In the past, when loud noises that were certainly NOT burgulars happened in my house, I've cleared it by leaping from bed, leaving my bedside pistol in the very capable hands of the mattress, done a tactical roll of chaotic misstep down my "Spiral staircase" to avoid being engaged by any hostiles, and arrived in my living room quite sparse on clothing and screaming obscenities while nursing the scratches, bruises, and rug burn I picked up during my chaotic decent of the stairs, while simultaneously daring any adversary to try to mach wits with me in my groggy state.
Fortunately, my invaders so far have been a poster falling off the wall, and a tree slapping the side of my house with a stray branch.
In reality, If I was awake enough to actually know what was going on, I'd grab my pistol and cellphone and head to the restroom - There's only one way in, so I can control access, and I can see once any invaders leave via the front door, which is directly under the bathroom window. I might even be able to hit them with something within reach of my location in the bathroom. With my luck, I'll be groggy enough to fling my pistol out the window at them.
At least I admit my shortcomings.