Say AMEN, brothers and sisters!!
I have threatened for years to get ordained as a minister via the internet and start
"The Church of the Suppressed Semiautomatic and Select Fire Rifle."
Services would consist of studying and reading the words of The Founders, as well as Biblical injunctions regarding self-defense and owning weaponry.
To become a member, you would have to
(LEGALLY) own a suppressed semiauto or select fire rifle, attend certification training given by the church, qualify on the range (out back of the church) and be a member of the NRA, GOA and JPFO.
Communion would consist of the firing of the rifles at the church range. Summer camp would be held at Thunder Ranch, Gunsite or another professional firearms training facility.
Comprehensive training in all facets of the shooting sports would be offered through the church. Wednesday night study would cover reloading procedures, with one caliber covered in detail each Wednesday, as well as "long distance rifle shooting techniques" and combat handgunnery.
Mission work would consist of traveling to the great dens of iniquity (San Francisco, New York, D of C, Chicago, etc.) to attempt to educate our wayward bretheren (The American Sheeple) regarding the truth about gun ownership, self defense and our Constitutional right to arms.
The Church of the Suppressed Semiautomatic and Select Fire Rifle would be an accredited church, and as such would be a nonprofit organization and tax exempt.
"The Government" would be forced to allow us to operate without harrassment or interference, just like it does with all other churches - you know, that "Freedom of Religion" thing in the Constitution.
Unlike the Branch Davidians, there would be no stores of weapons held on the church premesis - just ammunition and magazines (
NO electric guitars) and 70's haistyles would be prohibited.
Can I get an amen, brothers and sisters??