Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Political Humor

BigG

New member
Guys, hope you like this as much as I did. It came off my email this a.m.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??

VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.


GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide when and how they want to cross it. The government needs to stop interfering with the chickens so they can cross the road.


SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.


SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time animals because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road built by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay. You see, the chicken was going to the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side" . That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!


ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.,
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of Western aggression and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
We have just released Microsoft eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Requires Internet Explorer 5.5.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. Define "chicken".

GEORGE BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The Road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to step on him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt crosseth the road." And the chicken did crosseth the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
:P

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o I raised my hand to eye level, like pointing a finger, and fired. Wild Bill Hickok
 
Chuck Schumer - 1. The road - as written in the constitution - is not an individual road, but a collective road. No chicken has a right to cross this road or any other road without membership in a Nation Guard unit - and then only when performing duties directly related to his National Guard service.

2. (in congressional road control hearings) "I ask you, Mr. Chicken, where do your road rights end? Is a dirt road guaranteed in the constitution? Is a two lane blacktop guaranteed to you? Does you individual road right extend to interstate highways?
 
Around here, the only sensible answer to that question is, "To show the possum it could be done."

pax


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"Is there anything wrong with a woman preferring the dignity of an armed citizen? I don't like to be coddled and I don't like to be treated like a minor child. So I waive immunity and claim my right -- I go armed." -- Longcourt Phyllis in Beyond This Horizon by Robert Heinlein
 
Bill Clinton: I did not have inappropriate sexual relations with THAT chicken...

Hillary Clinton: This is just part of the vast right chicken wing conspiracy...

Al Gore: I invented chickens. They came before the egg, which I also invented.



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Smith & Wesson is dead to me.

If you want a Smith & Wesson, buy USED!
 
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