Talking to kids about concealed carry

C

caseman67

Inactive
I have young kids in the house (10 and 8) and I was wondering what should be said to them regarding my decision to start carrying a gun concealed. I take my son hunting and they see my shotguns, etc. I do not want to say something to them and give them the idea that there is a problem and that is why I have decided to carry (I am doing this for protection.....there are bad people out there and I want to protect my family...etc). I was hoping to put a more positive spin on things.

I was just wondering if anyone out there has had to do this and what you said to your younger kids.
 
I don't say anything about it. Last thing I need is to be in the line at the grocery store and have my kid say "hey dad, do you have your gun on?" or be walking down the street and have them say "I am glad you have a gun because that guy is scary looking."
 
My kids were 6 and 4 when I started carrying, they asked me why and I just said because it was my job as Dad. I've had the neighbors kids ask why and I normally say the same thing. I OC at home and around the county, and CC in other areas. I've also told the kids over and over not to mention it when we're out and about or around people, no matter what. They've become used to me carrying and don't think nothing of it anymore.
 
pichon said:
I don't say anything about it. Last thing I need is to be in the line at the grocery store and have my kid say "hey dad, do you have your gun on?" or be walking down the street and have them say "I am glad you have a gun because that guy is scary looking."
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I agree with that. On the other hand, my kids are only 3 1/2 and almost 2 so even though I've only been carrying for less than a year they have no recollection of anything else. It's no different to them than me wearing pants. They don't understand it's purpose at this point and there is no reason why it would ever enter their minds in public. By the time they're old enough to have anything to say about it they will be educated enough to not say anything.


As a more direct answer to the OP, I see no reason for them to know about it, if they don't already. Depending on the level of understanding or maturity of the kids you may be able to have a sit down with them and make them aware that it's not something to be mentioned in public and trust them to leave it at that. Only you can know your kids well enough to answer that question.
 
I have two young ones at home who know I carry. I had a talk with them when I started carrying regularly. This is what I said.

Basically I said that they are never to mention the gun, ask about the gun, touch the gun (like to see if it is there through my clothes or whatever), tell someone about the gun, or even think about the gun.

It has been three years now, and they have followed my instructions to the letter, so much so that I forgot about it. Then a couple of weeks ago my son asked me, while in the privacy of our home, why they aren't to mention the gun. He basically wanted to know if it was illegal (he's 7 now). I told him that it wasn't illegal, it just might make other people nervous or scared to know someone had a gun. Since he is REAL big into spotting bad manners, I told him it was very bad manners to talk about someone wearing a gun where people can hear. Works for me.
 
My grandson was always asking to see it or have me to show it to someone. I guess the novelty wore off he hasn't done it in awhile, or all the dirty looks sank in:eek:
 
We have two boys 19 and 16,,,and one girl 13.... just turned 14... They all know that I DO carry.... and they all understand that the idea of being concealed is that no one is to know... so they have been told that we dont go around yelling it out...or making comments about carrying.
 
My kids grew up with my pistol always being there, so it wasnt anything new to them. I did explain to them, and at a very young age, that it wasnt something we talked about to other people, and that it wasnt to be discussed outside the house, and why, and that was never a problem. Then again, we discussed pretty much everything with them, but especially if they brought something up. Secrets dont work, especially with kids.

I think its best to talk to them and explain to them why, and you'll have less troubles. Kids are not stupid, but it is up to you to teach them, and teaching generally requires more from you than "because I said so".

Oh, and dont forget the "Nazi" speech. That should be the very first one. :)
 
LOL... My three daughters are old enough now and have their own concealed permits. I'll have to ask them what they tell their kids. When my daughters were growing up (mostly in Alaska) there were always guns around and they all learned to shoot at an early age. It just wasn't unusual for dad to be carrying a gun. I think guns should be demystified to children and some basic safety rules reinforced right from the start.
 
To clarify my position, my kids know all the age appropriate information about guns and shooting. They can recite the rules of safe gun handling at ages 7 and 5. I see no need however to tell them I carry one around with me wherever I go. They know they exist and what their purposes are but I don't advertise that I carry to anyone but my wife and you fine folks (who don't really know me). My folks are even on a need to know basis as far as my personal habits are concerned.
 
I think you should make sure they know the importance of not advertising your carrying to anyone else.

Even more important IMO than them knowing that is knowing what you need them to do if you ever get into a situation requiring you to use force or deadly force. What to do, where to go, and who to contact when they get there.

If you make a move in a situation every member of the family should know to asses its variables and independantly decide on a course of action that has been planned out and disscussed ahead of time. Its just as important as fire and evacuation preparedness whether you carry or not. IMHO
 
Even more important IMO than them knowing that is knowing what you need them to do if you ever get into a situation requiring you to use force or deadly force. What to do, where to go, and who to contact when they get there.
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I don't believe that they are allowed to leave the scene. The police will want to get statements. Of course we are talking about a toe to toe battle where you prevail. In the case of a mall type shooter situation they will have to improvise and find cover or exit. I don't believe you can ever be ready for that. At that point it is a matter of keeping calm and making sound decisions which I don't trust a 7 or 5 year old to be able to do in that situation.

What age your kids are, if your wife or SO is there, and the situation in general will necessitate different responses. Too many variables...

I still don't see how letting my kids know that I am carrying will serve their interests in any way. If the SHTF situation happens then that is the appropriate time for them to know.

