Dennis Olson
New member
Why I Endorse Gore
by Zola
I want Gore to win the US Presidential election because he will run the country straight into the ground and get it over with. America doesn't deserve to survive.
A Bush victory would generate false hope and make the death throes painfully slow and tortuous. With a Gore win there will be continuity in collapse. But a Bush victory would create ambiguity in interpretation.
I want Gore to win because otherwise Bush will steal some of the government's money and give it to taxpayers. Frivolous patriots would then gloat that America is a Dictatorship with Compassion.
I want Gore to win because he will bring public pre-school to children and drugs to old people, thus completing the process of turning the entire population into dependent, infantile, whining wards of the government.
I want Gore to win because having taken credit for economic prosperity, he deserves credit also for the following financial collapse and economic depression.
I want Bush to lose because as dumb and flaky as he is, he sometimes seems like a genuinely nice guy, and deserves to spend the next few years going fishing and not being drawn and quartered as would be appropriate for, say, his despicable father.
I want Gore to win so he can take Joe Lieberman to the same Memphis whorehouse Gore has visited throughout his life. A little extra-curricular nooky might do Joe some good.
I want Bush to lose because his oil company was a failure, while Gore made Occidental Petroleum a flourishing success, and also invented Arm & Hammer baking soda.
I want Gore to win because Gore, like Clinton before him, will be great for Laissez Faire City business. With Gore around, reinventing the Internet as the ultimate spy and control apparatus, people will throng to LFC privacy and anonymity products, clinging to the last vestige of hope that somewhere, somewhere else, there might be people who keep what they earn instead of giving it to Larry Summers.
I'm for Gore because he's for the working man, like the chauffeur who drove him to private school in a limo.
Gore must win because Bush will take away all of the wealth and give it to the rich, and then make people watch sex and violence on video while they stand in line to receive their daily ration of bread from genetically modified grain.
I want Gore to win because he whipped Ralph Nader and Pat Buchanan in live public debate.
I want Gore to win because having promised Free Government Stuff to almost every interest group in America, I look forward to watching him pay for it by invading Mexico and seizing the oil.
I want Gore to win so that liberals can have four more years of Democrat Drug Wars crammed down their throats while they sit around whining about Iran-Contra.
I want Gore to win so that he and Hillary can release Jonathan Pollard and send him to Israel as a conquering spy-hero, while Arab-Americans are placed in concentration camps where they belong.
I want Gore to win so American voters—imbibing TV-manufactured government reality while masturbating over stock certificates and giving Clinton a high job rating—will get what they deserve. They deserve Gore. Gore deserves them.
I want Gore to win because otherwise Bush will give guns to right-wing Confederate flag-waving Republicans, instead of turning them all over to the Chinese army where they belong.
Gore deserves to win because even though he is as dumb as Bush is, Gore is more convincing when he pretends to believe his own gibberish.
If Bush were to win, Cheney, Powell, and all the old Bush warfare-welfare crowd will make themselves rich dealing arms indiscriminately around the world. The Gore-Clinton crowd will more cleanly and efficiently turn the same weapons over to the Chinese for political favors.
I want Gore to win because under the 20-year US presidential curse, he will be assassinated. President Lieberman will then nominate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as vice-president and she will be confirmed. When Lieberman inevitably resigns due to scandal, Hillary will become President.
With Hillary as President, expatriates can sit in front of the TV and eat popcorn and cheer on the Chinese missiles as the latter turn some American cities into radioactive waste.
Next they can thoughtfully sip their cokes as troop transport ships arrive in Long Beach harbor to carry away the throngs of American coolie-slaves to work on Manchurian railroads.
Then, in a poignant finale, as teeth sink into sweet chocolate, the eye of the camera will reveal a solitary figure clothed in sackcloth and ashes, with arms raised, beseeching the Lord to return his people home from their Asian exile. And they will nod with understanding as an American Secret Service agent, wearing a Chinese army uniform, steps up behind the figure and compassionately puts a bullet through Lieberman's brain.
