I've really grown to appreciate my SD9VE. I'm not a huge polymer pistol fan, but when my back is hurting it beats carrying nothing at all.
I really have no complaints. Feeds everything I put in the mags, from cheap steel case Wolf and Tula to Gold Dots and HST. Runs flawlessly. Feels MUCH better in my hand than say, the Glock 19 with which it is most often compared. The trigger was gritty at first, but now it is actually fairly smooth. It is still spongy (hey, it's striker fired), but the break is fairly clean so all in all after a 500 to 1,000 cycles of the trigger, it breaks in to be a decent, shootable trigger.
The weight never bothered me in the least. So I won't be messing with any apex kits. And I much prefer the hinged trigger safety to the Glock and XD sharp dingle berry - but I know some are the other way around so like anything else its personal preference.
Yeah, the polymer is shiny so it comes across as cheap to some extent. The matte finish of Glock's polymer appears to be higher end - but probably isn't - in much the same way the S&W Model 28 had a less costly, more utilitarian finish compared with the Model 27 - the function was every bit the same. I put talon grips on mine so it won't win any beauty contests either way
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If you are fine with the trigger and it feels good in the hand, I really see no reason to spend the extra $$$ on a Glock or XD. Technically, depreciation may be better percentage wise on the SD9VE too. New they are under $300 in my area, and they seem to only drop about $75 into the low $200s used. Glocks and XDs start at around $575, but they drop to around $400-ish in my area used (about a $175 to $200 decrease in value).