I've had two 357's. First a Ruger SA and then a Colt Trooper. Both recoiled more than I wanted and the Ruger always rode up in my hand with the shot. Shoot and re-grip. Went to the Trooper and it didn't ride up at all, difference in grips. But it was still more recoil than I wanted. Really really nice gun so I went to 38's with it. Got to where all I shot in handguns was cast bullet's unless I was carrying somewhere. For carry I loaded 38 Spec 125 gr Treasury loads. For plinking I loaded either 155 gr KT bullet's or, my favorite, 148 gr wadcutter's. I shot it with the 38's much better than with 253's. I think the difference in the SA type and the Colt DA is the shape of the grip and the weight of the gun, I'll take most any 357 over 38 and I did like the 4" barrel. I tried a 38 in Detective special one time with some factory loads, that will never happen again. It was a DA and had good grip but the light weight and 2" barrel made it uncomfortable to shoot, stung my hand shooting it. Today I do have a 30 but it's a plinking gun, wouldn't think of it for carry. S&W 38/44 w/6" barrel. Long barrel and heavy 44 frame and case bullet's make it really nice to shoot.
My carry 9mm is a S&W Shield 9c. Very light and very concealable. Just recently decided to use jacketed bullet's in it for carry but practice is 100% cast 124gr bullet's. I had shot some factory ammo when I got it, told myself I needed case's so bought the most inexpensive stuff I could get and recoil I don't recall as being all that bad.
I think your use should dictate which weapon you use for carry and which for plinking or target shooting. For me, recoil is a major factor. For me a carry gun must be light, concealable, low recoil and provide more than 5/6 round's when loaded. The plinging gun needs a min 4" barrel but better six. Weight won't be a big factor but there must be enough to control recoil. My 32 long is very light and has a 6" barrel, great plinking gun. One more thing I found out about revolver's over is that I can shoot them much much better than auto loader's. The only auto loader's I've ever shot well were all 22 LR's. Match the gun to what you'll use it for and at a comfort level you like.