Posted by dlb0412: If you had only one shot which one [(.45 vs .357 mag vs 10mm auto)]do you believe would be the fastest stopper with the exact same shot placement?
Presuming that the OP is referring to shooting humans rather than alligators----since "exact" shot placement is an unreasonable goal in a self defense shooting, the question has very little value.
However, Deaf Smith has given a pretty good answer.
One should not confuse the fuss, blast, flash, and recoil at the shooter's end, or the disruption in a plastic jug of water or two, with the effectiveness of a handgun on a human target.
One should, however, understand that it is likely that a self defense encounter will require two or perhaps several very rapid shots with any handgun, and that one should choose on the basis of one's ability to effect such results.
Generally, and for civilians in particular since they have little need to penetrate auto bodies or plate glass, a lighter recoiling handgun is preferable for self defense, if a handgun is the only choice.