This has been brought up repeatedly over the years, and my basic position -- an odd one -- hasn't really changed.
I don't think a women's forum belongs on TFL. But I've worked hard in other areas of my life to welcome women into the shooting fold and help get them up and running. I believe there's a lot of value in venues specifically for women who shoot, but I also don't believe such a venue belongs
here. That's not TFL's mission.
Female-centric stuff: I've worked really hard building a
website specifically tailored for women who shoot -- primarily aimed at beginners, but with enough material there that there should be plenty of interest to a more advanced shooter as well. I did that because I really love to see other women getting involved in the shooting world, and because I personally know a lot of women who are quite intimidated by the usual black-background, red-print, "tactical look" websites that talk about firearms. My goal was to build something different, with a friendlier look and feel to it, so that my readers, if they did feel intimidated, would feel intimidated by the
material rather than by the
atmosphere.
More female-centric stuff: I spend a large portion of my weekends hanging out at
FAS, where Gila Hayes and I have built a fairly active women's group, which is only open to women who have graduated from at least one class at FAS. There's an email list just for women grads, and there's an organized group of interested women who get together to shoot and learn about some specific topic about once every six weeks. On the schedule this coming year are several classes for women only. We've had a tremendous amount of success getting women on board there and keeping them interested, and I've gotten a lot of personal satisfaction and even joy from watching it happen and being a part of it. I'm proud of that group and excited to watch it grow.
More female-centric musings: Are there topics unique to women only? You bet your booties there are! The obvious one is holsters, of course; holsters designed by men for men just don't work well on women's bodies. Women have curves and guns do not and that often means women need holsters designed to position the gun differently than men do. Men may be shaped like celery or apples; women are more often shaped like pears and hourglasses. Men wear loose jeans and loose tee shirts or oxford shirts on the weekends, and suits during the week. Women wear slacks without belt loops, form-fitting loose drapey blouses, dresses and skirts, and on the weekends dress in tight blue jeans and tighter tops. The concealment issues are radically different, even when there's a little overlap in methods.
Further, just about every time a woman on TFL posts to ask about holsters specific to female body shapes, or similar topics, the question has been answered primarily by men -- well meaning guys, don't get me wrong! -- who post about their wife's or girlfriend's experience rather than their own. This is kind of akin to looking for firearms information from people whose knowledge comes mostly from playing video games ... not that what is said is necessarily
wrong, but just that it comes secondhand and often leaves out some incredibly important stuff.
There are some shooting technique differences between men and women, too. Don't believe me, you men? Tell you what: you tell
me what to say to a woman whose boobs are getting in the way of a nice tight Weaver stance, or that distract her from locking out in a solid Isosceles. Do that without offending her and without embarrassing yourself, k? Boobs again: some women have to shove them out of the way with one hand while drawing with the other, simply so they can clear the holster. You guys want to talk about that in the open forum? Neither do I ... there are plenty more, not necessarily boob-related, but unique to female body shapes.
There are cultural and social differences. It's very easy for a tough-minded person who has deliberately surrounded herself with male mentors to feel right at home in the old-boys' club atmosphere of TFL. I like male company, and my best friends have always been male. But I'm aware that I'm a woman at the far end of that bell curve; I have heard women, literally with tears in their eyes, tell me that they
never knew any women who liked to shoot before. It meant something to them, something significant, to find a group of like-minded women who were, well, still feminine despite the weekend hobbies. People really underestimate social pressure, I think. It exists, it's real, and it is powerful.
An aside about social pressure: two of my children were born at home. In calling my first midwife, I told her I didn't even know any other women who had home-birthed. She was utterly shocked, and told me she'd
never had anyone call her out of the blue like that without having at least one or two peers who had done the same thing. The truth is, very few women -- very few
people, male or female -- find courage to do something against the social norm, unless they have at least one and preferably a group of like-minded folks who are going to swim with them against the social current.
Can women hold their own in a co-ed environment? Darn right we can! I'd put my experience and shooting skills up against anyone on this board -- not that I would outshoot everyone or even most folks, but that I would look as competent and as skilled as any other trained shooter. I wouldn't embarrass myself. If someone outshot me, it would be because he shot better, not because I'm a girl. Only a fool blames her shooting skills on her sex. I've gotten the training, I've put in the practice time, and there's nothing wrong with my mindset. Can I hold my own in debate? I hope my record here shows that I can. Can other women? Well, I'd certainly hate to be the one who opines that Tamara can not ...
And there are several other active women on this board who do just fine, thankyouverymuch. But I've been hanging around on TFL for years, and I've seen a lot of posters come and go. I've seen a lot of evidently strong women who started posting here, and who eventually just got worn down by having to constantly defend themselves and what they stood for. What that amounts to is, just because a woman
can, doesn't necessarily means she
wants to. But posting online is all about the
want to.
How many women do you see at
your range? What percentage? Around here, it's probably around 15-20%. Those women aren't coming to TFL. The percentage of active posters on TFL who are women is decidedly smaller than that. Why is that?
Women do vary from one another, just as much as men vary from one another. Some women like hanging out with the guys and get a kick out of it. Some women don't mind hanging out with the guys and will never give it a second thought. Some women, even though they like guys, will never feel very comfortable in a mostly-male environment. And some women just don't like guys that much and would rather spend time with other women.
TFL, at the moment, has a place for women who like hanging with guys, and who don't mind being treated like guys treat each other. TFL does not have a place for women who do mind being treated that way.
Women who don't like being treated the way most guys treat each other online actually make up the majority of the female population, I suspect. (I could be wrong about that -- I haven't taken any polls. But empirical evidence suggests it may be so.) And there's no place here for those women.
Does that matter? As I've said repeatedly, TFL's purpose is to emphasize the essential unity of all gun owners: ordinary citizens and military people and LEOs and men and women, people from all races and religions. There are other venues online where LEOs can talk shop, where military grunts can unwind, where people interested only in concealed carry can discuss concealed carry without having to rub shoulders with long gunners, where Mormon gun owners can discuss whatever Mormon gun owners want to discuss. Those separate, fractured forums emphasize our diversity.
But TFL is, and always has been, about our unity as gun owners. That's as it should be.
Bottom line: I agree that a women's forum would meet some important needs for women, but am not convinced that such a forum belongs on TFL, since it would negatively impact TFL's basic mission of emphasizing the unity of gun owners.
pax