If you can find a reputable professional that will give her some basic instruction and help her to try some different options, that would be ideal. Since that isn't always a viable option, use this as an excuse to get together with some gun-owning friends. If these friends are men, have them bring their wives, girlfriends, daughters, or whatever. Everyone can have fun trying out different stuff, especially with reactive targets like water bottles, milk jugs, etc.
See, you know a little about how she feels with respect to weight, width, and recoil. At least find out what kind of trigger she likes (SA, DA, DA/SA, hammer or striker). That will give you the best starting point. Also consider the end point if you miss. It wouldn't hurt to consider options where your interests intersect. It will make your life easier (and better) just in case she doesn't like it.
As far as the suggestions so far, this is a good family to start looking at:
Walther P99 has several nice backstraps, the PPQ is even more sculpted. If she's thinking of carrying, a PPS M2 might be a good choice.
The P99 is relatively compact for a full-sized high-capacity handgun. Recoil isn't bad with standard-pressure ammo, though it is more noticeable than it would be in a bigger or heavier gun. They are very durable and nicely contoured for carry. I only ever see the "AS" models these days, which nicely emulate DA/SA sans hammer. Compared to DA/SA guns, the P99 has a pretty good trigger right out of the box.
The PPS has the normal striker-fired operation, akin to a single-action. This one also has a good trigger right out of the box. The different magazine lengths have different grip extension lengths. This allows not only for different carry methods but for an additional grip accommodation. The longest one makes the PPS behave and feel like a full-sized gun, despite being thin and petite. (For some people, that
is full size.) The little gun handles 9mm recoil exceptionally well for its size class.