Writing my own Constitution. This is HARD!!

N

Nightcrawler

New member
The Founders sure had their work cut out for them. A sci-fi buff and budding writer, I am currently working on a setting for a story or series of stories I may write. Like most future sci-fi involving space travel, humanity has united, but it's not through the normal means. (An asteroid wipes out most of earth's population, and the majority of the survivors share the same culture and values) (Personally, I think the old "oh, everybody just saw the evils of war and formed a world government" line used by most scifi is ridiculous and absurd) Also, a student of sociology, I'm fascinated with studying, and, when I can, inventing cultures.

Anyhoo, I'm currently working on the Articles of Coalition, the Federal Terran Coalition's equivalent to the 1789 Constitution. The first, and obviously, most important piece I decided to write was the bill of rights, which I am presenting below for your consideration. Getting the wording right is difficult, considering the very foundations for civilization would be based on what I write. I especially had trouble with the Tenth Article, the equivalent to the 2nd Ammendment. How to word it in such a way as to ensure the people could be adequately armed to defend against tyranny and crime, but to prevent it from being interpreted to mean that anybody who wants one has a God-given right to purchase and use such weapons as nukes, nerve gas, and other weapons of mass destruction?? I hope I did a decent job. Please share your thoughts, and if anybody has a clearer and more concise idea for any of these articles, please let me know.





Articles of Coalition Bill of Rights

WE THE PEOPLE of the Federal Terran Coalition, in order to guard against Governmental abuses, and protect the inalienable rights of the human race, to hereby add these Articles to the Articles of Coalition.

Article I: The Government shall pass no law establishing or endorsing any religion, nor shall the Government pass any law inhibiting the right of the People to worship as they see fit.

Article II: The Government shall pass no law restricting the Press and the Media except in cases of slander and libel, or abridging the right of free speech, peaceful assembly, or the right of the People to petition the Government for redress of grievances.

Article III: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, effects, and privacy, against unreasonable searches, seizures, and occupation, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall be issued, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Article IV: In all criminal prosecutions, the right of the accused to a speedy, fair, and public trial shall not be abridged. The accused shall have an impartial jury of the district where the crime has been committed, and shall have the assistance of legal counsel available. The accused shall be informed of the nature and case of the accusation, shall have process for obtaining witnesses in his or her favor, and has the right to be confronted with the witnesses against him or her.

Article V: No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the Armed Forces, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall anyone be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against oneself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without due process and just compensation.

Article VI: Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor shall cruel and unusual punishments be inflicted.

Article VII: Slavery and the slave trade in all of its forms shall be abolished.

Article VIII: The Government shall make no law restricting or limiting the right of the People to travel within the Coalition, or to leave the Territories of the Coalition, and to return to the Territories of the Coalition.

Article IX: The enumeration of certain rights, in these Articles, shall not be construed to deny or disparage other inalienable rights retained by the People, for rights do not come from Government, or from these Articles, but are natural and inalienable.

Article X: In order to secure freedom, liberty and justice for all humankind, to safeguard against abuse from the Government, and to prevent the rise of tyrants in the Coalition, no free citizen shall be denied the right to acquire, posses, and, if necessary, use, arms and personal weaponry, especially those of military grade and pattern.
 
In the 18th Century, the "Age of Enlightenment", anyone with enough mastery of the language of the time to be literate was assumed to understand the difference between "arms" and "ordnance" in the lingua franca of the day. You'll note, however, that there is no provision in the Constitution specifically prohibiting Joe Citizen from acquiring, say, a Puckle Gun or a 12-pounder... ;)

I believe any educated person of the time would be appalled at what is considered an "adequate basic education" in our modern era.
 
Nightcrawler,

Interesting. I would love to read it when you get it done...

I was wondering why the RKBA was the tenth article and not the first, since all others depend on it?

--

Also, to get some excellent insight into how our Constitution was formed and the thinking that evolved for its creation get the following excellent book:

The Ideological Origins of the American Revolution
Bernard Bailyn
The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press
ISBN: 0-674-44302-0

Ken
 
How about, "Any type or manner of personal or individual weapons or arms, and training and other necessary support therefor, available to leaders, rulers, and any level of ("government?) also shall be readily available to the People as a free People."

