We are Responsible.
Yes TFL folks know this. Recent events have really proven our belief system. We tend to get blue in the face trying to “change others”. The reality is – the only person that can change a person – is that person themselves.
Sometimes it takes the tragedy of another, or more sadly the person themselves are the victim.
There are those times one has to be the role model, lead by example; other times one just has to step in and just take charge.
Mom is 75 years old, has Peripheral Neuropathy in both feet, add arthritis, add Asthma, and the normal degeneration that happens with just living until one is 75.
I keep tabs on Mom, I seem to be the only family that really does, and really knows what all is going on with her. I have researched all her meds, ailments and if I did not actually take her to the Doctor, I typed out all the questions for her to ask.
Mom, whether you like it or not YOU are responsible for keeping tabs on your well being
Her rebuttal was something to the effect “well the kids are supposed to…”
Sorry mom, what is supposed to be, and what the actual results are – do not always follow a, societal, or cultural norm or more.
I probably should not have made a wisecrack about her having voted Democratic somewhere in her past; I mean I did try to raise her right and all.
Role reversal, the look I got for stating, yet again Personal Responsibility , and she took the folder with all her Scripts, Trade Name/ Generic Name, Dosages, reactions, side effects, and the records for 30 days (log I had her keep) of every ache, pain, good day, bad day – you name it, and headed off to see the Doctor.
You thought I was sending her off to the Principal’s Office.
Well seems the Doctor did take her off a med that I had suspicions about, and changed some other stuff. She really hated to tell me that part too. I suggested she buy herself a Steak with the savings on not having to buy that med anymore.
She also fussed about my harping she get the Garage Door Automated. I fussed about “Risk for Falls” and reminded her of what the Doctors and Nurses had cautioned about. I tossed in the reminder her neighborhood has gone downhill. This was a Security Measure, Getting into and out of a vehicle is a dangerous time for anyone. Especially for a Geriatric, with a Handicapped Hang Tag.
She did not fuss after the Automation was done, it was raining pretty hard the first time she used it. Mumbled something about she should have done this years ago. I reminded her she did not need to “zip when she should zag” and fall and break a hip. She has seen the results of this with some friends; she does not want to end up like them.
She forgot all about the fact she hated the idea of exterior keypad, seems one day the wind shut her door, locking her keys inside the car. She "said" she was going to "run right in and run back out", It didn't pan out as planned. She Paniced at first, them remembered the blasted key pad.
Use the key pad to gain entry to hidden door key in garage, let herself in thru kitchen door, and got her extra car key. Boy did she hate telling that ordeal. It was worse than me explaining why washed the horny toad in the washer as a kid. The word “accident” didn’t’ work for me back then…
The day I was running her around town, pulled up to the Laz-Y-Boy place with no warning – I got “that look”. I really got “that look” when I had her sit into a Power Assisted Chair. Very Attractive sales lady answered all the questions Mom had. Then she turned to me “why did you bring her in here for a power assisted chair?” Seems mom really wanted to hear my answer as well.
Work smarter not harder. It is wise not to go the work, instead bring the work to you. Meaning the hard part is getting down into a chair, and the thought of getting up and out of one is mentally exhausting, not to mention Risk for Injuries.
Heck I think every home should have one, expectant moms, Appendectomies, Arthritis, knee surgeries [ I had double knee surgery once, I wished I had had one] , back , hip…too many to mention.
The chair came in and she forgot all about the monies, including the extra monies for the Micro Fiber. Way I figure it, and what I told her, you are going to use this everyday, you might as well get something that you like and fits you. Only other thing you spend more time in is a bed – about a third of one’s life in spent in a bed.
Seems actually being able to adjust the chair so back, hips, are in better alignment - her hips don't hurt. She can also adjust her legs to a comfortable position to aid in circulation.
