Here is load data from Hodgdon which are SAAMI spec or below for 10mm
135 GR. NOS JHP Hodgdon HS-6 .400" 1.250" 10.0 1318 31,300 PSI 11.2 1435 36,900 PSI
135 GR. NOS JHP Winchester AutoComp .400" 1.250" 8.7 1372 28,400 PSI 9.5 1476 34,500 PSI
135 GR. NOS JHP Hodgdon Universal .400" 1.250" 7.0 1284 30,200 PSI 8.0 1416 36,100 PSI
135 GR. NOS JHP Hodgdon Titegroup .400" 1.250" 7.2 1362 28,300 PSI 8.0 1459 35,800 PSI
And here is data for .357 at SAAMI spec or below for .357 w/140 grain XTP
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon H4227 .357" 1.590" 16.2 1541 33,100 CUP 18.0 1685 42,600 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Winchester 296 .357" 1.590" 17.1 1597 28,400 CUP 19.0 1762 40,900 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon H110 .357" 1.590" 17.1 1597 28,400 CUP 19.0 1762 40,900 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon Longshot .357" 1.590" 8.0 1396 31,300 CUP 9.1 1534 41,000 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP IMR SR 4756 .357" 1.590" 5.3 974 15,800 PSI 7.3 1307 31,300 PSI
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon HS-6 .357" 1.590" 9.5 1411 35,800 CUP 10.5 1539 43,000 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Winchester AutoComp .357" 1.590" 6.5 1164 22,000 PSI 7.6 1346 32,400 PSI
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon Universal .357" 1.590" 6.5 1218 34,800 CUP 7.0 1299 40,200 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Winchester 231 .357" 1.590" 6.5 1219 30,800 CUP 7.7 1378 41,900 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon HP-38 .357" 1.590" 6.5 1219 30,800 CUP 7.7 1378 41,900 CUP
140 GR. HDY XTP IMR SR 7625 .357" 1.590" 5.5 1079 21,700 PSI 6.7 1249 31,300 PSI
140 GR. HDY XTP IMR PB .357" 1.590" 4.5 966 20,700 PSI 5.4 1122 29,800 PSI
140 GR. HDY XTP Hodgdon Titegroup .357" 1.590" 6.3 1262 35,600 CUP 7.0 1376 41,900 CUP
We don't know barrel length but comparing something around 30k psi you see the .357 has a distinct edge. I normally go straight to Buffalo Bore for my numbers but I believe you, like me, are a reloader and want to keep our fingers, hands, and face intact so we are unable to use the "Black Magic" that Buffalo Bore and Double Tap use. In the end there is no real argument as the 10mm is close enough, and if you must, "as much gun" as the .357. I like the 10mm and hope to own one some day. I think with the 135 grain bullet it is a nasty self-defense round and you get some fire power as a bonus.
If we go to 180 grain bullets for .357 we get
80 GR. NOS PART Hodgdon H4227 .357" 1.575" 12.7 1247 36,900 CUP 13.7 1308 40,900 CUP
180 GR. NOS PART Winchester 296 .357" 1.575" 13.0 1352 36,800 CUP 13.5 1396 39,100 CUP
180 GR. NOS PART Hodgdon H110 .357" 1.575" 13.0 1352 36,800 CUP 13.5 1396 39,100 CUP
180 GR. NOS PART Hodgdon Lil'Gun .357" 1.575" 13.0 1279 27,500 CUP 15.0 1422 34,500 CUP
180 GR. NOS PART Hodgdon Longshot .357" 1.175" 6.1 1025 32,700 CUP 7.2 1167 41,700 CUP
With the 10mm and 180 grains we get this
180 GR. SIE JHC Hodgdon Longshot .400" 1.260" 8.5 1221 31,000 PSI 9.5 1287 34,600 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC IMR 800-X .400" 1.260" 8.7 1210 30,000 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC IMR SR 4756 .400" 1.260" 7.6 1155 34,400 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC Hodgdon HS-6 .400" 1.260" 7.4 940 22,000 PSI 9.4 1127 35,800 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC Winchester AutoComp .400" 1.250" 7.0 1119 29,800 PSI 7.7 1199 36,000 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC Hodgdon Universal .400" 1.260" 5.4 965 22,300 PSI 6.4 1122 32,200 PSI
180 GR. SIE JHC Winchester WSF .400" 1.260" 5.7 950 25,000 PSI 7.1 1150 35,600 PSI
At around 35k psi (and the .357 will take even more PSI) the .357 still out classes the 10mm. Without the "Voodoo" of Buffalo Bore and Double Tap the .357 is hard to beat. The numbers on Buffalo Bore put the .357 in the 750 ft lbs to 800 ft lbs range and the 10mm in the 700 ft lbs to 750 lbs range.