SERIOUSLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H

Horizon_Seeker

New member
OK, I got a situation that I definitely need help on.

here it is:

I don't know how many of you have experience with an widowed/widower parent looking to find some happiness in life. I have no problem with the premise. here is my problem.

Having just been asked by my mother if it would be OK with me, I thought sure. I have no problem with the concept. but after she told me who the guy was, I started having second thoughts.

From what I gathered in her conversation with her friends over some time, this is the guy: He has a family, one daughter, he was going to get a divorce, but then his wife got ovarian cancer, so the divorce was postponed indefinitely

He would be stopping by the house on Sat. So I would have a chance of talking to him. My thought on this is: If it is true that his wife has cancer, and I don't know for sure, then it's fine with me if they are just friends. but if it was to go any further, I don't care what condition she's in, but he's going to make a choice.

How should I intimate it to him that he had better be single if he was to go further, otherwise his personal health might suffer a great deal, not to mention his physical assets. I don't want to be completely head on, since I have trouble trying to figure out just what their relationship is, but I do want to make my stance perfectly clear. He can either be a man that stays with a sick wife and that's all, or he can show me that he's not the scumbag I think he is now.

Your help is all greatly appreciated, don't hesitate to email me by using the icon above.

Thank y'all.
 
Is this guy seeking your MOTHER's affection or YOUR's? It's very unclear from what you have posted.

Either way, he's going to be in a world of hurt if he's trying to play both ends of the field. Why? Because he won't dedicate himself to either commitment. Which to me could be indicative of why he was in a divorce situation in the first place.

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John/az
"When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

See The Legacy of Gun Control film at: www.cphv.com

Do it for the children...

[This message has been edited by John/az2 (edited September 11, 2000).]
 
Seems to me all you can ask of people is that they be honest. He is not deceiving your mother or hiding anything from her. My other question might be "does his wife know?". If she does, then mind your own business and let your mom have a life. If the wife does not know, your mom needs to be more careful, since the "cancer" story could be a lot of crap.

Companionship and/or sex both get harder to find as you get older. Your mom does not need your permission, but clearly wants you to feel good about what she is doing. So ask your questions, voice your concerns to HER (not the guy), and then tell her you love her and hope she finds happiness. Even if she messes up, it is still her life.


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galt
Speak Out on the Net http://www.netcitizen.org
 
Galt beat me to it -- in fact, I doubt I could have said it better.

Your Mum was a person long before she was your Mum. Be there if she needs you, and certainly keep your eyes open, but don't cross the line into "interfering".

B
 
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