Anxeity at Shooting

1) Make sure her ear protection is adequate. Plugs AND muffs, preferably electronic so she can hear instructions.

2) Take her to an outdoor range. I've been shooting for more than 40 years and I sometimes find an indoor pistol range uncomfortable. Not so much that I don't go, mind you, but enough so that I can see how it might be intimidating for a beginner.
 
I have a similar question. My girlfriend is afraid of guns. Doesn't like thinking about them or looking at them. She fired one once but doesn't remember it very well and was fine then.

Her dad has a couple including a rifle, shotgun, and Glock .40 but they are all in a safe disassembled and nobody else knows the combination. She has never seen her dad's. She's never been in an incident where they were used in a negative way, as far as I'm concerned.

She does have anxiety that I believe to be the result of a house fire that she was somewhat responsible for when she was about 13 and has not dealt with since.

Anyways, as I'm turning 18 soon I will be getting a gun and will be keeping it in my car sometimes (this is the closest thing I can legally get to CC for some years and I accept I will have to take responsibility for some risks). I've told her of this and as much as she dislikes it she doesn't want it to be in the car without an idea of how to safely handle it. I agree with this.

Anyways, the question is trying to figure out how to make this happen. It will be a CZ 75 of some sort so I could probably get the Kadet .22lr conversion that would help. However, she does have fairly strong anxiety. She went with us to a gun show once and had a bad time because all of the guns around intimidated her and made her scared. When we showed her a couple of our rifles (straight from the store, never loaded, safeties on and muzzles in a safe direction) she declined to touch them and got tense until they were taken out of the room.

She also has a fear of explosive noises. The house fire was caused by her flipping the water heater too fast, causing a spark which ignited some gasoline her dad just spilled in the garage. The first thing that happened was the car exploding. Since then even fireworks scare her. I am afraid it will be a challenge even getting her to the shooting bay, as she's described to me in the past hearing a shooting range from a half mile away and said it made her nervous and she doesn't understand how anyone can be OK with or enjoy that.

It's not about self defense, I disagree with anyone carrying a gun who's not 100% willing to use it and accept the responsibility. It's about learning to safely and somewhat comfortably handle a gun, clear it, and possibly even fire it if need be, but really just to hopefully become slightly more comfortable knowing how it works. Even if I start with the .22 the goal will be eventually to fire 9mm ammo.

What do you guys suggest? I'm definitely not an armchair or range commando of any sort and I don't have an intimidating presence. I don't know if she'd be more comfortable learning from me or an instructor.
 
Best advice from my experience is for the husband to back away for awhile and get her to an introductory course for guns, women only class. Best classes I ever taught because there were no preconceived notions about how they should do what like you get with mens groups. Just the women. a table full of small handguns and the only powder burnt was my demonstration of the difference between pistol shotgun rifle and black powder being burnt in an ashtray. By the time the first 2 hours was up there were a thousand questions most of which most men would never consider asking.

Again on the range the targets were close large and reactive, balloons, some of them water balloons. No men except me a pastor from their church and a whole mess of women with no pressure. Had to slap the preachers hands a couple of times because he wanted to clear jams and insert stubborn magazines, (stubborn because they were loaded backwards). I made them clear it themselves by explaining what the problem was and then step by step talked them through it. They didn't know me from Adam and had no issues in trying to please me because there was no personal relationship.

If I would have had the time and the guns available I would have started them on air rifles but it worked out fine. The gal who expressed the most trepidation in class asked about joining the club because she had so much fun and couldn't wait to do it again. Baby steps and no pressure caused by trying to please a significant other or compete with each other.
 
Maybe a shooting range has too many people and too much going on to introduce some people to shooting. It would have been best to have introduced her starting out with an air rifle in the back yard and than a trip to the back country for some calm 22 shooting and slow fire plinking.
 
There may be another aspect to this as well. When I was younger I had very good hearing and what I can only call "woods sense" that made me pretty attuned to my surroundings. I could "feel" what was going on around me in the woods because of it. I'm positive that some of you country boys at least know exactly what I'm talking about. Part of the reason I'm not at all fond of cities is the constant noise.

The first time I was forced to go to an indoor range was horrible. The sound was not only overwhelming, I could feel the concussion from some of the rounds all the way through me. Distasteful and unpleasant didn't really cover it. I depended on my hearing as much as my sight, it was like I was suddenly blinded by bright lights. Because at that point I didn't have an alternative, I did go back, and it got easier each time I did. I still don't like indoor ranges all that much. If she is built like I was I could see that sort of reaction easily.

The solution is simple and has been offered above. Do. Not. Go. Back.

Buy a nice air rifle that fits her. Start her out in a place where it is quiet and non threatening. Move up to .22 rifles to keep the muzzle blast not just small but away from her.

These measures are to ease her over the damage not because it is really needed in and of itself. Once she's over that she should be good to go.

Once I was used to .22's, which didn't take long, I was Okay with other rounds pretty quickly.
 
Na,,, Just haul her out into the country where it's nice and quiet.

Don't ask her if she want's to shoot, not like a question.

Tell her, "If you are going to learn to shoot, here is your chance to start".

She'll say "ok" or she'll back out.

Don't make a production of it. If she says OK, then put the ear muffs on her, load the gun, put it on safe, hand it to her and see that she is pointing it somewhere safe.

Have her take it off safe. And tell her to squeeze.

It will make the good noise, she will jump a little, and what you are looking for is a little surprise and a smile. Let her shoot all she wants just off at a tree or into a berm.

Next time she will be ready for a range and some serious learning.

Sometimes all the talking does is heighten the anxiety. She just needs the experience first, she needs to see for herself that the bang isn't so bad, but she also needs to see you attentive to her reaction, supportive of any decision.

But don't ask women straight question, "do you want?" They don't always like questions like that, lead them to it, the offer is plain to see, she will go with how she feels and she will feel her way to what she wants. If she feels pushed she'll resist so just leave the door open and see what she does.
 
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