Scared to shoot?

G

GunsmithFox

Inactive
Alright so my girlfriend is scared to shoot a gun (she was before ive scared her with them). How do I get her to shoot and hopefully enjoy a wonderful sport with me? I have access to a .22 rifle that has no kick what so ever and is a single shot. I think it might be the noise of my new 30-06 that has her scared to shoot it or any gun now. How might I get her to try it? She doesn't think she can hit a target (shes used to me having her launch the clays for me) and I tell her that I can set up bottles or cans for her to shoot or even lay clays on the hill we shoot into.

Also on a small side note, my 5 year old daughter wants to shoot with me. I know most of the guns I have access to (mine and my father-in-laws) are too big for her except the .22 rifle. What age does everyone think I should let her start shooting at? When she goes to the range behind my father-in-laws house we let her have a fake plastic rifle that makes noises so she can act like shes shooting.
 
Airsoft!!!!
This will get them use to the feel of shooting and help gain some confidence.
Once they get comfortable, move them along to a 22lr revolver.
I like the revolver for new shooters because it is controlled solely by the shooter.
No slide flaying back at them, no spent rounds flying past their face.They can cock the pistol and squeeze the trigger and feel in control.
Lighter recoil felt due to the weight of the gun.
Good sight picture for better accuracy.
It's all about comfort and confidence IHMO:)
 
My wife hates Ear-Muffs

There are a number of problems that we as shooters, often create when introducing kids and females, to shooting. Often it comes down to a matter of trust and that may take time. ... :)

1) We don't provide hearing protection and that includes .22LR.
. Regardless of whether my wife is shooting or observing, she wears hearing protection.
2) We burn them out by going too fast and too hard. They may never shoot a .357 Mag. so why even go there.
3) We don't make it fun and don't show them positive results.
4) Shooting is a learning curve and I keep it simple, short and on point.


Make it fun and;
Be Safe !!!
 
I loaned a friend my cure for that,,,

A friend of mine is an avid recreational shooter,,,
He has a slew of very nice handguns,,,
But he only has one .22 pistol.

That's a wildly tricked out target model of some ilk,,,
It's so bizarre that when adjusted properly it only fits his hand.

Did I mention he also has more money than sense.

All of his other guns are .38/9mm or bigger.

His longtime girlfriend didn't like shooting any of his handguns,,,
He had just about given up on getting her interested,,,
Then I loaned him my pair of 4.5" Beretta NEOS'.

Now she got to shoot something that fit her hand better,,,
Since he was shooting an identical pistol as her,,,
She didn't feel overshadowed by his gun.

They spent a happy afternoon going through a bulk pack,,,
Now she says that she enjoyed that day,,,
She wants to go shooting again.

I think it also helped that I was out there with them,,,
My friend has a tendency to go overboard,,,
I was there to keep things light.

My friend is an idiot though,,,
She said she liked the NEOS pistol,,,
And that she wouldn't mind owning one.

So my friend spends the next few days on gunbroker,,,
Trying to find a Beretta 87 Target model for her.

Did I mention he tends to go overboard a lot?

Anyways, maybe a nice .22 single-shot rifle,,,
Is just the thing to pique her interest.

It's certainly better for a newbie than a 30-06. ;)

Aarond

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Make sure your GF has very good hearing protection, then see if she'll shoot the .22. Is she afraid to shoot a bow? It could be just the tension of shooting that gets to her (afraid it's going to snap/ self destruct in her face). As for your daughter, I'd get her a Daisy BB gun and wait a couple years to start her out on the .22. Better yet, get her a .22 air rifle and she can go small game hunting with you, while learning hunters safety.
 
From my experience, and I have a good bit of it, only attempt to teach those to shoot who express some interest in trying it. It's stressful enough trying to teach a genuinely interested new shooter how to handle and shoot a gun. Engaging in political discussions, moral debates, the psychology of irrational fear, etc. is simply beyond my pay grade when it comes to showing someone how to shoot. I simply say "let me know if you ever really want to learn how to shoot and I'd be glad to help you" and leave it at that.
 
