Back to the original question, they are both good choices (but you don't get a guarantee about "stopping power" or "one shot stops" with either.)
- Pick the one you are more comfortable with.
- If that's a tie, go with the .45 just because it's bigger.
- If you shoot the .38 better than the .45, that trumps size.
In NJ, he can't carry hollow-points (OK to use them at home, I think) so the Buffalo Bore wadcutters might be a better choice. I wonder how a DEWC cast from dead-soft lead and driven kind-of fast would work?Buffalo Bores LSWCHP 158gr +38