Wynterbourne
New member
One of my supervisors, my wife, and myself had a long conversation over dinner a little over a week ago. During the course of our conversation my manager commented that I seemed a bit quirky. Not in a bad way, mind you, but that I didn't seem to do things the way that most people do.
After dinner I asked my wife, who'd apparently spoken with them about this in passing previously. She said that they'd noted that I don't walk down the stairs at work like the rest of the call center. When I go down the stairs, which are in an L-shape, I tend to turn so I can look down the stairs past the landing. When I go down past the landing, I tend to look on both the right and left hand side of the stairs, looking almost completely behind me.
Now, I'd never realized I was doing this. But, thinking back, I do realize I'm doing it. Further, I've realized the reason, I'm checking for potential issues or hazards around the stairs.
I was never taught to do that. I've never had an issue that involved a stairwell, other than my wife almost falling down a pair once. I wasn't even consciously aware that I was doing so.
So over the past week or so, my wife has started bringing to my attention some of the little 'quirks' that I've developed, when I'm doing them, and asking me why I'm doing them. Some of the things that I've been doing, well, I don't really know. Let me give a few examples of what has been brought to my attention.
1 - When I park my SUV, I tend to park so that the passenger side faces the door that I will be entering. When we go back to the SUV, I look at all four tires in passing. When asked why, the only thing that popped in my head was, "Checking to see if there's any damage to the tires."
2 - When I enter ANY vehical, the first thing I do before entering is look in the back. It doesn't matter if it's a car, truck, SUV, or van. It doesn't matter if it's 2 doors, 4 doors, or more. When asked why, the only thing that popped in my head was, "Checking to see if there's anyone in there."
3 - When we go to the movies, I HAVE to sit on the outside edge of the row. I'm not comfortable being pinned in. It doesn't matter which side of the row I'm on, as long as there is one direction that is open. When asked why, the only thing that I could respond with was, "So I can move in a hurry if I need to."
4 - When I go into any building, I tend to note the location of every fire alarm, fire door, fire suppression system, the alarm components, and security camera in the area. If it's a restaurant, I tend to note which tables around me are occupied at all times. When asked, all I could say was, "So I can get out of here if I need to."
5 - When getting dressed for work I have to put my knife in my left pocket, by itself, and it always goes with pivot point down. My badge for work always goes in the breast pocket of my shirt. My right pocket holds my cigarettes, less than $2.00 in quarters (never more), my keys, and my lighter. When asked why, my hand slid right on top of the pocket, and I was walking with almost no noise at all.
6 - When walking with my wife she almost always has to be on my left side. If she's on my right side, my right hand is almost always on her shoulder or back as we walk. When she asked, all I came up with was, "So I can get you out of the way if I have to."
There were others, a lot of them. But really, I only have one important question to ask.
Am I going nuts?
In all seriousness, am I starting to act somewhat paranoid? I don't mean to. I don't -feel- paranoid. I don't really consider myself a nut job. But, for a time (when working security in an area that I like to call 'Avenida de la Crack Ho') I was working hard to increase my awareness of my surroundings.
Have I gone too far? Has anyone else caught themself doing things like this?
After dinner I asked my wife, who'd apparently spoken with them about this in passing previously. She said that they'd noted that I don't walk down the stairs at work like the rest of the call center. When I go down the stairs, which are in an L-shape, I tend to turn so I can look down the stairs past the landing. When I go down past the landing, I tend to look on both the right and left hand side of the stairs, looking almost completely behind me.
Now, I'd never realized I was doing this. But, thinking back, I do realize I'm doing it. Further, I've realized the reason, I'm checking for potential issues or hazards around the stairs.
I was never taught to do that. I've never had an issue that involved a stairwell, other than my wife almost falling down a pair once. I wasn't even consciously aware that I was doing so.
So over the past week or so, my wife has started bringing to my attention some of the little 'quirks' that I've developed, when I'm doing them, and asking me why I'm doing them. Some of the things that I've been doing, well, I don't really know. Let me give a few examples of what has been brought to my attention.
1 - When I park my SUV, I tend to park so that the passenger side faces the door that I will be entering. When we go back to the SUV, I look at all four tires in passing. When asked why, the only thing that popped in my head was, "Checking to see if there's any damage to the tires."
2 - When I enter ANY vehical, the first thing I do before entering is look in the back. It doesn't matter if it's a car, truck, SUV, or van. It doesn't matter if it's 2 doors, 4 doors, or more. When asked why, the only thing that popped in my head was, "Checking to see if there's anyone in there."
3 - When we go to the movies, I HAVE to sit on the outside edge of the row. I'm not comfortable being pinned in. It doesn't matter which side of the row I'm on, as long as there is one direction that is open. When asked why, the only thing that I could respond with was, "So I can move in a hurry if I need to."
4 - When I go into any building, I tend to note the location of every fire alarm, fire door, fire suppression system, the alarm components, and security camera in the area. If it's a restaurant, I tend to note which tables around me are occupied at all times. When asked, all I could say was, "So I can get out of here if I need to."
5 - When getting dressed for work I have to put my knife in my left pocket, by itself, and it always goes with pivot point down. My badge for work always goes in the breast pocket of my shirt. My right pocket holds my cigarettes, less than $2.00 in quarters (never more), my keys, and my lighter. When asked why, my hand slid right on top of the pocket, and I was walking with almost no noise at all.
6 - When walking with my wife she almost always has to be on my left side. If she's on my right side, my right hand is almost always on her shoulder or back as we walk. When she asked, all I came up with was, "So I can get you out of the way if I have to."
There were others, a lot of them. But really, I only have one important question to ask.
Am I going nuts?
In all seriousness, am I starting to act somewhat paranoid? I don't mean to. I don't -feel- paranoid. I don't really consider myself a nut job. But, for a time (when working security in an area that I like to call 'Avenida de la Crack Ho') I was working hard to increase my awareness of my surroundings.
Have I gone too far? Has anyone else caught themself doing things like this?