-frame pretty easily (especially IWB). The only real disadvantage v. the J-frame is they aren't "deep concealment guns" so no pants pockets and other than the 2 1/2" (maybe the 3") probably no ankle carry.
If you are set on a 2" J-frame sized gun I'd strongly suggest the Ruger SP101 as it is heavier than the Taurus and S&W version. It is only 1oz heavier than the Taurus and 2oz heavier than the S&W, but this light that little numerical difference makes a huge practical difference. Many people consider this the minimum gun if you are going to actually try to shoot magnums out of it.
As for loads-
Practice- Occasionally use the carry load, but most practice is wadcutters, reloads (my own) and/or the cheapest FMJ I can find (usually WWB).
Home defense/CCW- With a 2" J-frame sized snub you are best off with LSWC-HP (lead semi-wadcutter hollow points), or one of the newer JHPs that have good results with snubs (like the 135gr Speer Gold Dot). I prefer .38+P over .357mag for defense (quicker follow up shots, lower noise and less flash). With a 2 1/2" or 3" K-frame you have a little more flexibility, though I usually go with the same selections. With a 4" K-frame you could use pretty much any quality HP you want.
Animal defense/hunting- A 158gr, .357mag JSP or hardcast lead. However, the recoil of these in a 2" J-frame will be much too stout (you may barely be able to handle them in a Ruger SP101, they'll be stout but fine in a K-frame).