Go Gore. Win this one for the Gipper. We're counting on you.
from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 4, No 41, October 9, 2000
http://www.zolatimes.com/V4.41/endorse_gore.html
by Zola
I want Gore to win the US Presidential election because he will run the country straight into the ground and get it over with. America doesn't deserve to survive.
A Bush victory would generate false hope and make the death throes painfully slow and tortuous. With a Gore win there will be continuity in collapse. But a Bush victory would create ambiguity in interpretation.
I want Gore to win because otherwise Bush will steal some of the government's money and give it to taxpayers. Frivolous patriots would then gloat that America is a Dictatorship with Compassion.
I want Gore to win because he will bring public pre-school to children and drugs to old people, thus completing the process of turning the entire population into dependent, infantile, whining wards of the government.
I want Gore to win because having taken credit for economic prosperity, he deserves credit also for the following financial collapse and economic depression.
I want Bush to lose because as dumb and flaky as he is, he sometimes seems like a genuinely nice guy, and deserves to spend the next few years going fishing and not being drawn and quartered as would be appropriate for, say, his despicable father.
I want Gore to win so he can take Joe Lieberman to the same Memphis whorehouse Gore has visited throughout his life. A little extra-curricular nooky might do Joe some good.
I want Bush to lose because his oil company was a failure, while Gore made Occidental Petroleum a flourishing success, and also invented Arm & Hammer baking soda.
I want Gore to win because Gore, like Clinton before him, will be great for Laissez Faire City business. With Gore around, reinventing the Internet as the ultimate spy and control apparatus, people will throng to LFC privacy and anonymity products, clinging to the last vestige of hope that somewhere, somewhere else, there might be people who keep what they earn instead of giving it to Larry Summers.
I'm for Gore because he's for the working man, like the chauffeur who drove him to private school in a limo.
Gore must win because Bush will take away all of the wealth and give it to the rich, and then make people watch sex and violence on video while they stand in line to receive their daily ration of bread from genetically modified grain.
I want Gore to win because he whipped Ralph Nader and Pat Buchanan in live public debate.
I want Gore to win because having promised Free Government Stuff to almost every interest group in America, I look forward to watching him pay for it by invading Mexico and seizing the oil.
I want Gore to win so that liberals can have four more years of Democrat Drug Wars crammed down their throats while they sit around whining about Iran-Contra.
I want Gore to win so that he and Hillary can release Jonathan Pollard and send him to Israel as a conquering spy-hero, while Arab-Americans are placed in concentration camps where they belong.
I want Gore to win so American voters—imbibing TV-manufactured government reality while masturbating over stock certificates and giving Clinton a high job rating—will get what they deserve. They deserve Gore. Gore deserves them.
I want Gore to win because otherwise Bush will give guns to right-wing Confederate flag-waving Republicans, instead of turning them all over to the Chinese army where they belong.
Gore deserves to win because even though he is as dumb as Bush is, Gore is more convincing when he pretends to believe his own gibberish.
If Bush were to win, Cheney, Powell, and all the old Bush warfare-welfare crowd will make themselves rich dealing arms indiscriminately around the world. The Gore-Clinton crowd will more cleanly and efficiently turn the same weapons over to the Chinese for political favors.
I want Gore to win because under the 20-year US presidential curse, he will be assassinated. President Lieberman will then nominate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as vice-president and she will be confirmed. When Lieberman inevitably resigns due to scandal, Hillary will become President.
With Hillary as President, expatriates can sit in front of the TV and eat popcorn and cheer on the Chinese missiles as the latter turn some American cities into radioactive waste.
Next they can thoughtfully sip their cokes as troop transport ships arrive in Long Beach harbor to carry away the throngs of American coolie-slaves to work on Manchurian railroads.
Then, in a poignant finale, as teeth sink into sweet chocolate, the eye of the camera will reveal a solitary figure clothed in sackcloth and ashes, with arms raised, beseeching the Lord to return his people home from their Asian exile. And they will nod with understanding as an American Secret Service agent, wearing a Chinese army uniform, steps up behind the figure and compassionately puts a bullet through Lieberman's brain.
Go Gore. Win this one for the Gipper. We're counting on you.
from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 4, No 41, October 9, 2000
http://www.zolatimes.com/V4.41/endorse_gore.html