Train your kids to be aware of their surroundings and teach them to assess dangerous surroundings and situations, formulate solutions and scenarios, and make good decisions and they will be fine.
 
Thanks for all the many answers....I completely overlooked the fact of telling them to never mention it in public. I also overlooked the fact of having a plan in case something bad does happen while carrying. Those are great pieces of advice and I am dumbfounded as to why I didn't think of that. I guess I never thought of not telling them I was going to be carrying. I just figured they would eventually see me taking it off or carrying around the house somehow. They seem me online researching them, reading this forum, etc. I wanted to put a good spin on it as opposed to "this is for protection from bad guys" and leave them with some fear of the bad guys are coming to get us. They think nothing of my shotguns, rifles, muzzle loaders and going hunting. I want them to feel the same way about a handgun.

I was thinking of saying something positive along the lines of: "In school you will study about our founding fathers and the constitution. The constitution grants every U.S. citizen many rights and freedoms (freedom of speech, religion, etc.). One of the most important is the right to keep and bear arms...some people choose to exercise that right and others do not. Dad went and got special training that allows me to carry a gun concealed (although open-carry is legal in MI, it appears that most LEOs either do not know this or choose to hassle you about it)....when people exercise their right to carry guns, it makes them feel good knowing society will be safer and reminds them of how important our constitution is along with all our rights....My training allows me to carry my gun concealed or "hidden" and you must never say anything to anyone."

That may be too over the top, but I just thought a positive spin of mentioning the constitution, our rights, getting special training, etc. might help them understand the importance of handguns and concealed carry.

If anyone has other advice, please keep posting.
 
I appreciate that you want your kids to learn about the founding of our country. But PLEASE don't tell them this:

"The constitution grants every U.S. citizen many rights and freedoms (freedom of speech, religion, etc.). "

It is just plain wrong. Our fundamental rights are part of our nature, granted by God if you will, and are NOT derived from the Constitution, government, or other social arrangement. Believing that our rights are granted by the Constitution makes it easy for those who would, to take those rights away. All they have to do is just change the Constitution or re-interpret it.

"Endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights...." (From the Declaration of Independence, which also shows how the founders thought about our liberties.)

It is very important to understand the basis of our liberties if we are to protect them. The Bill of Rights in the Constitution is a contract that the government will not take our rights away, period.
 
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I have a 4 and 1/2 yr old that understands his mom and I carry a gun to protect us from the "bad people in the world". He also understands we dont tell people we carry because then the "bad guys will know. He goes to the range and enjoys shooting his cricket .22. He has learned gun safety and knows that guns are not toys. Last year he shot his first racoon we trapped and he understood from that experience that once you shoot at a living being it can kill it. I think yours will understand if you teach them as they are quite a bit older.
 
spamanon said:
"Endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights...."
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Not to nitpick here, but that quote is not from the Constitution :) The rest is very correct and very profound. Interestingly enough, one of the reasons that it took a few years for the Bill of Rights to be ratified is that many people didn't think it was necessary. They looked at the Constitution and said "We don't need it, the Constitution already says all of this". Remember that the Constitution is a very short and specific list of things the government can do. If it's not in there, the government can't do it.

/endhijack

Back on topic. I don't think that disillusioning kids is a very good idea. I remember when I was a young chap my mom told me that police cars drove around "looking for people with white stuff coming out of their car". She was talking about the white exhaust cars have in the winter. For the longest time I would actually see cars with a lot of exhaust and think that the police were supposed to stop them and that that was their only purpose. Obviously there was a better way to handle that :p
 
Not to nitpick here, but that quote is not from the Constitution
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Thanks Sefner, I clarified above. I was meaning to show how the founders thought about these things in general, including the Declaration. I should have been more clear.

You get it anyway, I just wish more people did!:D
 
All of the grandkids know that Papa carries. I have a habit of naming things like my favorite fishing poles and the two weapons that I carry most of the time (my Rossi 462 is "Marvin", and XD40 Service is "Elrod"). Most of the time, they see me putting Marvin on, but it is not unusual for one of them to ask me "do I have Marvin with me?"..I have never made up stories and I always try to be truthfull with them. Marvin is the only one that stays handy...everything else is locked in my safe, but when they are around, they know that Marvin is off limits. Just in case, I always engage the lock (another reason I love the Rossi) whenever any of the kids are at the house, and it stays in the top of the closet, out of harms way. There will be no "accidents" in this house.:p.
 
It's something Daddy does and it's just for grownups. We shouldn't talk about it in front of other people.

If you ever find a real gun:
1. Stop
2. Don't touch
3. Leave the area
4. Tell an adult

I tailor the message to the age and provide more details as the child gets older. Basically, if I give a satisfactory answer and don't make a big deal about it, their curiosity moves on to the next thing.

Over the years, my oldest also got the specifics that I used to work for the Sheriff's Department and I've learned to be careful of bad guys. It's still an oversimplification of the details but the information is age-appropriate.
 
My first reaction to the question was "Which kid?" The best answer to your question is pretty specific to the individual kid, though I should think 8 and 10 are old enough for fairly full explanations.

I had a rather charming encounter with the son of a concealed carrier who gave away his dad's status and personal tell, much to Dad's chagrin. Though nothing was said at the time, I am sure Dad reinforced my idea of "Don't ask, don't tell" very soon after my encounter.
 
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