Hearing protection has already been mentioned but it's importance cannot be stressed enough. As to your daughter I will leave that to others. I didn't raise a girl (2 sons) and all my nieces on my side of the family anyway were taught by their fathers.

For your girlfriend maybe you want to keep it as much fun as possible and I am not sure that is a single shot. I bought a Ruger 10/22 with synthetic stock for myself and put a Tru-Glo holographic sight on it with 4 different reticles and choice of either red or green. The same things that make it a good firearm for small game hunting and fun for myself (easy handling and very easy target aquisition) also make it good for introducing someone to shooting. I start out with the straight cross retical in green (unless it is bright sunshine) and only introduce the other ritical choices when they have gotten at least a little bit used to it.

Back in the summer I used this method on a girlfriend of one of my oldest son's friends, probably middle twentys with great success. After some practice she was able to consistantly hit a 12 inch square steel plate at 50 yards. Not sure if she followed through but at the end of the day she wanted to know where to get one and how much it would cost.

Not sure if you can get a setup where you can shoot hanging steel but if you can that is a lot more fun than paper bullseye and getting immediate feedback adds a lot to the enjoyment.
 
I cant begin to tell you how awesome a set of electronic noise-canceling muffs are to a new shooter. Standard muffs make an already nervous person feel awkward and closed in, they struggle to hear what you're saying and you speak differently just trying to be heard. Plus they will make an already self-conscious woman think she looks stupid and out of place.

Get a pair of the Howard Leight Sport's, $70 for 2 pairs and change everything about a persons first shooting experience. They work great and are downright stylish compared to a set of standard construction muffs.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001T7QJ9O/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1417553732&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40
 
Also, make sure the overall environment is pleasant.

Clean restrooms, friendly atmosphere, safe location are all big things to make the experience of learning to shoot fun.

A gun that easy to shoot as previously discussed is of vital importance, but also remember, that having targets that are fun and easy to hit is a big thing as well.
 
For your daughter, let her learn to shoot the .22 rifle. Single shot is good, because she can't get too excited and burn through a magazine while forgetting all about fundamentals. When I was a kid my bother and I attended a day camp during the summers for a few years. Riflery was one of the activities. The rifles were bolt action .22s. They had magazines, but we only fired them as single shots. One shot at a time, by the numbers. There were ten kids on the line at a time, and nobody got to eject or start loading the next round until everyone had finished the cycle.

If yours is too big and heavy for her -- look at the Cricket. http://crickett.com/

As for the girlfriend, my opinion is that you should NEVER try to force or persuade anyone to try something they don't want to try. Bring her along when you teach the daughter to shoot. Be sure she wears ear protection. Let her see the 5-year old doing it and not having problems (we hope), and maybe she'll start to be less afraid.

If possible, start the daughter with .22 Shorts, and then be sure to keep a few boxes on hand in case the girlfriend decides to give it a whirl.
 
I asked her after reading responses if she would be interested in shooting at some point and she said she wants to but is scared. I asked her why she was scared and it came down to 3 things.

The noise of the 30-06, the bruises I sometimes have after shooting for 3 days in a row, and the gun blowing up.

I understand the noise thing, my 30-06 (Rem 770) is loud and kicks hard. When at the range we wear the ear plugs that go in the ear and cheap walmart ear muffs (Daughter wears a special electronic set designed for her that automatically muffle loud sounds and she is at least 10 feet away when im firing).

The bruises I told her that its because I get a little lazy and don't hold the rifle tight against my shoulder after awhile and its my own lazy fault. Ive said that I would teach her with a small caliber that wont cause any bruising at all.

