Even as a declared "9mm guy", I have to say that I know at least one of the guys I have heard comment on 9mm vs .45 in combat (all using 9mm FMJ) well enough to believe him when he says that he used each. He carried an M4 and an M9 while enlisted, and "an HK416 and a .45" as a contractor. Last time I talked to him was a few months ago. I never thought to ask if he was able to use JHPs when he switched over.
I don't know specific situations, because he was always dismissive about pistols-- he doesn't generally care about them. He said something like, "I don't know why they bothered to give us ____ 9s. They're pretty much worthless without hollow points."
and
"it's different with a .45. You can see it. You touch a guy a couple times with one, and he's either down or done trying to do what he was doing."
Not verbatim, but along those lines.
The only times he ever showed excitement about guns were talking about getting an HK416, and getting to train on... forgive my lack of familiarity, but something in the same class as an m60, I believe. He got fired up, and said something like, "when you get on that thing, you really know it's a ____ weapon! It's ____! That was cool!"
That's pretty much all I can offer on the combat use of 9 and .45, because this:
"Hey, J.D., tell me about when you shot people with pistols, so I can tell people about it on the Internet."
is a conversation that will never happen.
Other guys I've heard comment on it... It's possible that they're full of it. One guy said he was a sniper, and carried an M9, but switched to a 1911 at some point after having shot someone (failing to kill) with the 9mm. I don't know him well, at all. Maybe it's bunk.
Ultimately, it's irrelevant, anyway. We have access to SD rounds, so I am able to confidently carry my SR9c.
/shrug