-sigh--- Discussing guns with mom

D

Don Gwinn

Staff Emeritus
The other night when I was home for spring break, there was a newscast about the boy who was dragged to death in Missouri. As a TFL member, of course, I knew more about it than mom. They discussed the mother pleading with the carjacker to let her keep her son, and that he was close enough to touch and that she stayed close to the vehicle while trying to get her son out.

I commented, inevitably, that it was too bad she didn't have a handgun to put in the thug's face while she was begging him to stop and let the boy out. As Oleg says, sometimes you have to say no LOUDER.

Well, she looked at me kind of funny and said
"So what, she should have blown his head off right in front of her little son?"

Now, mom has long lived with dad's collection of guns. She has also hunted deer a long time, though she gave it up not long after I started going (I think she wanted dad to have someone to go with :) )
To be honest, I couldn't believe she said that.

Seriously, I understand the trauma that child would experience if his mother were forced to kill the thug. But how can it be worse than DYING by being dragged behind? Besides, chances are that if he looked back at her yelling at him, as the mother claims, he would have stopped if he'd seen a gun pointed at his face. I would.

I looked my mother in the eye and calmly said:
"No, she should have pointed it at him. That would give him a reason to stop, which begging wouldn't. And if he still refused to stop, then yes, of course she should have shot him right in front of the boy. How can you think that it would be better to let the boy die, or even just let him be taken by someone who is at least a carjacker, than to have him suffer some trauma over the methods used to save him?"

That started a long conversation. Eventually she agreed that it would be OK for me to go armed if it were legal but she would never want to because she doesn't think she's fast enough on the draw (bases that on pheasant hunting and she might be right.)
Urrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh. Didn't expect to have to convert mom.
 
I know how you feel , I was raised in a little town no one ever heard off a peaceful place no real crime some teen age pranks
and stuff like that , After college I left there and moved to Ca. because of my job .
I had all but put my old high school out of my mind until I was driving home from work
last april and listened to the mess that was going on in my old school. "Columbine"
My wife and I went back to Colo. for christmas with the family this past year and I was floored be the anti gun attitude my
mother and sister now have , I grew up with guns in the house hunting and shooting were a
thing I took for granted growing up back there . But things change with time and so do people .
 
Gah. I don't even discuss guns with my Mom. On some things she is just totally logic-proof.

Fortunatley, my Dad is just as dedicated a gun nut as I am, even to the point of subsidising some of my ammo purchases. So I guess it all balances out.

Later,
Chris
 
I don't recall any of my home from breaks conversations with mom being necessarilly logical, just enlightning.

Consider giving her a little extra slack because she still sees you first as the little boy. ANY trauma is bad for you in her mind.

When you gave her the picture in her mind of YOU being dragged to death in a situation that a weapon may have stopped, the light goes on.

I believe one thing- either of our mothers would have dove through the drivers side window with a nail file and gouged the eyes of the murderer if it possibly prevented injury to their respective sons.

The poor mother of the victim may have had a nail file in her purse; a gun may have been more effective. Mom's often take awhile to differentiate the image of you standing precariously on the highchair with a pair of sharp scissors and you today with a firearm.

My guess is that you and your mom have an opportunity to get much closer soon, and she wants that more than anything. :)
 
Can any of our wonderful resident TFL women by chance explain the common thinking of the rest of the fairer sex?
 
Randall, I wonder how your mom and sister would have felt about propane if those bombs had detonated?

Where has all the logic gone? Long time passing ...
 
I think we give kids to little credit. Most of the young kids I have been around are more resilient than adults. They seem to take things in stride and go on with their life without agonizing the way that adults will.

Also given the option I would rather deal with a traumatized kid than a funeral.
 
“Also given the option I would rather deal with a traumatized kid than a funeral.”
Amen to that. The harsh truth comes out. Yes I would have killed the guy.
 
