You know you're a Liberal if..........

A

AHM1776

New member
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You know you're a Liberal if…

* You think sexual harassment is rampant, date rape pervasive, domestic violence common and Paula Jones is lying.
* You hate Hillary Jokes!!
* You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice.
* You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is just a blob of protoplasm.
* You are convinced that Frank Capra films and Norman Rockwell paintings are lies and distortions but Platoon, Dances with Wolves and Thelma and Louise are realistic.
* You thought Walt Disney was saccharine sweet and terminally cutesy-pie until it made Pocahontas.
* You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex-education, condom distribution, multiculturalism and ebonics are values-neutral.
* You agonize over threats to the environment such as acid rain and toxic waste but are oblivious to the threats to society such as pornography, promiscuity, and family dissolution.
* You want to legalize Cocaine and outlaw handguns.
* You think cops are pigs and criminals are products of their environment.
* You believe the National Rifle Association helps criminals but the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.
* Jesse Jackson makes sense to you.
* Barbra Streisand makes even more sense.
* You believe corporate profits are obscene but government spending is too low and the American people are undertaxed.
* You think deficits are caused by tax loopholes.
* You think marriage is obsolete, except for homosexuals.
* You think homosexuality is genetically determined but spouse abuse isn't.
* You believe that AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.
* You consider the Catholic Bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but you think they are dangerous fanatics trying to legislate theology when they defend the right to life.
* You think that the Black Middle Class is a myth created by Newt Gingrich.
* You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who bash the Pope are guardians of Democracy.
* You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation.
* You view race riots as justifiable expressions of rage of injustice and fail to see the similarities between a black mob burning a Korean Grocery Store and a white mob in the Jim Crow era lynching a black man.
* You marched against American involvement in Vietnam, thought the Gulf War was unnecessary but believe 25,000 troops in Bosnia are vital to our National Interests.
* You see no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy, judicial leniency and surging crime rates, or addiction and the entertainment industry that glorifies drug use, but you believe that Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan are responsible for everything horrible that has happened in the past quarter-century.

author: unknown

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AHM
 
And a few more.

TO BE A LIBERAL TODAY YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE:


-that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding;

-that trial lawyers are selfless heroes, but doctors are overpaid;

-that global temperatures are affected more by Yuppies driving SUV's than by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun;

-that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese;

-that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity;

-that self-esteem is more important than doing anything to earn it;

-that there was no art before federal funding;

-that the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good, because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution;

-that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high;

-that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinam are more important to an understanding of American history than Thomas
Jefferson, Robert E. Lee and Thomas Edison;

-that the most troubling thing you can find in a public school is children praying;

-that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas aren't;

-that any change in the weather is proof of global warming;

-that national wealth is determined by what we consume, not by what we produce;

-that the only wars in which America should become involved are those in which the national security is not at risk;

-that perjury and obstruction of justice are impeachable crimes if a Republican president like Richard Nixon commits them, but harmless
private matters if a Democratic president like Bill Clinton commits them;

-that the way to end racism is to give people special treatment on the basis of their skin color;

-that we can have a strong military without spending any money on it;

-that the way to improve public schools is to give more money and power to people who have misused it in the past;

-that a mother can be trusted to decide whether to terminate the life of her baby, but cannot be trusted to choose her child's school;

-that second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV;

-that hunters and fisherman don't care about nature, but pasty-faced activists who rarely leave the Upper West Side of Manhattan do;

-that a bureaucrat living in Washington can make better decisions about how your money should be spent than you can;

-that Hillary Clinton is a strong example for young women of feminist independence because everything she's gotten in her life is a result of her marriage to her husband;

-that being a movie star makes you qualified to speak out on public policy;

-that a clerk in a government-owned liquor store is a selfless tribune of the people, but a clerk in a privately owned liquor store is a vile oppressor of the masses, even though prices are lower and hours are
longer in the private store;

-that a handful of religious wackos living in isolation in rural Texas are more of a threat to public safety than Puerto Rican terrorists who plant bombs in major cities;

-that cigarette and liquor advertising must be banned, because it causes kids to smoke and drink, but we don't need to worry about sex and violence in television programming because kids aren't influenced by what happens between the commercials;

-that passing new laws is a better way to prevent crime than enforcing existing ones;

-that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it has been tried is because people like you haven't been in charge.



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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein
 
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Coinneach:
Again?

Has there been some kind of selective amnesia regarding the SEARCH function? :rolleyes:[/quote]

SEARCH ??? SEARCH ??? We don't need no STEENKIN ' search .



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TOM SASS MEMBER AMERICAN LEGION MEMBER NRA MEMBER
 
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