Well she had other “home improvements” on her mind, I guess between Television, AARP, Sunday School and whatever else a 75 year old lady living by herself is exposed to…
She really was not as enthused with the beefing up with security around the house. Moms don’t get all warm and fuzzy about doors, locks, windows being tweaked , motion detector lights, cell phones, and all sorts of other stuff I did.
Well , there was that comment that she really didn’t know I could pot a plant that well, and where did I learn to cook Pork Loin like that.
I reminded her of some friends just a stones throw from her being attacked in the home, in the carport.
“Oh”.
Mom – where is the shotgun I gave you?
Forget gun locks folks, there was no way any of the grandkids was going to find the durn thing when they came to visit not long ago. Find the ammo, much less get a round chambered and fire it. I consider myself pretty sharp on some matters, I was plumb worn out, and by the time I finally got to the gun. It was easier to get ammo from my truck than to even attempt to find hers to laod it up.
I had to go into the Garage to clean and lube it too…Don't matter if I am 50 years old, I am going to use the Garage, use "those" old newpapers and not use up all the paper towels...
I have been reminding her, pointing out to her all sorts of Awareness matters. I find spent brass down the road, gunshots often, sirens and lights are what you set the clocks by...when I put in her new car battery recently I was approached by some folks and asked if I would loan the toolbox and all to them.
I guess no matter how old one gets to be -a Mom is going to peek out the curtains to check on their child. They will still fuss at you for telling a lie. So I lied about the tools being rental, and the “company of folks” in the house. I told mom the truth when she asked why I had her shotgun in the garage, concealed to them, handy to me.
I was not planning on using it for a “cheater bar” just to install a battery…
“Were you, you know….” Yeah mom I was CCWing, and had two spare mags”.
“But…but…they came into the yard, and …and…”
“Yep – neighborhood changed in the last 28 years a wee bit Mom”
Mom is the only family that really knows for sure I CCW
She needed gas in her car today, I said I would go get it and I did. Keep reminding her of car-jackings, how folks are watching folks at parking lots, car theft, and car theft with purses and such.
“Mom, do not be where trouble might be”.
I came back, garaged her car. I had some more errands to run for her and some for myself, I consolidated trips with gas being $2.86 a gallon. I prefer to drive my truck anyway...
Mom asked how it went, were folks out ….
The grocery store three blocks, just down and around the corner has a gas station too.
While I was in the store, some lady parked in the Handicapped spot, opened her car, and while using a walker to get the groceries from buggy to her car- some punks hopped in and drove away with her car, her purse…The armed security guy was on his cell phone last I observed , sitting down in front of the courtesy booth talking about fishing.
Before I could find out what he was going to share in his “observe and report”, two more cars were taken at the gas station. Seems the folks prepaid, filled up, left purses in car/ keys in ignition, and when they went to get their change, folks just jumped in and took off.
I went to another Shopping area; two more cars were taken in Parking lots, seems folks were again loading up, keys in the ignition, cars running to cool them, and while folks loaded the vehicles, and folks hopped in and took off.
I then hear two cars were stolen within 4 blocks of Mom’s neighborhood out of driveways, folks washing and vacuuming them.
"This all happened this afternoon?" - she replied...thinking how she parks in that handicaped spot, and how last time I rode with her - I made suggestions about not doing some things. Like letting the car cool off while she loads groceries from buggy to car...
Mom is really considering my idea of having the Pharmacist deliver her meds, I mean there is no charge for her from the Mom&Pop Pharmacy, though a couple of buck for a tip would be appreciated , family does the deliveries, good folks and she know them.
Couple of bucks cheaper than time, gas, getting knocked in the head and well they don’t make mom’s paid for Olds anymore…
“You know I am old and all, maybe it is okay if I work smarter and not harder and let folks deliver meds to me, especially with it going to be getting darker sooner before long…”.
Yep, We are Responsible.
Parents, close friends, elderly neighbors - we all have them, might not hurt to visit and have a cup of coffee with them.
Now where is the book on how to raise parents?
