Rickmeister...
opened the door to another point that needs to be made. What is your objective? The police officer has a different result in mind than does the average citizen, i.e. arrest. The citizen is mainly interested in surviving the encounter (although detention/arrest of the BG may become the objective, depending on circumstances).
Of course, both the cop and the citizen want to survive. I'm trying to outline a difference in philosophy. The cop is thinking survival, but will (should) always be looking to end up with the BG in custody. The citizen also thinks of survival, but may or may not be considering what happens after that.
No problem, in either case, survival is the first objective. Whether or not the citizen ends up being able to hand the BG over to the police is secondary to the objective, not a part of it. Police response and citizen response to an assault with a deadly weapon are the same, except that, in some states at least, the citizen (with CCW) has an obligation to retreat, if possible. Check the Florida CCW laws for an example. This obligation to retreat makes the situation more difficult for the citizen than for the cop. It adds a layer of decision-making to the tactical problem, and thus tends to slow down responses.
The range between the attacker and the defender thus becomes more important to the citizen. He has to know whether or not retreat is an option. Shorter ranges tend to reduce the viability of retreat. Surprise is another factor that would reduce one's ability to retreat.
Short of playing 'what if', (which I don't like to do), the one thing that will help is training, which has already been stressed here. I obviously agree with this. And for the citizen, would go farther, and include situational training to illustrate specific points of local law regarding such encounters. This should show why I don't like to play 'what if', as each state is different, and I certainly do not have the specific knowledge to render a valid opinion.
One thing that is fairly constant is the fact that, if a citizen is threatened with deadly force, AND fears for (his/her) life or the life of another in the IMMEDIATE sense, then at least a reasonable, affirmative defense of one's actions can be made regarding the use of deadly force as a legitimate response. (BTW, in Florida, you have no duty to retreat from your home).
I know this doesn't answer any specific questions, but this point is important, and needs to be dealt with. Preferable, before one ends up in court. You need to know what the ramifications of your actions may be, and conduct yourself, (and train) accordingly.