Your feedback please. COA's 911 Hell.

J

John/az2

New member
This URL will expire Saturday afternoon.
Please do not pass out the URL, as I hope it will be officially posted by Saturday evening.

This is a joint production of Citizens of America & Liberty Belle Films.

Your criticisms are welcome, and encouraged.

Thank you.
www.cphv.com/test/911.html

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...
 
This was good, but most gun grabbing femails will not respond to this type of factual representation of what "might" happen to them someday until after they've been raped. Unfourtunate but true, and if they survive the assault suddendly they become gun rights advocates. My suggestion to any woman out there, don't wait until you become a statistic. Good flick though, very realistic without too many gory details.

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... But as for me, give me liberty or give me death!
 
Another excellent effort, John. The only thing I saw was that you used the word "quite" instead of "quiet" in the intro frame right before the "Liberty Bell and Citizens of America Production"

Everything else looked good though. I think you made your point pretty well. It may not have as much effect on antis but it will certainly give fence-sitters something to think about.

[This message has been edited by Bartholomew Roberts (edited October 13, 2000).]
 
John, I respectfully disagree with changing the graphic re: the woman on the bed. If someone heard such a noise, they're going to grab the phone and dial from their place on their bed. While they're holding, sure they'd probably try to get into a better defensive position.

You could add some sounds re: the door being broken in.

The playback is choppy. Perhaps that is the way my computer is setup? Instead of loading the entire film and then playing it from memory, it seems to load only a portion of it, play that portion, and then stop at odd places as it loads some more.

Great job. Take care. Regards from AZ
 
With MY ISP (I Slowly Process), the film played in chopped up, incoherent little pieces. Pretty danged frustrating.

I wanted to replay it. I wanted to see and hear it the way it was meant to be seen and heard! Alas, there was no "replay" button. I was hard-wired into two available choices:

1) Never get to hear it the way it was meant to be played (because trying to replay it started the same plodding re-load) or

2) Going directly to the site you demand I visit!

I picked a third choice and just dropped out - in anger and frustration.

I understand my slow ISP is not your fault - but I'll bet mine isn't the only one always suffering under "an unusually high workload".

((Wish Gore had done a better job when he invented the internet.... :mad: ))

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Either you believe in the Second Amendment or you don't.
Stick it to 'em! RKBA!

[This message has been edited by Dennis (edited October 13, 2000).]
 
I'd suggest making the plot more obvious...I got confused as to what happened. Like the negatives but they don't work w/o the positives with them.
 
Thank you. I'll be making some changes after reading your responses.

Another question, and I hope the admins will indulge me, because I believe this has to do with guns... :D

Do you think the text at the front is effective, or do you feel that it would be more effective to go right to the black 911 screen?

FYI, the sound track is from the COA's radio ad 911 Hell. It can not be changed.

Thank you.

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...
 
Hi John and all. This new guy found the opening text to be effective. It provided suspense and, for me, created a pretty good mental picture(although those nice cool sheets are ICE COLD here in Ohio).
BTW, I also experienced the choppy delivery.
 
For the people that had a problem with it being choppy:
1) right click the image
2) take the checkmark off of "Play" thus pausing the movie
3) wait for the whole thing to download before reinserting the check

I like it!
 
The choppiness will be fixed with some adjustment to the preloader. Otherwise, what PreserveFreedom said. The right click gives you a menu.

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...
 
MrBigglesworth stands up and applauds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Try to take away my gun...and you will see my 2nd Amendment Right in ACTION!!! -Me

The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are laws of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crime. Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." Thomas Jefferson
 
Very good...loaded great...

I just moved to Cali 6 months ago and the 911 system is a mess. While commuting last month (near San Jose) I called from my cell phone to report a fairly serious accident that happened one car behind me (a rollover)...I was on hold for 14 minutes before I talked to an alleged "human"...disgraceful...

Best of Luck

ST
 
John-
I like it. Alot.
One small suggestion; concerning timing.
A longer pause at the cessation of the victim's voice until the announcer's voice-over will cease leading the viewer's attention and provide the necessary invite for personal reflection and absorption. The longer the pause, the greater the suspense; creates a truly grisly potential. Necessary to have impact on most zombie viewers and cause them to think. Just a thought.
Keep up the good work.

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NRA LIFE MEMBER
ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
 
Overall good. My only quibble is the end - I recommend a pause, maybe 30 seconds or so, between the end of the clip and the announcer's voice requesting donations. Maybe even skip the request for donations entirely, and replace it with a statement about the number of 911 calls that go unanswered, or the average response time - something that would reinforce the message.
 
Anpwhotep and Citizen,

I agree, however, the sound track is COA's, not mine, and the agreement was to not change it. Otherwise, I would. :D

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...
 
I thought it good, but two things got me: (1) the money call - at first I thought it overly bold to ask, but I didn't right off see the Click Here link to go to the news items and thought it was finished. (2) You might want those links either larger font or colored or both. This old fella doesn't see small print late at night - even if it fades in and out. :)

Revisiting #1, maybe putting the $$$ call message after the news items with a line like "... now you know it does happen. Support this advertising by ... etc."

Good work!



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The Handgun: In a real pinch, the Great Equalizer.
 
Ironbarr, I increased the font size...

I'm leaving this up for a while longer. Your feedback has been very helpful.

I must admit, that I don't particularly like the photo sequence, and I believe it can be done better. I'll update this thread when I have something new to present.

Again, Thank you.

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...
 
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