Steve
Yes TFL folks know this. Recent events have really proven our belief system. We tend to get blue in the face trying to “change others”. The reality is – the only person that can change a person – is that person themselves.
Sometimes it takes the tragedy of another, or more sadly the person themselves are the victim.
There are those times one has to be the role model, lead by example; other times one just has to step in and just take charge.
Mom is 75 years old, has Peripheral Neuropathy in both feet, add arthritis, add Asthma, and the normal degeneration that happens with just living until one is 75.
I keep tabs on Mom, I seem to be the only family that really does, and really knows what all is going on with her. I have researched all her meds, ailments and if I did not actually take her to the Doctor, I typed out all the questions for her to ask.
Mom, whether you like it or not YOU are responsible for keeping tabs on your well being
Her rebuttal was something to the effect “well the kids are supposed to…”
Sorry mom, what is supposed to be, and what the actual results are – do not always follow a, societal, or cultural norm or more.
I probably should not have made a wisecrack about her having voted Democratic somewhere in her past; I mean I did try to raise her right and all.
Role reversal, the look I got for stating, yet again Personal Responsibility , and she took the folder with all her Scripts, Trade Name/ Generic Name, Dosages, reactions, side effects, and the records for 30 days (log I had her keep) of every ache, pain, good day, bad day – you name it, and headed off to see the Doctor.
You thought I was sending her off to the Principal’s Office.
Well seems the Doctor did take her off a med that I had suspicions about, and changed some other stuff. She really hated to tell me that part too. I suggested she buy herself a Steak with the savings on not having to buy that med anymore.
She also fussed about my harping she get the Garage Door Automated. I fussed about “Risk for Falls” and reminded her of what the Doctors and Nurses had cautioned about. I tossed in the reminder her neighborhood has gone downhill. This was a Security Measure, Getting into and out of a vehicle is a dangerous time for anyone. Especially for a Geriatric, with a Handicapped Hang Tag.
She did not fuss after the Automation was done, it was raining pretty hard the first time she used it. Mumbled something about she should have done this years ago. I reminded her she did not need to “zip when she should zag” and fall and break a hip. She has seen the results of this with some friends; she does not want to end up like them.
She forgot all about the fact she hated the idea of exterior keypad, seems one day the wind shut her door, locking her keys inside the car. She "said" she was going to "run right in and run back out", It didn't pan out as planned. She Paniced at first, them remembered the blasted key pad.
Use the key pad to gain entry to hidden door key in garage, let herself in thru kitchen door, and got her extra car key. Boy did she hate telling that ordeal. It was worse than me explaining why washed the horny toad in the washer as a kid. The word “accident” didn’t’ work for me back then…
The day I was running her around town, pulled up to the Laz-Y-Boy place with no warning – I got “that look”. I really got “that look” when I had her sit into a Power Assisted Chair. Very Attractive sales lady answered all the questions Mom had. Then she turned to me “why did you bring her in here for a power assisted chair?” Seems mom really wanted to hear my answer as well.
Work smarter not harder. It is wise not to go the work, instead bring the work to you. Meaning the hard part is getting down into a chair, and the thought of getting up and out of one is mentally exhausting, not to mention Risk for Injuries.
Heck I think every home should have one, expectant moms, Appendectomies, Arthritis, knee surgeries [ I had double knee surgery once, I wished I had had one] , back , hip…too many to mention.
The chair came in and she forgot all about the monies, including the extra monies for the Micro Fiber. Way I figure it, and what I told her, you are going to use this everyday, you might as well get something that you like and fits you. Only other thing you spend more time in is a bed – about a third of one’s life in spent in a bed.
Seems actually being able to adjust the chair so back, hips, are in better alignment - her hips don't hurt. She can also adjust her legs to a comfortable position to aid in circulation.
