Wish me luck...
- Thread starter Mr Dish
- Start date
zombieslayer
New member
Tales such as these make me glad to live in Fl.
Legionnaire
New member
"County Gun Board?" Sheesh!
Anyway, hope all goes well.
Anyway, hope all goes well.
They just want to be sure that you are a level-headed, well-trained, productive member of society. People make the first judgement often by just looking at you. IT IS IMPORTANT TO DRESS PROPERLY!!
So, I suggest wearing a tie (bow-ties are non-intimidating). Obviously, put on your best dress shirt (be sure to cut off the sleeves, so you aren't concealing "the big guns" without a permit) and a pair of cowboy boots (because John Wayne was a cowboy and cowboys know handle a gun).
Then put on some 'Nam era fatigue pants to imply military service too. Lastly, complete the ensemble with a proper hat. I suggest a stylish (yet practical) Top-hat. A simple black one like Honest Abe or a patriotic striped Uncle Sam would work well too. If you don't have a top-hat, dump a jar of flour on your hair to replicate a powdered-wig like the Founding Fathers wore in 1776.
During the interview, they will try and ask you misleading questions. They are trying to find a reason to deny you. Answer every question in a calm and well articulated fashion. Don't rush when speaking and pause often, in case they have a follow-up question. (Think William Shatner performing Rocket Man.) Also, be sure to be as "politically correct" as possible. Try and say things like "Native-American" instead of "Indian." The exception of course is Gypsies. In fact, "Thievin' Gypsies" is a good answer, should you be asked, why you need to travel with a gun?
Most importantly, remember this is a group of government APPOINTED people who are paid a high salary (with your tax dollars) to do nothing but waste your time. Be sure to remind them that they "work for you" and you're REALLY to busy to sit around and "play monkey-football with them all afternoon" because you ACTUALLY WORK FOR LIVING.
Depending on your state and local procedures, the board may give you their decision via the mail. Politely, tell them that you "Ain't got time for the postman, quit being cheapskates and send the letter via UPS/FedEx because it's on YOUR dime, ANYWAY."
Lastly, I suggest you thank them for the meeting and ask "don't I get a free sack-lunch like you do on jury duty?" If they reply "no", DEMAND they at least split THEIR pudding cup with you.
At this point, the decision of whether or not to deny your constitutional rights, is up to them. Hopefully, I was able to give you this advice before your meeting with them. I am sure everything will go smoothly as possible.
So, I suggest wearing a tie (bow-ties are non-intimidating). Obviously, put on your best dress shirt (be sure to cut off the sleeves, so you aren't concealing "the big guns" without a permit) and a pair of cowboy boots (because John Wayne was a cowboy and cowboys know handle a gun).
Then put on some 'Nam era fatigue pants to imply military service too. Lastly, complete the ensemble with a proper hat. I suggest a stylish (yet practical) Top-hat. A simple black one like Honest Abe or a patriotic striped Uncle Sam would work well too. If you don't have a top-hat, dump a jar of flour on your hair to replicate a powdered-wig like the Founding Fathers wore in 1776.
During the interview, they will try and ask you misleading questions. They are trying to find a reason to deny you. Answer every question in a calm and well articulated fashion. Don't rush when speaking and pause often, in case they have a follow-up question. (Think William Shatner performing Rocket Man.) Also, be sure to be as "politically correct" as possible. Try and say things like "Native-American" instead of "Indian." The exception of course is Gypsies. In fact, "Thievin' Gypsies" is a good answer, should you be asked, why you need to travel with a gun?
Most importantly, remember this is a group of government APPOINTED people who are paid a high salary (with your tax dollars) to do nothing but waste your time. Be sure to remind them that they "work for you" and you're REALLY to busy to sit around and "play monkey-football with them all afternoon" because you ACTUALLY WORK FOR LIVING.
Depending on your state and local procedures, the board may give you their decision via the mail. Politely, tell them that you "Ain't got time for the postman, quit being cheapskates and send the letter via UPS/FedEx because it's on YOUR dime, ANYWAY."
Lastly, I suggest you thank them for the meeting and ask "don't I get a free sack-lunch like you do on jury duty?" If they reply "no", DEMAND they at least split THEIR pudding cup with you.
At this point, the decision of whether or not to deny your constitutional rights, is up to them. Hopefully, I was able to give you this advice before your meeting with them. I am sure everything will go smoothly as possible.
EDINK....that was one of the funniest damned things I have read in a long tome. Almost choked on my Baconator sandwich.
Actually, all went well. I was the 1st to arrive (bad habit I have) and after about 20 others showed up for their "grillin" session, I was almost the last to leave. They just have a few questions about my illustrious Navy career, apparently they had trouble getting into those records.
Between the Sheriff, State Trooper and the Prosecutor, they all took a vote and agreed that I was a safe bet. I just wish they had a better sense of humor like you.
Actually, all went well. I was the 1st to arrive (bad habit I have) and after about 20 others showed up for their "grillin" session, I was almost the last to leave. They just have a few questions about my illustrious Navy career, apparently they had trouble getting into those records.
Between the Sheriff, State Trooper and the Prosecutor, they all took a vote and agreed that I was a safe bet. I just wish they had a better sense of humor like you.
Legionnaire
New member
Glad it went well. And that was a stitch, Ed!