And the gun blowing up is partly my fault. I used reloads from a friend when we were shooting clays at a friendly contest at a shooting club and on my father in laws double barrel 12ga I went to shoot a clay and it just clicked on the first chamber, I thought nothing of it, and pulled the second trigger. The break barrel parts flew off, huge bang, decimated my glasses (luckily nothing went through them) stock was badly cracked. Turns out my friend didn't put powder in the first one and put double powder in the second and had no clue. I tell my GF that it was a freak accident and I should have paid attention.

Now that im writing this I believe that her fears are my fault because I got lazy and didn't use my head when shooting a few times. Bad gun safety and technique on my part.
 
For some women it is just not their thing. My wife goes with me sometimes and shoots her Shield 9mm and actually does very good with it and seems to generally have a good time but shooting and firearms are just not something ratteling around in her head like it is mine.

My wife is into quilting big time, ownes a quilting store, gives classes, has been her hobby for years. She will at least go shooting with me sometimes but I refuse to have anything to do with quilting. You may be able to get your girlfriend at least a little bit interested in shooting especially if she has a gun available she likes to shoot but if not ammo for two is more expensive than ammo for one:).
 
One day, one step and one prayer, at a time

I simply say "let me know if you ever really want to learn how to shoot and I'd be glad to help you" and leave it at that.
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The results we want, will never be 100% until the student takes an active interest. I truly want my wife to be more interested as we recently had a Mall shooting that she frequents. Lately, with Ferguson she is being more receptive and I have to respond to that. She really enjoys her .22 but reluctant to step up to the .380 or 9MM, I have waiting in the wings. ..... ;)

Hang in there and;
Be Safe !!!
 
One thing I’ve learnt being married the years I have is that if you’re in a relationship with a woman and she is as strong willed as you are don’t teach her.
Take her to a range that has a good instructor and let them teach her the basics. Its cheep and will keep friction down. I have worked with a lot of new shooters over the past 40 years but when I got married I got her interested enough to get a carry license and before I let her carry or bought her a gun took her to an instructor. My suggestion is to do what I did and find a woman instructor. Then let HER pick out a gun.
I wouldn’t call her an avid shooter but she likes her 66 and is good with it and now she lets me help with her skills. She carries all the time.
 
Your girlfriend may not be someone who will become a shooter. Mine cried when she shot my handgun the first time (a common enough response, I'm told), won't shoot my evil black rifles, wasn't all that bothered by the recoil of my Mosin Nagant, and finds all of them (including my .22s) to be "boring". I can't figure her out in some ways. It's a struggle getting her to shoot the handgun at all and it was something I was insistent on for a while, but after a certain amount of pushing, I realized you have to let people come to it on their own.

If you remove the fear part of it, is she even interested in shooting? I have no problem with golf, and if my girlfriend wanted to play it that would be her prerogative, but I have absolutely no interest in it and if she kept pushing me to do it with her after I went out and found it to be something I didn't care for, I would think that would be a pretty frustrating situation.

Otherwise, the advice to start with the .22 is sound. Maybe try starting with some more fun interactive targets, like bottles of water, clay pigeons, things of that nature that give instant feedback when hit.
 
Turns out my friend didn't put powder in the first one and put double powder in the second and had no clue. I tell my GF that it was a freak accident and I should have paid attention.
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How can you tell if loaded ammo is double charged by "paying attention"?

Does it smell different or something?
 
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Its her choice no matter the reason. She might not have any interest in actually shooting and just goes along to hang with you.
Our girls will often tag along on all sorts of guy things without any real interst in what we're doing... especially for the first couple of years.
Enjoy it while you can...

Repeated efforts to get her to join in may backfire causing her to avoid going along at all.
Let her see your daughter shoot a few times, she may try it just too keep from being bested by a 5yr old.

And how do you have a father-in-law and a girlfriend?
 
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How can you tell if loaded ammo is double charged by "paying attention"?

Does it smell different or something?
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Yes it does! It smells like destruction waiting to happen! I told her that to help make her feel better. There was no way to tell unless I had been there when they were loaded and might have been able to tell by actually looking at the shells or feeling the weight.

