What if pulled over but not the driver?

P

payne

New member
I know that alot of you always give your CCP to the officer and inform him or her verbally that you're armed. I have done this myself. but this situation occured to me.

The other day I was riding in the car from Alabama to Tenneesse to visit Amish country. I was packing as usual. My soon to be mother in law was driving with wife to be in passenger seat. I don't care for mother in law to know I carry because it would freak her out major! Future wife knows I pack though. Now, if we were pulled over do I have to tell the officer I'm armed? I know I don't in Tenneesse but if we were in a state that requires it would i have to since im not driving the car. This is an issue because I may end up taking a trip though a state with mom in law to be and wife to be that requires you to inform the officer you are armed when stopped. I again wont be driving.

Of course I will inform the officer if I'm required to by law even though im not driving much to my later dismay of the mom going on a rant, but If i don't have to because im not driving, then all is good and no b*tching from the mother in law to be. Thank you all! :)
 
Depends. If the officer asks for your ID, give him both your OL and CDW license. Follow the officers directions. Show them your empty hands. I have not had a LEO ever show much interest in me as a passenger. The old line of no speedee, no tickee applies though. IOWs, don't call attention to your vehicle by breaking the law. If you drive up on a DUI checkpoint, follow the officers directions and give them both licenses. I don't suggest, "I have a gun" as a proper greeting for a LEO.
 
If you're just sitting in the shotgun seat, fine... Dig out your wallet ahead of time,etc... If you're asked to get out of the car, odds are the cop may want to do terry frisk on you. At that point, I would advise the officer of the concealed carry status, and ask for instructions. You do NOT want to surprise him.

MOST officers see ccw as immediate evidence that you are not a crook, so it's generally a good thing. Some will hassle you.
 
Problem now or in future

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."

Forget the problems with LEO's for the moment. You have a much bigger and more personal problem on your hands.

Suggestion for peace and tranquillity later on: Let Mother-in-law-to-be know NOW; get the freaking out, over with. If your intended bride sides w/her mother, she wasn't meant for you anyhow. Better to know that before the wedding. Tell your bride your intention before you tell her mother; your bride doesn't need stress like that hitting her unprepared.

The longer you let this go, the worse will be the reaction.

Communication is the essence of a meaningful relationship.
 
If you weren't driving then the LEO is not addressing you so keep quiet so they can attend to their business. If he turns his attention to you then you have to obey the law of the state.
Now for the second problem of the ranting Mom-to-be, if you are riding in back and she is driving then most likely it's her car. If that's the case you may not have to listen to her rant because you may find yourself standing on the side of the road. You best clear this up before going in her house or getting in her car. Your rights become secondary to hers on/in her property. If you don't like that then stay off/out her property. Remember she is entitled to her rights just as you are to yours.
 
...when first we practice to deceive...
Click to expand...

I disagree. I think it's entirely appropriate to consider carefully who you tell that you carry. I don't feel any obligation to let a person know that I carry if I don't have a compelling reason to do so or I don't trust the person well enough to have that information.

Just because this person is going to be payne's mother in law, doesn't mean he's obligated to disclose all his personal secrets to her. Especially if he's got a good feeling about how she'll react. I just don't buy that 'total disclosure' is required to make a relationship with your mother in law work. Presumably there are other aspects of his life he wouldn't discuss with her either.

As far as the possibility of a police contact goes, how about printing a business sized card to hand the officer along with your license and permit that says something along the lines of "Others with me are not aware that I carry concealed, if we can handle this discretely I would appreciate it." The officer may or may not read the card and may or may not help you out, but if you don't ask...
 
musher, I wasn't knocking your suggestion - rather merely makin a joke. :)

I think your suggestion is very imaginative. I might change the verbiage a tad but that's just me (i.e. I'd mention that I'm permitted to carry, not just that I carry concealed weapons). :D
 
well trip, it might be a bit wordy. How about

I'VE GOT A GUN!
DON'T SAY ANYTHING

in nice bold letters centered on the card.

That ought to do the trick, I imagine :eek:
 
When my wife and I were dating, I had the "armed encounter" with my MIL.

She was alarmed with the notion that I was taking her baby out and felt the need to be armed. She assumed thta we were going somewhere "dangerous".