Ed absolutely killed me, because as I was reading the thread, I was thinking "dress right, trim hair and beard, leave out the rhetoric..."
Probably 20 odd years ago, I bought a pistol from my father in law. He insisted that I go get the permit to buy, just to stay legal, even though individual sales aren't legally required to.
I got to the sheriff's office, two guys started acting funny while I was there, and the secretary started stalling me.
Next thing I know, the two guys grabbed me by both arms from behind, and dragged me out of the office, saying shut up and behave, because they need to talk to me.
It turned out that my 5'11" brown hair and blue eyes was an exact match to a description of a guy who had just committed an armed robbery.
If I can show up in tie and slacks with polished shoes, and be physically dragged into an interrogation room because I was there doing them a favor I'd hate to see what would happen if I went there to pay a fine.
Probably 20 odd years ago, I bought a pistol from my father in law. He insisted that I go get the permit to buy, just to stay legal, even though individual sales aren't legally required to.
I got to the sheriff's office, two guys started acting funny while I was there, and the secretary started stalling me.
Next thing I know, the two guys grabbed me by both arms from behind, and dragged me out of the office, saying shut up and behave, because they need to talk to me.
It turned out that my 5'11" brown hair and blue eyes was an exact match to a description of a guy who had just committed an armed robbery.
If I can show up in tie and slacks with polished shoes, and be physically dragged into an interrogation room because I was there doing them a favor I'd hate to see what would happen if I went there to pay a fine.
stickhauler
New member
Thank God I'm a Buckeye! Yet another reason Ohio is better than Michigan. To get my CCW, I took my little class, went to the sheriff's office with cash money and an filled out application, the nice lady took my fingerprints, and told me they'd call me when it was ready to be picked up.
As for the bag lunch for jury duty, I was called for it a few months back and that's exactly what they did for us. But just because every woman on a diet likes turkey sandwiches doesn't mean a male truck driver considers that the "perfect" lunch.
As for the bag lunch for jury duty, I was called for it a few months back and that's exactly what they did for us. But just because every woman on a diet likes turkey sandwiches doesn't mean a male truck driver considers that the "perfect" lunch.
The Expert
New member
They must not have a lot of applications in your area. In Wayne County there was a 3+ hour wait just to turn in your paperwork and get your prints taken on the computer scanner thingy.
If they interviewed everyone (or even a good percentage) of all the applicants, nobody would ever get approved.
If they interviewed everyone (or even a good percentage) of all the applicants, nobody would ever get approved.
Glad we do not have gun boards here. As far as jury lunches, the first jury I served on way back in 1980 or so they took us all out to lunch at a nice local restaurant with the bailiffs watching over us. Second time a couple of years a go they said, be back at one. Both were just one day trials although the second one did run until 7 PM.
Yeah, that room temperature soda, bag of cool ranch :barf: doritos and PBJ on whitebread really hits the spot. Mmmm.... Good eatin'
Civil Trial:
You have to get up early, miss work, drive downtown, pay to park, sit in a courtroom, listen two windbags ramble-on for a couple hours, try to stay awake, then get locked in a room until everyone agrees (that they don't really care, one way or the other) and that they just want to get home in time to see Deadliest Catch or Cake Boss.
Criminal Trial:
Pretty much the same as above. Except there's usually somebody (with no life) who's recently seen 12 Angry Men and wants to waste everyone's time. This person usually only hurts the person on trial because they annoy the other people wh would have voted not guilty but changed their mind because they want to distance themselves from the Jack Glugman (sp?) wannabe.
Actually, I was just goofing around about the sack lunch. Nowadays, I thought
everyone just ordered-in takeout from somewhere near the courthouse. I'm surprised that places still do the old brown bag lunch anymore. If I heard that crap, I would let it be known how much I'd like pizza and that I would "look favorably" on anyone that may want to pick-up the tab on a large pie.
Civil Trial:
You have to get up early, miss work, drive downtown, pay to park, sit in a courtroom, listen two windbags ramble-on for a couple hours, try to stay awake, then get locked in a room until everyone agrees (that they don't really care, one way or the other) and that they just want to get home in time to see Deadliest Catch or Cake Boss.
Criminal Trial:
Pretty much the same as above. Except there's usually somebody (with no life) who's recently seen 12 Angry Men and wants to waste everyone's time. This person usually only hurts the person on trial because they annoy the other people wh would have voted not guilty but changed their mind because they want to distance themselves from the Jack Glugman (sp?) wannabe.
Actually, I was just goofing around about the sack lunch. Nowadays, I thought
everyone just ordered-in takeout from somewhere near the courthouse. I'm surprised that places still do the old brown bag lunch anymore. If I heard that crap, I would let it be known how much I'd like pizza and that I would "look favorably" on anyone that may want to pick-up the tab on a large pie.
Cheapshooter
New member
I take it that where you live is not a "shall issue" state, but rather a "may issue" state.
At least the Sheriff, and the Prosecutor are (usually) elected officials so you would have recourse (your vote) if they denied your 2nd Amendment Right, but the State Trooper could deny his own mother as a shady character without any repercussions.
If I were forced to accept such a thing, I'd be voting my opinion.
Thank God Ohio doesn't have such nonsense.
If I were forced to accept such a thing, I'd be voting my opinion.
Thank God Ohio doesn't have such nonsense.