What I'm trying for is any wording that would ensure the "ruler" (whatever their position or title) would never be able to "outgun" the People. That includes training.

You might justify it as a means of securing the homeland (?planet?) from all invaders, etc.
 
New Constitutuion & BOR

Nightcrawler,
My hat's off to you. I've thought about a "re-do" of the C. & BOR many times.

I would start with a preamble which would include the Declaration of Independence, as a reminder to all who live under the "new" Constitution that rebellion against tyranny is a right. The preamble would also contain language which would define a "right", so that people would not later claim as rights those things which aren't, and dismiss as irrelevant those rights which they don't like. It would also contain a clear and unequivocal statement that rights are granted to every human being on earth by The Creator, and not by any gov't; that rights do not become "obsolete" unless some basic change in the universe negates the need for the right (for instance: the right to self-defense would becom obsolete if by some quirk of physics human beings were to become impervious to any physical harm.)
Then would come the Bill of Rights, followed by the body of the Constitution itself. The Constitution would be a "blueprint" for the structure of gov't.

I think the first of all amendments should be the right to life, stated thus: One's life, and the fruits on one's labor, are one's to do with as one pleases. This negates the need for an amendment against slavery.

The right to self defense would be listed not as a separate right, but as an extension of the right to life.

In the fifth, I'd eliminate the underlined language altogether:
nor shall private property be taken for public use, without due process and just compensation.
Click to expand...

I too, would be interested in seeing what you end up with.
 
Need to define free people.

If it ever came to the wording of these definitions, the next mode of attack would come (and is in present day)

: Well, we're not free people any more. And we don't want to be "free people" if it means wittul chidun are gonna keep getting hurt.


Battler.
 
Nice job...I have a few problems

The first is in your use of the word "human" in the preamble and "human kind" in Article ten. This could be construed that you must be able to prove you are a human, or since this being a Sci-Fi novel, no rights will be given to any aliens. It could prove problematic, how do you prove you are a human? Do you define it by body form, two arms, two legs etc. what about people born with defects are they not human...As I said problematic.

A better word would be "People" taken to mean - "A body of persons living in the same country under one national government; a nationality" Which is readily defined by citizenship.

Also in article ten, you say "no free citizen shall be denied" Does this mean certain citizens are not free? What do you mean by free? Define free, again problematic...Since you abolish slavery in Article VII, you don't need the word "free".

You are right making a Constitution is hard, but thats why we have lots of founding fathers and not just one. A bunch of people needed to get together and use their collective knowledge to get the language and ideals properly worded and down on paper.

~bamf
 
interesting insights

You're right. The Founders were a BUNCH of guys, most of whom probably had a better mastery of the language than I. This is going to take some work. The REST of the Articles are going to be even harder. I've got to make up the structure for an interplanetary government!
 
Just a few thoughts:

Why is it important for the rights of human beings to be recognized by their government? Because they are rational animals, who must continually make choices that determine the outcomes of their lives. Since rationality is not infallible, and because there is no one right way to live life that works for eveyone, rational animals must be free to decide for themselves what is right or wrong for them.

If you are trying to create a workable system of government for a world in which humans and other intelligent life forms will interact, you should take care to include all rational beings in the group protected by your BOR.

Article VI deals with cruel and unusual punishment. I have no idea whether or not someone could be executed under this system. Furthermore, I can't tell whether abortions are legal or not.

I don't remember seeing a right to vote.

One article that I've always thought was missing from our constitution was the right to possess any property that has not been acquired by theft, force, or fraud, as long as said property is not used to commit violent acts. In other words, an amendment prohibiting victimless crimes.

And, of course, I agree with Ayn Rand that there ought to be an amendment that reads, "Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of production and trade."
 
rewording

I've done some rewording, so it doesn't read as to apply only to humans, although I have yet to decide whether I'll have Star Trek-type aliens in my universe, but I doubt it. (people with funny noses who, oddly enough, breath the same atmosphere we do, see in the same spectrum, have the same thought processes, and, oh yeah, can mate with humans and produce a healthy offspring)

Keep in mind that this bill of rights isn't the whole Articles of Coalition, just a small part. I've not yet begun the stuff about how the government would be structured, the electoral system, the various offices, and so on. I've changed the tenth article to be a little less specific, too, but again, that may change again. Here's the story of how the Tenth article got put in there in the first place:

Decades after the asteroid devastated earth, the survivors, most of whom were in north america, were finally beginning to rebuild and repopulate, with help from the moon and space colonies, which had been spared the apocolypse. There were many problems with bandits, raiders, and warlords, however, and outside of the larger communities, it was chaos. So the workings were put in place for a new government, to bring order to chaos.