I explained to her that I was armed to protect something precious to both of us, and while I was not "looking for trouble" should some find us, her daughter would be in the presence of and armed guard.

About a week later, she took to the notion that I should be frisked before leaving the house to ensure that I WAS carrying.

It is all in the presentation.

Also, I wouldn't tell the officer unless direct interaction with him was necessary...ie "step out of the car", "let's see some ID", "hands up!"
 
How about "don't ask, don't tell?"

My practice is unless the officer specifically asks me, I don't tell. The only time I had the issue come up was during a traffic stop (plate expired by one day) when the officer saw my CCW in my wallet (it is pink and easily spotted). He asked if I was armed, I said "Yes, sir, I am," he asked where the gun was located, I told him it was in my "planner" on the front passenger seat - and that was it. No problemo!

As far as telling the mother-in-law, I would not; simply put, it is not her business. My father-in-law is a liberal who thinks people who carry are "paranoid and afraid." I am carrying every time we are at his house. My wife's best girlfriend from college is a dyed in the wool Demosocialist who lives in a large city. Whenever we visit, I am carrying, but don't tell.

If your mother-in-law is an irrational, close-minded gun phobic liberal, you won't change her mind on this issue, nor will you get her blessing. The only hope of changing her mind seems to be real-world experience: You, your wife and your mother-in-law are confronted by a thug; you draw your weapon, ending the potential attack or robbery (over 98% of situations like this are resolved with no shots fired). Sometimes this will result in the gun hater rethinking their outlook, but sometimes not.

Everyone has to decide how to deal with antigun family and friends; for me, "don't ask, don't tell" works.
 
The crucial point...

that seems to have been missed in my post is to fully disclose to your bride, before disclosing to the intended MIL. If the intended bride sides with her mom against you, I repeat, she wasn't meant for you.

You guys who aren't married will scoff at this, but when you marry a girl, you marry her whole family. You ARE related to them. They DO count in your calculations for the rest of your life. Like 'em or not. It is, after all, your bride's mother and father--she's lived with them most of her life up to this point, and they raised her and taught her their values.

If there's going to be any controversy, on any subject, between you and your in-laws, you gotta know where your wife stands before starting. If it's a really important point to you or your intended, like CCW, and she opposes you heavily, then I repeat, she's not for you.

I guess I'd relent a little on informing the in-laws if I had in-laws like Progunner 1957's, but I'd still sound out the bride BEFORE the wedding, and make sure she and I agree or can live with a compromise, on all the important points of our proposed lifestyle together.

Failure to do this sort of thing accounts in part for our shameful 50% divorce rate in this country. I say that as one happily married for 37 years now to my college sweetheart. So I think I can claim BTDT status.
 
I agree with SmokeyJoe 150% on this one. Luckily, CCW (guns in general for that matter) aren't an issue in either family (one of the first times I met her whole family was when we all went shooting out in the desert! :eek: Luckily I wasn't the target!)

Be it CCW, religion, kids, political affiliation, make sure you are completely on the same page, or at least at a compromise (if that is possible) beforehand! It was definately an issue with my ex: she was a liberal Jewish New Yorker, and I was a conservative southerner! (Actually the fact she cheated on me was what contributed to our divorce).
 
Alright guys. The wife to be does know I carry (as stated in the 1st post end of 4th line 2nd paragraph) and dosen't have a problem with it. Heck! She goes out to the pasture with me and shoots my guns with me. She's very cool about it. She doesn't tell her mom that i carry either because of the rant that could possably come. Her brother and father are both hunters. No handhuns i mind you though. The mother in law to be has said before "Lord Jesse, you and these guns make me nervous.

Oh, and to address an issue stated earlier. The car was not the mother in law's but my wife to be's car. So, she would have no right to have me out of the car and walking because it isn't her's. Bride to be will most definatly side with me over such an issue.

I believe that it's good practice to limit the people who know you carry. Only reason my parents know i carry is one day my mom patted my back and was like, "What's that?" I don't ask her family members about their personal and private decisions like, "Hey mom, what kinda bra ya got on under there?" Of course it would be my wife's business, but her family's, i think not. That's unless im forced to disclose that info to an officer in front of them, just like in the above described situation.

Musher, i like the idea a lot. I'll think about the wording. I see its usefulness.
Well, thanks for the replies guys. I'll take the suggestions into consideration.
 
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