The Browning High-Power always felt comfortable to me. I also like HK's, specifically the P7M8, but it does kick more than my old Browning(just as accurate, though!)and is smaller for carry. If you have small hands, the Browning is probably the smallest gripped, metal framed, double column 9mm out there today.
It wasn't very popular, but the colt Government model in 9mm with the steel frame was a real pussycat to shoot. I understand that Sig made the 220 in 9mm, probably that one would be nice too.
The Sig 229 in 9mm has a reputation for being sweet to shoot, that's a compact double stack pistol with a steel frame, and a special trigger for small hands is available from the factory for this pistol. If you can find one, Steyr made a pistol called the GB that was a steel framed, gas operated 9mm, and it also had a reputation for being a soft shooter if I remember right. Hope some of this helps you out.
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With my shield or on it...