What is going to alleviate your recoil issue is to shoot the slowest, lightest possible load in the heaviest gun you can handle. My 8# A400 handles my 3/4oz 12 gauge reloads with 2/3 the energy of a 1oz load going the same speed. Be aware that not all semis will handle such light loads. Not all semis reduce the "felt" recoil, aka "kick" equally either. A gas gun, as opposed to inertia (Benelli and others) or long recoil Browning A5 and others) will have the softest feel.
That all said, gun FIT is crucial no matter the action type. Actual recoil is a math calculation where the aforementioned gun weight, payload weight, and payload velocity are the factors.
You might be better off with an O/U that fits shooting light training loads than a semi that only works with heavy/fast loads.