afraid of guns

C

chink

New member
I was hanging out with a friend who has never shot before, but has expressed a great deal of interest in shooting. My 1911 was in my trunk and she wanted to see it, so I brought it into her house. As I taking back to my car (I was gonna run about couple wet patches through, but let my patches at home) some friends showed up. The guys were all cool with it, but the chick was scaried. Basically grimaced as us 3 guys talked about the guns.

Long setup for a short question
How do I change her mind about guns?

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It ain't mah fault. did I do dat?
 
If she is close (i.e. girlfriend, good friend or someone ya wanna keep around for awhile)..take her shooting...not with a big bore. Don't be macho as this is a process....take a .22.

I've noticed that non-shooters who lean towards gun fear and dislike (male and female) are skittish by noise,recoil and nasty looking firearms.

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"
 
I too am afraid of guns, but not as much as I was a few months ago. My advice to you would be to educate her about them. I also think that going to a range would help ease the fear. My husband has idiotic friends that scared me also, but they pointed it at me so it was a little different than you situation. I took it upon myself to learn more about them and listen to those who own them. It helps to know about them , lessens the fear! Good luck!
 
Good advice so far. IMO, it is very important that you DO NOT push her at all. In a round-about way, it needs to be her idea.

Maybe arrange for a small group of mutual friends to meet at the range and casually ask her if she'd like to "join the rest of us".

Good luck, be patient.

CMOS
 
Some people just plain don't like guns... but that doesn't mean they need to be treated as the "enemy" or that we should make it our goal to make them like guns. Understanding and respect is all we need. I don't like beenie-babies! I don't want to listen to someone drone on for hours about the wonderfullness of beenie-babies and I sure as hell don't want to be dragged down to some beenie-babie show. That said, I can understand that some people have good reasons for liking them and I can let them enjoy their hobby in peace.

Like CMOS and DC said, be patient and leave the macho thing at home. Too often when I see a non-gun person ask a gun owner about them, the conversation quickly turns to what a .45 cor-bon can do to tissue or about tyranical governments and such. That can come later ;). I like to talk about the "fluffy" aspects of gun ownership to newbies. Relaxation (my doctor recommended the sport), family togetherness, heritage, etc. I know it kinda sounds like the "Mr. Rogers" approach but it tends to make people more curious than defensive. It often opens the door to intelligent conversation rather than a state of mutual disgust.

I hope at least some of that made some sense as I'm not too sure myself. Best of luck.
 
I used to have some neighbors that were scared of guns, back when I lived in an apartment building. They'd drop by every once in a while, and I'd be cleaning a stack of firearms, guns lying on the couch, etc. Small apartment.

Anyway, at first these neighbors didn't even want to come in, just from seeing the guns. I simply showed them how to properly handle a firearm, so they could move the guns out of their way. We would chat briefly about how fun shooting was, then on to other subjects. Within weeks one neighbor was asking to go shooting, .22s only. She had a wonderful time, told the others, next thing you know I'm the official firearm instructor and supplier for an entire floor of an apartment building.

I recommend tin cans or gongs as newcomers want to see some reaction to their good shots. Hell, so do I.
 
Miss Demeanors,
"My husband has idiotic friends that scared me also, but they pointed it at me..."

I know you mentioned that before but it still bothers me. (an unusual understatement)

Ma'am, none of my friends would even MENTION such a thing in jest! Suggesting it would mean, "We're gonna FIGHT now!" Consciously pointing a gun at my wife, even a "known to be unloaded" gun, could get them shot without warning. My friends know that, and feel the same. I would bet money I had to borrow that most TFLers feel the same way.

I'm sure y'all know where I'd like to go with this, but out of courtesy to you I'll let it drop.

Seething Grump!

[This message has been edited by Dennis (edited July 06, 1999).]
 
Dennis, I know that not all people that own guns do that. I realize it is not normal, but if you knew them, they are not normal human beings! I am not as afraid as they think I am anymore by learning about them I dont have as much fear. So I think the best thing for Chink to do is start educating her first! ;)
 
Anti-gunners are quite odd...

My best friend and roomie back in grad school is anti-gun....but (a way big but!)

She loves to shoot .22 (10/22) and wants to do it everytime she visits. She isn't a vocal, nor zealot anti-gunner...more like...if she knows and approves of the gunowner ;). She won't touch any of my handguns, but she adores that 10/22. She has gotten used to and doesn't freak about the 1911 in my purse anymore. As a result her hubby thanked me cuz she "allowed" him to get one. But, she is so much a better shot than he is LOL

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"



[This message has been edited by DC (edited July 06, 1999).]
 