And how do you have a father-in-law and a girlfriend?
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Her father calls me his Son-in-law so I call him my father-in-law and its just become second nature. And I also plan on marrying her at some point.


Thank you all for the responses by the way! My GF says she'll try shooting again soon but that shes still nervous and a little scared. I told her that if our daughter can do it and have fun then she can do the same. We are going to start my daughter off on airsoft (or paintball marker), so she can get used to something actually happening when the trigger is pulled. One she is used to that itll be a .22
 
Being around the range a lot I see guys bring their girls, wives, kids, ect.

There is a right way to introduce someone to shooting, man or women, it actually makes a HUGE mark on how they shoot...

I have been taught and learned to do this from years of doing it wrong...

My wife loves to shoot BUT I had our friend Sarah teach her, she is an instructor and my wife is a better shot for it, as well as now she likes to shoot.

heres what I have learned.. Most of which is just common sense..
You want to try to go to the range at a time where not many people if any are shooting, that is why large classes are nice, they take the entire range and there is no HUGE explosions or distractions from "Bill BangAlot's" snub nose 460 mag..


First Teach Safety, BUT while teaching safety don't teach "nervousness" careful/caution and scared/fright are very different, both can be very constructive in teaching safety but one is very destructive for teaching a skill. The best way to teach safety is with a book, flyer, pamphlet type of media, it leaves out the emotion you may accidentally convey with your facial expressions and overall demeanor, its gun safety so the student should be smart enough to take it seriously without having it scared into them, and like I said, scare can work, but not here, if you are teaching your kids how to drive, OK scare them with a horror story about a kid that killed 3 of his classmates drinking and driving and then went to jail for 30 years, that is fine, but not for gun safety, it already implies a threat, if the student isn't smart enough to already be scared of the firearm, then they don't belong handling one, IMO...

So now they know the basics, now teach some range rules, these should be posted everywhere, and you can add the basic range etiquette, like pick up your shells and boxes, face forward when holding your gun, shoot at the line {I hate when people stand back and shoot behind me}, dissable and don't handle when range is "cold", ect, just basic mostly safety and respectful things to know...


Now they are ready to go to a bench, this is where the real mistakes start, first some guys do the old "stand back here and I will shoot my ported fire breathing dragon 300 RUM first" After that the day is over, if they had any thoughts of fear they are now multiplied by 10, leave the big guns {and pistols} at home on training day, start with a .22lr just to learn how to use the scope, get a cheek weld, squeeze and manipulate a trigger, work a safety, ect..

Now you as an instructor can sit back and watch, as soon as you see something wrong, stop them with a touch on the shoulder, disable the gun and show them with you in there seat how to fix it, then let them back in and show them on their person what is wrong... Its really easy to make a good shooter out of someone who never shot before, if they end up with bad habits, its the instructors fault...

Also the first few shots are going to show you any flinches which are the trade mark of the scared shooter. I wouldn't go up in size from 22lr until the shooter showed they were ready, mastering the lr is an art of its own, takes some people 2 hours and others 2 years, lol...

To be honest with you in my wifes case, she has shot some centerfire, but she will never hunt, she has no want to reach further than the 22lr gets her and she loves shooting 22 pistol, and I prefer it that way, 22 is cheap, my buddies wife shoots 308 and I see it take away from how much he can shoot, lol...

Now there is the case where you will run into someone afraid to shoot, thats OK, if they want to shoot bad enough they will work through it, if its a case where you want them to shoot, it can create a dangerous situation, they are scared and don't want to shoot, then you have your answer, they are scared but want to shoot, that is much easier, show them that they are behind the gun, show them the recoil is nothing more than a tap on the shoulder, I have seen people simulate this in all different ways everything from a class I attended that had co2 powered recoil simulators to an instructor that used a rubber mallet on the muzzle, getting over the recoil, noise, and flash all at once is sometimes harder than if they know what to expect out of the recoil first...

