Politics/Elections Miscellaneous
Source: e-mail
Published: 101700 Author: UNK
Posted on 10/16/2000 14:13:37 PDT by VA Voter
What is a Goron?
1. Gorons sincerely believe that Vice President Gore is a true environmentalist, when he has an environmental disaster on his own farm: a polluting zinc mine, from which he received $500,000 of income last year.
2. Gorons likewise believe that the VP is anti-smoking and anti-tobacco when he has operated a tobacco farm for decades and accepted government subsidies.
3. Gorons truly believe that Gore is a Vietnam war hero, when in fact he was placed by family influence in a "cushy" correspondent's job and the only action he saw was that of his Brownie camera! (and his bong)
4. Gorons actually believe that Mr. Gore is justified in illegally raising political funds from the Office of the VP, simply because the Vanderbilt Law educated VP claims he was ignorant of the illegality.
5. Gorons further believe that it was OK for Al to accept large sums of political money from China through Buddhist monks who had taken vows of poverty, since he again claimed ignorance.
6. Gorons also believe that the man who claimed to "invent the Internet" would be so computationally ignorant that he could lose weeks of potentially incriminating e-mail!
7. Gorons, incredibly, believe Gore's claim that he and Tipper were the models for the book and movie, "Love Story" even though the book's author, Erich Segal, says not.
8. Gorons, amazingly, believe that Gore will be the consumer's champion against high gasoline prices although Gore holds a million dollars in Occidental Petroleum stock.
9. Gorons applaud Mr. Lieberman's open rejection of President Clinton's immorality, but believe it was fine for Mr. Gore to remain silent on the subject, while simultaneously declaring Mr. Clinton "one of the greatest Presidents of our history."
10. Gorons believe that Al Gore is an effective leader, when they won't bother to look at his record as a Tennessee Senator, a record so ineffective that it has led to the election of Republicans as BOTH of Tennessee's Senators!
11. Gorons hold the belief that Gore is a compassionate man who will be the working man's friend, in spite of the eviction notice he served to the poor family who complained about the conditions of the run down slum house that he was renting to them.
CAUTIONARY NOTE: Medical researchers acknowledge that Gorons are generally harmless, except when allowed into a voting booth. There, unfortunately, overcome by their gullibility syndrome, they are apt to actually vote for Gore! They should be carefully protected from their ailment, since it may be harmful to their well-being, yours, mine and that of the USA.
Therefore, PLEASE, heed the Surgeon General's warning, reach out to aid the Gorons in overcoming the syndrome, and, PLEASE, pass this on to your normal friends, who might also know Gorons who need immediate treatment.
Source: e-mail
Published: 101700 Author: UNK
Posted on 10/16/2000 14:13:37 PDT by VA Voter
What is a Goron?
1. Gorons sincerely believe that Vice President Gore is a true environmentalist, when he has an environmental disaster on his own farm: a polluting zinc mine, from which he received $500,000 of income last year.
2. Gorons likewise believe that the VP is anti-smoking and anti-tobacco when he has operated a tobacco farm for decades and accepted government subsidies.
3. Gorons truly believe that Gore is a Vietnam war hero, when in fact he was placed by family influence in a "cushy" correspondent's job and the only action he saw was that of his Brownie camera! (and his bong)
4. Gorons actually believe that Mr. Gore is justified in illegally raising political funds from the Office of the VP, simply because the Vanderbilt Law educated VP claims he was ignorant of the illegality.
5. Gorons further believe that it was OK for Al to accept large sums of political money from China through Buddhist monks who had taken vows of poverty, since he again claimed ignorance.
6. Gorons also believe that the man who claimed to "invent the Internet" would be so computationally ignorant that he could lose weeks of potentially incriminating e-mail!
7. Gorons, incredibly, believe Gore's claim that he and Tipper were the models for the book and movie, "Love Story" even though the book's author, Erich Segal, says not.
8. Gorons, amazingly, believe that Gore will be the consumer's champion against high gasoline prices although Gore holds a million dollars in Occidental Petroleum stock.
9. Gorons applaud Mr. Lieberman's open rejection of President Clinton's immorality, but believe it was fine for Mr. Gore to remain silent on the subject, while simultaneously declaring Mr. Clinton "one of the greatest Presidents of our history."
10. Gorons believe that Al Gore is an effective leader, when they won't bother to look at his record as a Tennessee Senator, a record so ineffective that it has led to the election of Republicans as BOTH of Tennessee's Senators!
11. Gorons hold the belief that Gore is a compassionate man who will be the working man's friend, in spite of the eviction notice he served to the poor family who complained about the conditions of the run down slum house that he was renting to them.
CAUTIONARY NOTE: Medical researchers acknowledge that Gorons are generally harmless, except when allowed into a voting booth. There, unfortunately, overcome by their gullibility syndrome, they are apt to actually vote for Gore! They should be carefully protected from their ailment, since it may be harmful to their well-being, yours, mine and that of the USA.
Therefore, PLEASE, heed the Surgeon General's warning, reach out to aid the Gorons in overcoming the syndrome, and, PLEASE, pass this on to your normal friends, who might also know Gorons who need immediate treatment.