Let me clear this up. She isn't exactly an anti. she didn't express any anti gun opinions, she just didn't feel comfortable being in the same room as the 1911.

Its hard getting people who are afraid of guns to touch guns and I know that the 1911 isn't the first thing they should shoot.
anyone know of any good inexpensive .22 conversion kits for a 1911 and an ar-15?
 
Chink, There aren't any "cheap and good conversions" It's kind of like other things, start em out slow and easy and... You know, like T Ball. Jump on me if you must but a Ruger 10-22 for a rifle "auto you know, just for the thrill" and a Ruger MK II pistol are great beginnings in this day and age.
Be honest, teach them well, do not force and many will become your friends!
Teach as well as you can, every time you can!
Hank
 
In addition to DC's excellent suggestions, it's important to remember that there are a whole lot of people out there of both genders who have no notion of how firearms work beyond what they see on the tube - which is mainly loud things going BOOM!, violent recoil and buckets of blood.

A lot of uniformed people actually consider ammo explosive.

One thing that can be done for those with a true fear of guns & ammo but who have an open mind is to start with the very, very basic stuff: A round. Even better, start with the components of a round of ammo all laid out. A primer, case, a powder charge and bullet.

Explain the job of each component, and how each works together, and demonstrate how each component is benign until they are put together properly and the resulting energy is DIRECTED.

Then's it's time to go over how the energy is controlled through proper gun handling including loading and unloading, familiarity with actions and the four rules of gun safety.

All this should be done before ever firing a round with a newbie. I know it's not as much fun as taking your gun-scared friends out handing .44s and 12 guages and saying "Here, try this!" - And of course no one here would ever do such a thing.

But the time spent in function and nomenclature education goes a long, long way towards allowing people who were afraid of guns to realize that guns are really just fascinating bits of benign machinery.

Remove the fear up front, instill the proper respect, and give the hoplophobes an opportunity to find out just how much fun shooting can be.

Sure beats golf!
 
shortcut is on to something, IMHO. I had an instructor who told us about a female student of his who was very frightened about guns. I thought his approach was inspired.

He arrived at her home with a completely disassembled .22 pistol. First they went over the 4 major firearms safety rules, and generally discussed ammunition, proper use of firearms, etc. Then he began pulling pieces out of the bag. The first few pieces didn't even look like part of a gun. Perhaps the floorplate on a magazine, the magazine spring, body, etc. She handled all of these pieces and found they were just mechanical parts. He helped her assemble a magazine.

Then they pulled out a barrel. She was able to pick it up, examine the rifling, and so on. Then the recoil spring, slide, etc. The last piece he showed her was the frame, and they finished assembling the pistol. His strategy was to first show her the least threatening parts, let her handle every part, and see that it was a fairly simple, and, properly handled, safe machine.

The next time they got together they did a review, and then she got to fire the .22 pistol.

I know this may all sound a bit silly. But, if someone is really frightened of these 'devices', and is consumed by ignorance and fear, then a slow introduction can dispel most of those feelings.

I think gradually helping people overcome their unreasonable and limiting fears about firearms is one of the most fun things I now do regarding self defense. When I've introduced someone to these concepts, I honestly feel I've greatly enhanced their abilities as human beings and parents.

chink, good luck. Regards from AZ.
 
Yay, Shortcut!!

Excellent suggestion!

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"
 
I've never had to "re-train" an anti-gun type, but have taught a fair number of newbies who've never even held a gun before.

After going through the "does it fit your hand?" routine, and hoping they pick a pistol with a visible hammer, I go through a fair amount of dry-firing.

An hour at most of manipulation--opening a cylinder, explaining loading/unloading--and dry-firing indoors starts the student's hands toward muscle-memory. Autos are more fun, cause you can take them apart--as mentioned above, showing that there's just a bunch of pieces which fit together a certain way...

I try to point out that with guns in general, you can compete with yourself, trying to make only one hole in the target.

And never forget to start live fire up close! It's bad karma for a beginner to miss what seems to be an "easy target". See, when they miss, it means you are a lousy teacher!