Don, my mom is a complete anti, I don't even think I would have gotten as far as you did. All I know, if that were me in that mothers position, you can bet I would point the gun at him, he doesn't stop, well sorry you hijacked the wrong car. Yes, it will be traumatizing for that child but hey, he would still be alive. Now if that isn't good enough reason to shoot I don't know what is. I don't think any parent wants to see their child go through something like that, but isn't that the purpose to have a gun? To save a childs life? I would think that little statement "for the children" would fall into this perfectly. I think you mom may have not put herself in that mothers shoes when she made her first comment. I am glad to hear that she agreed at the end. I should ask my mom what she thinks, that ought to prove interesting. :)

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Sandys' Homepage
We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica
 
I think for the most part our mother's generation doesn't realize that things have gotten a lot rougher out there. Most of our parents can afford nicer homes in quiet neighborhoods and they get complacent thinking the rest of the world is as safe as they think their surroundings are. My own parents, (who have more guns than the state armory :)) still think I'm silly for carrying. They say they don't feel it necessary to be armed when they go out the door. Sorry, as a woman, that's when I feel my most vulnerable. I did finally convince them to keep weapons readily available at home. After I pointed out several home-invation robberies in the area they finally got the hint. I wouldn't screw around outside their house after dark now, if you know what I mean ;).

I think being car-jacked is enough to cause trauma in a child, but not defending yourself or your child will cause more trauma. My son is 13 and we've already had a discussion about what to do in case there is ever a situation where I feel the need to pull my weapon. I've told him to get behind something and as far away from me as he can, cause if I miss or the attacker doesn't go down on the first shot, he's going to shoot back and I don't want my kid getting in the way of stray bullets. I told him to stay behind me and out of the way, cause any criminal will have to go through me before he gets to my kid. We'll deal with the trauma later.
 
When I was 7 years old I was being attacked by a German Shepherd that wandered into our neighborhood. Talk about being traumatized! It wasn't until my Dad came out and shot that dog with his 12 gauge that I had any relief from the trauma. The blast from the shotgun and seeing that dog's guts blown out were shocking, but not traumatic to me. My Dad was a hero and I think I would have been "traumatized" for life if my protector did nothing but yell (plead) at the dog.

Don't even try to reason with a woman. If they have their mind made up on something, forget logic, they think with emotion. Call me sexist and as the Human Torch says, "Flame On!"
 
Don't even try to reason with a woman.

Tell that to my computer-geek gun-toting girlfriend. Then hold out your hands, you'll need them when she hands your butt to you. :D
 
Most folks forget the power of a mother to overcome and soothe trauma to their kids, and they forget how resilient kids are.
Were I in that position, I'd drop the jacker like a sack o taters. Then cuddle my boy, tell him Momma loves you and will always protect you. A couple kisses, a smile and its all better

My son is almost 2 and I'm the first thought in his mind, whether he is scared, hurt or pleased about something....its either get Mom to make it better or show Mom how cool this is.

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" RKBA!
 
I agree, Mom will always try to make it better, and my 6 year old is like DC'c young'un. Mom is first and foremost in his mind.
I'm not sure my Mom has a real strong opinion about firearms, she is 73 or so, and firearms don't interest her one way or another. She does, however, support one's right to carry and own firearms, and she ACTS interested when I show her and my Dad any new firearms I may buy. Dad's only real experience with guns was from the Army (WW2), and he thinks guns are neat, but beyond that, no big deal. He also supports gun rights. I think mostly they are excited for me, even at my age, they are excited when I am.

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Knock twice. Rap with your cane. Feels nice. You're out of the rain. We got your skinny girls. Here at the Western World
from Steely Dan's "Western World"

[This message has been edited by tatters (edited March 21, 2000).]
 
Blue, you're still ahead of me. Out of that whole collection, they still don't keep any inside the actual house except some .22s in a case in the living room. No ammo in the house either. Come to think of it, I don't think they even have a baseball bat handy.
*sigh*
But at least she doesn't dispute now that I should be able to carry if I want to. That's more than most people are willing to allow. I just worry about them. They don't live in the best part of our town and the cops in that place are useless at best, corrupt at worst.
 
I believe that shooting the perp in this situation would also be an excellent lesson for the child on the proper exercise of self-defense.

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John/az

"The middle of the road between the extremes of good and evil, is evil. When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!
 
That poor woman may have had a nail file, scissors, a rat tail comb or brush, any number of improvisable weapons in her purse or on her person...but nothing reasons like a couple of hundred grains of metal traveling at a high velocity. Unfortunately she wasn't carrying. She may never have considered the possibility of needing a weapon to protect her child. That is the saddest aspect of this sad story. An armed person would have already had the mindset and training, and whacked the hijacker on the spot. And the kid would certainly have gotten over it, and later on, been proud. --slabsides


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If they take our guns, I intend to let my hair grow long and acquire the jawbone of an ass.
 
Guess I'm lucky,my mom packs a .357 mag. No question about where she stands.

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Be careful what you ask for..You may get it.
 
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