www.theonion.com
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99% of the time The Onion brings me to tears. The other 1% they really pi$$ me off! It's still a better ratio than my wife has.
http://www.theonion.com/onion3626/hersheys_pay_obese.html
http://www.theonion.com/onion3626/hersheys_pay_obese.html
The Onion is published locally here in Madison, Wisconsin. You can pick up the paper version lots of places for free. It's a hoot! Reminds me allot of the old National Lampoon magazine from the 70s - with informative articles like: How to drive fast on drugs, while getting your wing-wang squeezed, and not spilling your drink.... err, like I said that was the 70s. -- Kernel
I love The Onion...
This stuff is priceless!
Copycat killing "Missing subtleties of Original" say Police.
BRONX, NY--A young couple was found ritualistically murdered in Crotona Park early Monday in what police are calling a "copycat crime that lacks the artistry
and nuance of the original."
"On the surface, this double homicide seems identical to that of Yvette and Hector Reynoso in Crotona Park July 3,"
said Sgt. Bob Bloch of the New York Police Department. "The bodies were arranged in a back-to-back seated position,
tied tightly together. Each victim's clothing was removed and put backwards on the other person. And their throats and
wrists were ritualistically slashed, and the eyeballs carved out and placed in their mouths. But look closer, and you'll see
that this crime is a pale, uninspired imitation of its predecessor."
The latest victims, identified as Susan and Nicholas Thomasen of White Plains, were found by police at 6 a.m. The
crime was initially suspected to be the work of the Happy Loving Couple Killer, who shocked New York with his grisly,
methodical slaying of the Reynosos four weeks ago and may be behind as many as 11 ritual double murders since 1988.
"Based on our initial forensic observations, we believed the crimes to be the work of the same man," Bloch said. "But a
closer look revealed an obvious departure from the Happy Loving Couple Killer's attention to detail. I mean, why weren't
the Thomasens' hands meticulously entwined? Why weren't the usual Valentine hearts drawn on their chests with the other's blood? Why were there no African
violets stuffed into their mouths? Just sloppy. And tying their necks together with a white silk scarf is just an unnecessary flourish, introducing a violent,
erotic-fantasy-fulfillment theme that undermines the simplicity and emotional directness that is the real Happy Loving Couple Killer's signature style. The second I
stepped on the scene, I knew something was horribly wrong."
Fingerprints and DNA samples taken from the Thomasens' bodies failed to match those from the Reynoso murders, confirming those suspicions.
"It's a disappointing sidebar to the Happy Loving Couple Killer canon," Bloch continued. "However, it in no way detracts from the importance and power of the
original killings."
Adding to the lack of artistic merit already clouding the Thomasens' death is the fact that, in order to stay true to the spirit of the original, the couple should not
have been chosen as victims in the first place.
"The Happy Loving Couple Killer, or 'Hap,' as his longtime NYPD followers call him, always murders newlyweds who have known each other less than one year,"
Bloch said. "The Thomasens had met 13 months ago. Did this wannabe think we wouldn't notice? It's those little details that mark the difference between a good
killer and a derivative hack. This murder is almost beneath the NYPD's attention."
~USP
This stuff is priceless!
Copycat killing "Missing subtleties of Original" say Police.
BRONX, NY--A young couple was found ritualistically murdered in Crotona Park early Monday in what police are calling a "copycat crime that lacks the artistry
and nuance of the original."
"On the surface, this double homicide seems identical to that of Yvette and Hector Reynoso in Crotona Park July 3,"
said Sgt. Bob Bloch of the New York Police Department. "The bodies were arranged in a back-to-back seated position,
tied tightly together. Each victim's clothing was removed and put backwards on the other person. And their throats and
wrists were ritualistically slashed, and the eyeballs carved out and placed in their mouths. But look closer, and you'll see
that this crime is a pale, uninspired imitation of its predecessor."
The latest victims, identified as Susan and Nicholas Thomasen of White Plains, were found by police at 6 a.m. The
crime was initially suspected to be the work of the Happy Loving Couple Killer, who shocked New York with his grisly,
methodical slaying of the Reynosos four weeks ago and may be behind as many as 11 ritual double murders since 1988.
"Based on our initial forensic observations, we believed the crimes to be the work of the same man," Bloch said. "But a
closer look revealed an obvious departure from the Happy Loving Couple Killer's attention to detail. I mean, why weren't
the Thomasens' hands meticulously entwined? Why weren't the usual Valentine hearts drawn on their chests with the other's blood? Why were there no African
violets stuffed into their mouths? Just sloppy. And tying their necks together with a white silk scarf is just an unnecessary flourish, introducing a violent,
erotic-fantasy-fulfillment theme that undermines the simplicity and emotional directness that is the real Happy Loving Couple Killer's signature style. The second I
stepped on the scene, I knew something was horribly wrong."
Fingerprints and DNA samples taken from the Thomasens' bodies failed to match those from the Reynoso murders, confirming those suspicions.
"It's a disappointing sidebar to the Happy Loving Couple Killer canon," Bloch continued. "However, it in no way detracts from the importance and power of the
original killings."
Adding to the lack of artistic merit already clouding the Thomasens' death is the fact that, in order to stay true to the spirit of the original, the couple should not
have been chosen as victims in the first place.
"The Happy Loving Couple Killer, or 'Hap,' as his longtime NYPD followers call him, always murders newlyweds who have known each other less than one year,"
Bloch said. "The Thomasens had met 13 months ago. Did this wannabe think we wouldn't notice? It's those little details that mark the difference between a good
killer and a derivative hack. This murder is almost beneath the NYPD's attention."
~USP
Fal all the way, or Kimber?They once ran a story of Atlanta being burned by Union soldeirs during a reenactment. I printed it out and put on my office door. To a person everyone that saw it acted surprised, said they hadn't heard about it on CNN, and how was it possible that Atlanta burn again. These same people are strongly anti-RKBA. Go figure.
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"Get yourself a Lorcin and lose that nickel plated sissy pistol."
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"Get yourself a Lorcin and lose that nickel plated sissy pistol."
It is a awful thing I know but only way to beat the FALbug is to just hit head on w/ a beautiful preban SAR. Just tell the wife it's a deposit on some property. After all it is property. Just think of Tide detergent bottles at 200yds with iron sites and FNM ball ammo, it "gets the dirt out". 
The store that Coineach in has a pretty (used) SAR FAL for $1300. If I had it, but I got one year left of stout credit card payments before my wedding and move is paid for. Then all the world is mine, but then again if Gore-erific is elected, I will buy 20 gun in a single hour.
Tecolote, there's a connection there somewhere. Trust me on this.
Personally, I like the advice columns, like "Ask a Navy SEAL."
Q--Mr. Navy Seal, my in-laws are driving me crazy! I love them, and they really are nice people, but how can I get them to call before they come to my house without insulting them?
A--Blowing bridges is indeed a tricky business--especially when you want to deny it to the enemy but leave enough foundation for your side to rebuild later. You'll need.......
Personally, I like the advice columns, like "Ask a Navy SEAL."
Q--Mr. Navy Seal, my in-laws are driving me crazy! I love them, and they really are nice people, but how can I get them to call before they come to my house without insulting them?
A--Blowing bridges is indeed a tricky business--especially when you want to deny it to the enemy but leave enough foundation for your side to rebuild later. You'll need.......