FWIW, Art
 
Ive helped several female companions over the years learn to shoot and ya'll's responses are right on the money.....basically recognize there fears and do what is necessary to help them get over it. Ive had them become rabid shooters and found that they listened and became quite competent shots--unlike some of the tetosterone flooded shooters Ive tried to help...lol....the last young lady I tried to teach to shoot, went through all the safety stuff and actually got to the range and shot a few times and decided she didnt want to do it---out of respect for her i did not pursue the matter and kept the 38spl s/w pocket pistol I had purchased for her, a month later she moved back to california.....she just couldnt get over the thought of shooting for selfdefense, a mild dicotomy because she didnt mind that I had them and carried them..........
This weekend a friend who works in a gunstore with a range asked me to take his brother down stairs and help him--he wants to apply for his ccw, I had brought my magnaported 6"29 with the recently arrived herret jordan troopers to see how they handled recoil, this young man had a 4" 686 with primarily 38spl. He had shot a couple of times before---we went through all the steps till it was shooting time and he wanted to fire my pistol, he didnt know what it was so I didnt tell him, I let him shoot most of a box out of that pistol and then let him shoot the 357 he brought and then progressed down to the 38.......a little backwards I know,,,but this young man is big and did quite well with all three calibers, after all that the 38's were like shooting a 22 to this youngman....lol...another convert, his brother called to tell me that he now has to try and find his brother a 44mag,,,lol.....oh well....fubsy.
 
Speaking as a "chick", I think a lot of women's reluctance to handle firearms comes from the lack of exposure to them while growing up. Boys are much more likely to be taken hunting and shooting than girls are. Offer to teach her how to properly handle a firearm and see if she would like to go shooting with you. Sometimes women feel that this is a guys only thing. Make her feel more comfortable around firearms and you may find that she will show interest in them.

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www.sidearmor.net

Precision Crafted
Kydex Holsters
 
Here's how I taught my (then-soon-to-be) wife to shoot:

She was already interested in firearms, and wasn't scared of them. Noone had ever really cultivated her interest or taken the time to teach her about them. She had had a few boyfriends in the past who had guns but they kinda had the "it's a guy thang" attitude. Then I came along... ;)

It so happened about this time I was looking to purchase my first gun, so I went to a local range a rented a pistol of the same type that I was considering to buy, and I brought her with me. I rented a gun for her, too, and when we got into the range area, I explained to her how to operate the controls, what they were called, how to load, etc., and I explained the rules of safe gun handling. Then, I let her have at it, and I haven't been able to keep her out of it since! :D In fact, she's the one who discovered this forum and introduced me to it.

I plan on teaching my children about firearms as soon as I think they are ready. I have one daughter now that's 6, and another due to be born soon. For teaching kids, the aproach that's been suggested to me, and what I plan to use, is to load a gun (one they can have a healthy respect for, but not fear of) with one round, then shoot it at a jug of bleach water, a melon, etc., to show them what a gun can do and why they are dangerous. I plan on doing this with the 6 yr old when she's @ 10 or so, as I don't think she's ready yet.

I agree with what has already been said here- to teach someone who's afraid, don't try to "impress" them with a BOSG (Big 'Ol Scary Gun), start with a small one, show them it's just a machine that can be handled safely, and don't force the issue. You'll only reinforce their negative stereotype of gun owners. We have to show the world that we are upstanding, trustworthy citizens and not a bunch of paranoid hate-mongers.

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"Fear is the path to the Dark Side...
Fear leads to gun laws, gun laws lead to disarmament, disarmament... leads to Tyranny!"

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"If it isn't Scottish, it's CRAP!"
 
Back in my misspent youth, specificly my college dayz, I lived just off campus at LSU in a cheezy little apartment on West Chimes street affectionatly known as the Ghetto. There were all kinds of oddballs living there and one fellow used to come over and argue and fight with me about ideas. See, he was a full on communist, and I, well, I wasn't. We always had a great time, would get roaring drunk and so forth. One night, we were hashing out the problems of the world, and he had camped where I usually sat in my tiny 8'x8' space beneath my loft that I called my living room, and was absently digging around behind my block and board stereostand/bookshelf and found my 1911. He froze when his hand figured out what it was. I laughed. Asked him to please pull it out and hand it over, where I emptied it and handed it back. Okay, get this, here was a fellow in his early 20's, who had been in the Peace Corps, had been a bee keeper in El Salvadore, had travelled extensively, and had NEVER held a firearm is his whole life.

So, it began, tear down and reassembly, then doing it blind folded, then off to the range next saturday, within a month, this admittedly poor student type bought himself a High Standard .22 pistol, so that he could afford to shoot it -Larger calibre ammo being so much more expensive- and became yet another member of the Gun Culture.

Beginnings are dicy times. Early is better, later is certainly doable if approached with care.

Fear of Guns is pretty common, and is mostly due to ignorance. Our entertainment industry does an excellent job of frightening people, that is how they make their living. For most folks in this country, who are not members of the gun culture, the only things they know of guns is what they see on TV, in the movies, and hear on the news. Their fear and anger is certainly understandable in light of this.

If any non-gunner expresses any interest whatsoever, it is practically encumbant on any of us to do whatever is within our power to nurse that interest into full on first hand knowledge. Patience, frankness and openness work here. Truth is the best defense against tyranny, hence the first amendment.
 
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