Well she had other “home improvements” on her mind, I guess between Television, AARP, Sunday School and whatever else a 75 year old lady living by herself is exposed to…
She really was not as enthused with the beefing up with security around the house. Moms don’t get all warm and fuzzy about doors, locks, windows being tweaked , motion detector lights, cell phones, and all sorts of other stuff I did.
Well , there was that comment that she really didn’t know I could pot a plant that well, and where did I learn to cook Pork Loin like that.
I reminded her of some friends just a stones throw from her being attacked in the home, in the carport.
“Oh”.
Mom – where is the shotgun I gave you?
Forget gun locks folks, there was no way any of the grandkids was going to find the durn thing when they came to visit not long ago. Find the ammo, much less get a round chambered and fire it. I consider myself pretty sharp on some matters, I was plumb worn out, and by the time I finally got to the gun. It was easier to get ammo from my truck than to even attempt to find hers to laod it up.
I had to go into the Garage to clean and lube it too…Don't matter if I am 50 years old, I am going to use the Garage, use "those" old newpapers and not use up all the paper towels...
I have been reminding her, pointing out to her all sorts of Awareness matters. I find spent brass down the road, gunshots often, sirens and lights are what you set the clocks by...when I put in her new car battery recently I was approached by some folks and asked if I would loan the toolbox and all to them.
I guess no matter how old one gets to be -a Mom is going to peek out the curtains to check on their child. They will still fuss at you for telling a lie. So I lied about the tools being rental, and the “company of folks” in the house. I told mom the truth when she asked why I had her shotgun in the garage, concealed to them, handy to me.
I was not planning on using it for a “cheater bar” just to install a battery…
“Were you, you know….” Yeah mom I was CCWing, and had two spare mags”.
“But…but…they came into the yard, and …and…”
“Yep – neighborhood changed in the last 28 years a wee bit Mom”
Mom is the only family that really knows for sure I CCW
She needed gas in her car today, I said I would go get it and I did. Keep reminding her of car-jackings, how folks are watching folks at parking lots, car theft, and car theft with purses and such.
“Mom, do not be where trouble might be”.
I came back, garaged her car. I had some more errands to run for her and some for myself, I consolidated trips with gas being $2.86 a gallon. I prefer to drive my truck anyway...
Mom asked how it went, were folks out ….
The grocery store three blocks, just down and around the corner has a gas station too.
While I was in the store, some lady parked in the Handicapped spot, opened her car, and while using a walker to get the groceries from buggy to her car- some punks hopped in and drove away with her car, her purse…The armed security guy was on his cell phone last I observed , sitting down in front of the courtesy booth talking about fishing.
Before I could find out what he was going to share in his “observe and report”, two more cars were taken at the gas station. Seems the folks prepaid, filled up, left purses in car/ keys in ignition, and when they went to get their change, folks just jumped in and took off.
I went to another Shopping area; two more cars were taken in Parking lots, seems folks were again loading up, keys in the ignition, cars running to cool them, and while folks loaded the vehicles, and folks hopped in and took off.
I then hear two cars were stolen within 4 blocks of Mom’s neighborhood out of driveways, folks washing and vacuuming them.
"This all happened this afternoon?" - she replied...thinking how she parks in that handicaped spot, and how last time I rode with her - I made suggestions about not doing some things. Like letting the car cool off while she loads groceries from buggy to car...
Mom is really considering my idea of having the Pharmacist deliver her meds, I mean there is no charge for her from the Mom&Pop Pharmacy, though a couple of buck for a tip would be appreciated , family does the deliveries, good folks and she know them.
Couple of bucks cheaper than time, gas, getting knocked in the head and well they don’t make mom’s paid for Olds anymore…
“You know I am old and all, maybe it is okay if I work smarter and not harder and let folks deliver meds to me, especially with it going to be getting darker sooner before long…”.
Yep, We are Responsible.
Parents, close friends, elderly neighbors - we all have them, might not hurt to visit and have a cup of coffee with them.
Now where is the book on how to raise parents?
Steve