I have taught a bunch of kids and wives at my local range over the years, the classes start at $119 now, so if I can help for free I don't mind doing it, I had my sons and wife take the basic class since I think it is worth $120, but if its the difference between some advice and no class, some free advice is well worth its price ;)

Keep in mind, NOT EVERYONE wants to shoot a gun, a lot of people can go their entire life and die happy never holding a gun {I think they are crazy, but thats me}, and I see guys DRAG their families to the range, well that is not the answer, it just makes everyone miserable, frankly it ****** me off to no end, figure a new way to have family time, take your kids and wife somewhere they want to be and you don't mind too much.. If my wife wanted to drag me to her Pampered chef, sewing and thrift classes, her nieces dance classes, getting her eye brows threaded, or that class where they learn how to put pictures in collages I forget what it is called, notebooking or scrapfacing I don't know? I would divorce her :D , and if she wanted to come along EVERY time I went shooting again, not going to make me happy in anyway, sure come along once and a while, but not everytime...

These guys drag their miserable wives and kids along, they are over there popping away the daughter is texting on her phone, the wife is covering her ears and wincing everytime someone shoots, once and a while even getting surprised and letting out a little scream, when I see this stuff going on I leave, I am a member at 4 ranges, I will just move on to the next one or move to another sight... Sorry for the rant, but it erks me to no end..


good luck
 
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And the gun blowing up is partly my fault. I used reloads from a friend when we were shooting clays at a friendly contest at a shooting club and on my father in laws double barrel 12ga I went to shoot a clay and it just clicked on the first chamber, I thought nothing of it, and pulled the second trigger. The break barrel parts flew off, huge bang, decimated my glasses (luckily nothing went through them) stock was badly cracked. Turns out my friend didn't put powder in the first one and put double powder in the second and had no clue. I tell my GF that it was a freak accident and I should have paid attention.
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Found your problem, right there:
I used reloads from a friend
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.

Shotgun shells are dirt cheap, lawyers are spendy, and friendships are priceless.

Thank you all for the responses by the way! My GF says she'll try shooting again soon but that shes still nervous and a little scared. I told her that if our daughter can do it and have fun then she can do the same. We are going to start my daughter off on airsoft (or paintball marker), so she can get used to something actually happening when the trigger is pulled. One she is used to that itll be a .22
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I can't speak from experience on teaching young women to shoot- aarondhgrahm is the resident amatuer expert in that department (Pax would be the Pro, and her Cornered Cat site http://www.corneredcat.com/ is good reading for any shooter, male, female, adult or minor )- but I have taught 4 little girls to shoot. Most of them like to shoot, one does not, but learning gun safety and basic competence was not an option at our house. Just like learning to swim or drive, or cook, I see it as one of those basic life skills that everyone needs to know how to do without hurting themselves or others, if only to be able recognize dangerous behavior by others, that they might avoid them .....

What age to start with little kids? There are whole threads on that .... but I started with my kids as young as 3 ...... as soon as they are old enough to start following instructions and understanding the concept of cause and effect ..... by age 8, mine have their own single shot .22 that they took 4-H shooting sports with .... at age 11, they take the Hunter Safety course (by which point, the course was a piece of cake- they've been shooting for years by then).....

My best pointers for teaching kids? After making sure they know and can put the 4 Rules into practice (Safety First- ALWAYS,NEVER,KEEP&KNOW!+ TheGoldenRuleofToolUse.), keep it fun: No Pressure, No Pain (.22lr to start) ..... reactive targets for instant feedback...... stressing fundamentals is great, but they will strive to follow the fundamentals on their own when they understand through trial and error that hitting what they are aiming at is best done by using good fundamentals ....... 8 year old kids can really concentrate when doing everything right is rewarded by an exploding easter egg 50 feet away ..... by the time they are 10 or 11, they are breaking gallon milk jugs full of water with their deer rifles, from a sitting position out to 150-200 yards ......
 
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