Years later, after much negotiation, representatives from the surviving territories met in order to draft a new government, and establish it. Obviously, the people, having learned to be self-sufficient and survive, weren't going to stand for anything but freedom. So, the articles were written, with the Bill of Rights added in as extra security. However, it originally contained nothing about bearing arms, even though the only thing that kept most communities safe from raiders were armed citizens. Texas and a few other American territories refused to sign the Articles of Coalition until such an article was inserted, and thus, the Tenth Article was born. The government has changed structure as the coalition has expanded into space, but a few principles remain.

-Civilian control of the Armed Forces
-Leaders of all levels are elected by the People
-Any space colony that is not on a Coalition world can choose to become independent if the Federal Government didn't fund it's construction
-No person may hold political office for more than 10 years. In other words, if you were a colonial governor for five years, you can only be president for one five year term. This is to prevent the rise of corrupt career politicians.
-Public schools, though they get funding from FedGov, are directly controlled by the people of the district or community in which they are established
-Space travel is open and unrestricted.
-Business is open and very capitalistic.
-Despite all the electronic transactions, there is still hard currency.
-The Federal government really doesn't have that much power. Most of the laws that affect people's everyday lives come from the government of the district (on Earth or another heavily colonized world) or colony in which they live.
-There is NO BATF :) although misuse of a deadly weapon is a felony and is usually punished with no-parole jail time. Criminal misuse of a heavy weapon (missile, armed starship, etc) is punishable by death. So be careful where you point your ion lasers. :)
 
Consider adding a section pointed directly at those who would twist meanings, say "yes but", or otherwise go through various historically common contortions to circumvent the prohibitions on gov't behavior.

"These grants to and restrictions on government power and behavior are indeed written in plain language. '...shall make no law' means exactly that. '...shall not be infringed' means exactly that. No circumvention, no redefinitions, no re-evaluating intent. The authors and signers of this document knew exactly what they meant, evaluated the consequences, and approved it. Constitutions only work when those under them follow them. Anyone who proposes a law that violates this consitution shall be immediately deported."
 
Nightcrawler--your proposed document reads very much like the current Constitution. I'd suggest that you try to write it in clear, lucid but _modern_ English. I'll probably respond again later when I've had more time to think about this, but here are a couple of points.

Article I: Can I practice human sacrifice? What if the sacrifice is willing?

Re: jury trials. I'd include an absolute right to present ANY DEFENSE the defendant wishes, regardless of the judge or prosecutor's opinions on its relevance or validity. None of this modern day monkey-business of letting the state decide whether you'll be _allowed_ to argue your case. Deciding whether your defense is relevant or valid is the JURY'S job.
 
How about....?

No power shall be assumed by any government agency not explicitly and plainly granted by this Constitution. The only powers of the federal government are ... [x,y,z]; the only powers of state governments are ...[a,b,c]; the only powers of local government are ...[p,d,q]. All other powers are reserved to the people individually. Nothing herein shall be construed to give any government agency or agent the power to: ...[a,b,c].

The attempted usurpation of any right reserved to the people by a government agent shall be void and shall be punishable as a capital offense.

A person shall have the right to trial by jury in every instance where his life, liberty or property is in jeopardy of taking or diminishment by action of the government or its agents. No "administrative hearing," "condemnation hearing," "eminent domain," "civil forfeiture" or other type of action whatsoever may be used to usurp this right. In all cases, the burden of proof shall be on the government to establish guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

In every trial by jury, the jury shall be instructed by the judge that it has the sole and absolute right to determine both the law and the facts, and disregard any law or judicial instruction contrary to this Constitution, the common law, natural law or common sense.

No government agency or agent shall have or be entitled to a defense of "sovereign immunity." Any agent of government duly convicted of violating the rights of any person shall be criminally liable and make full restitution to the victim.

Oh, I suppose I could go on forever and ever with this...
 
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